Often the word commitment is associated with fear of pressure and seamless efforts to make a relationship work. It is the anticipation, rather than the event, which makes us phobic of commitments. It is a popular belief, that women are more likely to commit in a relationship, than men. However, the reverse may be true, in changing times of rampant virtual and real-time social networking. You choose to be with someone and get in a relationship, because, you have the ability to relate to that person. However, before you plunge in to ask the person to make a commitment, know your state of mind and know the other person's mindset too, by reading these traits of commitment phobic person.
Moving away, emotionally and physically, are the obvious commitment phobia signs. If your partner, has no issues with being together, then naturally, there would be no reason for him/her to move away. However, if he or she is resenting the likelihood of being together, sharing everything, being answerable, and being responsible, your partner will distance himself/herself from you, in every possible way.
Yes, it is true that change is the only constant factor in life. This means, that challenging yourself to do something better every single day, is the consistency of change. However, commitment phobic people, believe, they have to change everything possible to be happy. Changing jobs, changing numbers, changing addresses, and changing social circles are some of the fears of such people. Hence, if you are falling head over heels for someone like this, think twice.
You may have been a victim of this or you may have done this yourself. Making plans, concreting them, and then backing out is a classic characteristic behavior of an insincere person. This does not necessarily mean the person runs away, but they forfeit, and give up on the cause of doing their share in the relationship.
Whether it is commitment phobic men, or women, both the species will keep things to themselves. Such people, dislike taking support of any kind, which makes it difficult for them to sustain a healthy relationship for a long time. Talking about their troubled lives, feelings, and emotions, makes them feel vulnerable. Thus, even if your partner loves you, he/she is scared to express it because they fear getting hurt and being dependent, which makes resolving conflicts a near impossibility.
Having preposterously great and improbable expectations, about the dream person, is another way of escapism. The irony here is, such people, want to find and wish to be with their soulmate. However, such a long list of must-haves, puts them in a position where they probably may not find anybody, ever! Here, the long list of expectations, becomes their way of expressing their phobia or aversion to reality.
Commitment phobic people are at a constant war with their own emotions. One moment they may seem caring and loving, and the other moment they may express unbound anger. This happens, because the person is trying to decide how to express exact emotions to the other person, so as to get the desired response, even if it is a relationship of any sorts. This keeps such people, in a constant state of fight with their dual emotions, of, to be, or not to be.
All of us have feared commitment at some point or the other, as we are try to adapt to changes presented to us during the course of our lifespan. However, those of you who can never decide what they want, collapse under the pressure of demanding careers, and relationships. And this becomes the undercurrent for most commitment phobic people. After all, what is commitment? It is a promise you make to yourself, to pick up a challenge and do better than you did yesterday. If you fulfill this promise with the zeal of an evangelist, then why should there be any fear about, 'I can't do this?'. Think about it!