With the story of Tiger Wood's infidelity hitting the newspapers, betraying in relationships is again a hot topic (Well, it rarely goes to the backseat). If one has a look at the statistics, one will notice that the rate of married men and women cheating on their spouses is more than the divorce ratio in many parts of the world. Also, not surprisingly, the rate of married men cheating on women is more than the vice versa. So, arises the question, what makes people fall for infidelity and cheat on their partners?
Causes of Cheating
Interestingly, when researchers and doctors studied the psychology of cheating when in a relationship, they found that in nearly half of the cases, cheating is accidental! It is difficult to accept that one can be unfaithful accidentally, but it is true. However, in other cases, there are more stronger causes of people cheating on their partners.
Lack of Sexual Intimacy
Sex is one of the most important factor in a relationship, and the lack of it can be a major factor for a relationship to fall apart. Sexual intimacy is essential for the bond between the couple to grow and remain stronger. Couples should be aware that sexual intimacy is also known as making love, as it is considered as one of the best ways to express your love and care to your partner. In most of the cases, modern-day lifestyle, career, children, busy schedule, etc. results in a lack of sexual intimacy, distance between couples and finally to extramarital affairs.
Cheating in relationships does not always mean that a person has a sexual relationship with a person other than his partner. Emotional cheating or unfaithfulness can also be termed as infidelity with your partner. Not discussing your emotions, your thoughts freely with your partner; being unhappy in the company of your partner; spending more time with a colleague who is just a friend, etc. is emotional cheating in relationship. It is found that men are more prone to emotional cheating, than women. On the contrary, the loneliness caused due to the distant partners in turn result in wives actually cheating on their husbands!
When talking about loneliness, it is also one of the major issues leading people to infidelity. In most of the cases, marrying incompatible partners, partners not of one's choice (in some countries), marital problems, or plain low self-esteem, or lack of confidence causes either of the partner to feel detached and isolated from the other. Loneliness is main reason for most of the middle-aged women to cheat on their husbands. Lack of communication between partners also creates a distance between them, finally being the cause for either of the partner to go astray.
Love, Money, Power
In rare cases, a man or a woman actually cheats his/her partner for true love. However, one cannot overrule the fact that if either of the partner feels unloved, uncared for in a relationship, he/she is sure to look out of marriage for it. On the other hand, people also fall for money, recognition, fame and power; and can fall out of a relationship for the same. However, this results in complete dissolution of the relationship!
Signs of Cheating
There surely are signs of cheating that need to be looked out for. The cheating person may unknowingly leave some signals that can set the partner on high alert!
- The cheating person suddenly stops seeking advice, confiding new ideas, ambitions to his partner.
- He/she may stop having sex or want more of it or may even try different and newer techniques.
- The cheating person is more obsessed with his/her appearance; may start to work out, buy a new wardrobe, etc.
- He/she may constantly pick quarrel, giving him opportunity to not to talk to his partner, ignoring him. Or the opposite, the cheating person may feel guilty in the company of this partner and may behave in more loving or caring manner.
- The cheating person may buy a new cell phone (and not tell you about it), arrange to get his bills in the office, never talk in front of you, hang up immediately on seeing you, delete caller IDs, etc.
- Sometimes, he/she may ask hypothetical questions like 'what is true love', 'is it possible to love more than one person at one time', etc. He/she may appear cheerful, happy, without any obvious reason!
Effects and Prevention of Cheating in a Relationship
Betrayal in relationships is definitely wrong, as in more than half of the cases, cheating even once, simply breaks the relationship. It is believed that if the cheating person is forgiven for the first time, he/she is more likely to cheat again as his mind may perceive the forgiveness as an allowance or acceptance of his/her behavior. This may or may not be true, but, one incident of cheating can dissolve a relationship or a marriage. One should remember that there are several painful effects of cheating in relationships. The innocent partner is a victim of pain, distrust, misery, loneliness, etc.
It also makes more complicated if children are involved, or if one of the partner is dependable on the other. If you are wondering is it possible forgive and forget adultery in relationships, then it completely depends on the situation and the views of innocent victim. Counseling may prove helpful to solve problems, but it will definitely take a lot of time to build the trust and the comfort level again. If not involved in complications, it is best to let go and have a relationship break up!
On the other hand, if you are wondering whether it is possible to prevent unfaithfulness and cheating in relationship, then it is necessary for both the partners to strive hard to maintain a healthy relationship. Remember, one of the best relationship advice is that communication and sharing are the fundamental elements of a successful and long-lasting relationship. Talking out one's wishes, desires, goals, expectations, problems, feelings, emotions, needs, relationship issues, etc. can help in solving most of the relationship problems. Secondly, being together, yet retaining one's own individuality is very essential. Cheating people often complain that their partners no longer are same people they once loved which can be a warning sign of the disintegration of a relationship.
Lastly, couples should note that, love, intimacy, loyalty and trust are the pillars of a relationship and elimination of any of them, can break a relationship. Good luck!