Being a single mother means having the sole responsibility of a child, which is very difficult. However, if you affirm to yourself everyday that you are entitled to have fun and find love along with raising your child, then you can begin dating again. As a single mom, you must face a lot of questions like if it is all right to date, whether you should tell your children about it, whether you should introduce them to your date, and many such dilemmas. Given below are some tips that may answer some of these doubts.
Look for a Partner, not a Dad for the Kids
When they go out on dates, many single mothers start looking for men who possess qualities of a good father instead of someone whom they feel attracted to. Although there is no harm if the man possesses these qualities, it cannot be the starting point of dating or getting to know someone. Follow your instincts and if something has to happen, it will. If you go on a date thinking about things like whether he will be good to your kids or if he is responsible enough to be a father, you will lose out on the fun aspect of the date, which is very important, especially if you are dating after a long gap.
Strike a Balance between "Me Time" and "Kids Time"
Give equal time to both, the man you are dating, as well as your children. As a single mother, you may have to play the role of the mother as well as the father. Shower enough attention on your children so that they do not feel neglected. There will be times when you will have to sacrifice your date for your children. However, you do not have to do it every time. You can prioritize according to the situation.
Let the Relationship Progress Naturally
Usually, single mothers are confused about whether to introduce their date to their children. To allay such doubts, do not bring home every guy you date as it can get very perplexing for growing children. Wait until the initial attraction translates into something concrete or until you decide to date each other exclusively. If the relationship has progressed to this level, introduce the man in your life to your children. Keep very little expectations, as it is not necessary that the kids will like him instantly or he will be hands on and start sharing the responsibility of your children with you. Your children might even resent this new guy as they will have to share you with him. Keep communication with your kids and your date open, and give everyone time to get accustomed to the new situation.
Communicate in case of a Break-up
It is not necessary that all relationships will be successful. You might enter into a serious relationship with someone, bring him home, introduce him to your kids, and when they get accustomed to having him around, you may have second thoughts about the relationship. In such a case, explain to the kids that you are going to break up with him and that he will no longer be a part of your family. They can take it to heart, which is why it is important to make them understand that changes are a part of life and that you will love them and be a constant in their life irrespective of who comes and goes.
When it comes to dating and relationships, there are no concrete rules. Whether you want a casual or serious relationship is strictly your choice.