Marriage is a sacred union. This is one statement that is common to every belief system, it doesn't matter which one you choose to follow. Ever since the beginning of society as we know it, marriage has excited women, whereas some men would run away faster than Usain Bolt, before you can even say the 'M' word! Sadly, infidelity is also another very common, but ugly truth, which leaves women wondering about cheating husbands, because, after all, you love the man. Most marriages go through rough patches, some couples come out stronger than before, while others part ways.
If you are suspecting your husband of cheating on you, before you take any action, it is advised to be sure of your claim. And by this, I mean proper signs, and not just a gut feeling. Sometimes, marriages can be destroyed due to constant suspicion. If you have visible proof, then brace yourself to accept the reality of the situation. Concealing the truth and lying to yourself will only make the transition more difficult. There are certain signs of infidelity that you need to look out for, but please, don't jump to any conclusion based only on these signs. Find out from the following article regarding what to do if your husband is cheating.
Signs of a Cheating Husband
- Most unfaithful men become uncharacteristically mysterious or secretive about their day, and become short tempered and irritable when excessively prodded about the same. This is one of the characteristic signs. A lack of intimacy between the couple is a big giveaway of extramarital affairs, and this also corresponds to the sudden need of privacy, especially when it concerns cell phones and laptops.
- Some men even avoid eye contact while discussing their day, and some of them may constantly refer to another women, or start comparing you to the other women. Some husbands may start criticizing their wives and unconsciously make references to cheating or wishing for a wife who is more like someone else.
- You may also notice certain signs of an affair, like an increase in expenditure, and attempts to cover up the expenses. A change in personality and attitude are also common, you will notice that he might be doing things that he previously didn't like. He may also encourage you to spend more time away from the house and will be extremely inquisitive about the details of your plan for the day beforehand.
- Signs also include surfacing of guilt. Some men can't handle guilt, so you may notice your partner referring to such topics, but not continuing the conversation. Spending more time away from home, especially frequent 'business trips' is another big giveaway for infidelity.
Like I said, the above signs maybe obvious, but at times, your husband maybe acting differently just because of job stress, or something else (he may actually have a busy month at work). So don't nag him or cry yourself to sleep till you find something concrete like a lipstick stain on the collar or a hickey. If you have discovered what I just mentioned, or something similar to that, then be brave, because it's not the end of the world. Sometimes, women will endlessly search for signs of unfaithfulness, even when there is nothing to be worried about, on the other hand, some can go into denial and ignore the most apparent and obvious signs of a troubled relationship. Women have endless discussions and keep asking for marriage advice from their friends about cheating spouses, but all I can say is, keep your wits about and don't live in an illusion.
Handling a Cheating Husband
Now you know how to tell if the man is cheating, so don't just sulk and be depressed all the time get cracking on the next course of action. What you plan to do next will depend on the circumstances. In any case, the best thing to do is confront him. If you have children at home, it is best to confront him when they are out of the house. This is the time you need to be strong, so keep the tears at bay and let him know that you are aware of his misdeeds. Be prepared for any cock and bull story, as in most cases, he will blame you for the failure of your marriage, and say he was driven to cheating, but don't let that mess with your head. Even if he claims he cheated because of some 'primal animal instinct', be clear and firm and don't get taken in by his blame game. If he accuses you of hallucinating about him cheating, show him proof.
After the initial heated argument, decide on the next course of action, so that you know clearly what is going to happen. I would advice that for the sake of your health (and children, if involved) stay away from him till you have figured out what has to be done. Either ask him to move out, or you can spend the night at your parents place. If you have children, then please hide this from them till you have a clearer picture, they are too young to witness this as it progresses. I could suggest revenge by burning his favorite shirt, but that happens in movies, deal with the situation like a sensible adult.
Many times, a husband may cheat if you stopped being a wife to him, by this I mean, you took the role of mothering him with constant nagging. In such situations, romance quickly suffocates. This also happens if you consciously avoid getting intimate with him for whatever reason. Constant bickering over petty issues on your part, will only drive him to have an affair. After all, everyone is entitled to happiness and love, so avoid vindictive behavior in your marriage. If at the start of your marriage, your mental set up was different, don't hold him responsible. Constantly insulting your man is only going to push him away from you. So change your attitude and stop the blame game. In most cases, both the parties are at fault, so part of the process of getting back together involves admitting your mistake. Try going in for some marriage counseling as it is best to douse burning fences and work towards a happy marriage.
This might sound harsh, but some wives who are cheated on know deep within that they too, are no angels. You may not openly admit it, but recognize your faults and give yourself and your marriage a second chance. The key is to be aware of cheating partners, but that is not the difficult part, the challenge is acknowledging the betrayal to yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of, as these things happen to the best of us. So now that you are armed with these marriage counseling tips, and you know in case of cheating husbands, what to do, hold your head high throughout the process and get your life back on track.