Tap to Read ➤

Do Distance Relationships Work?

Omkar Phatak Feb 18, 2019
The central question that is posed in front of many couples today, as they give top priority to their careers, is whether long distance relationships can be made to work. Here's a practical take on the whole matter.
Many couples today are not sure whether they can make a long distance relationship work. Its working or not working depends on how much each one of the two in the relationship believes in making it work. We all have seen them working in some cases and failing in others.
What are the factors that make such a relationship work? Does distance make the hearts grow fonder or grow apart? What can be done to sustain that flame of love and not let distance extinguish it? How can it be made to work? Let us try to find an answer to these questions.

Can Long Distance relationships Work in Reality?

People meet, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. It is supposed to be that simple and straightforward. But the truth is, it's never that simple, as each one of us who has been in a relationship realizes, in the course of time. There are priorities in life which keep changing with new experiences and even people change with changing times.
One always arrives at crossroads where one must choose between his/her career or a relationship. Those who choose the former, need to inevitably go through a period of a long distance relationship, which is the real test of their love and patience. Here is a frank analysis of what can make such relationships go a long way.

It May Work If ...

Long distance relationships need a lot of patience and willing sacrifice from both sides. When they both are up to it and believe in a future together, the relationship is bound to work. Besides unconditional love which is the core foundation of any successful relationship, here are some reasons that make them work.

You Meet Often

It is very important that both of them meet, once in a while and just be together. Nothing can be a substitute for that. 
Meeting and spending quality time together, once in a while, is what makes the long periods of separation bearable and helps the relationship survive.

There is Conversation

It is very important that both talk to each other and know about what's happening in each other's lives. That way, they both feel involved and can stay connected. 
Writing mails and chatting online works, but nothing can replace the beauty of a handwritten letter. It is much more real and personal. So writing letters to each other is recommended.

There is Trust

Needless to say, trust is the basis of any relationship. Trusting each other is most important. That is what sustains any relationship. It is about making sacrifices today for a better and more secure tomorrow.

There is Honesty

Along with trust, honesty is another factor which strengthens the bond between two people. When both are honest in whatever they share and feel, it builds trust and there is little room for doubts and suspicion to creep in.

There is Loyalty

Needless to say, being faithful and loyal is what makes a relationship sustain itself. There can be no compromises there.

It May Fail When ...

To make a relationship work, it takes a lot of initiative from both the partners. If it's lacking from one or both sides, time and distance just make it fall apart. There are many reasons why such a relationship breaks up. Here are some of them.

People Change Through Different Experiences

There are two factors which decide the fate of these relationships: distance and time for which the people stay apart. If the time for which they stay apart is too long, they are bound to drift apart as they become parts of different worlds all together.
The time they have spent together sustains their relationship for a while; their relationship thrives on memories. But new memories have to be created, or the relationship starts fading with fading memories. After a point of time, one forgets what it was like to be together and becomes unsure about his/her real feelings about that person.

Emotional Involvement Diminishes

There are vulnerable moments, when you just want your partner to be there for you. A telephonic conversation is just not enough, you need them to be with you.
When they are repeatedly not there at such times, the emotional involvement slowly decreases and things begin to fall apart. In some cases, it decreases to such an extent that people forget how much they were involved in each other, once upon a time.

They Miss Sharing Important Moments of Life

Many important moments of their life, which they should be spending together, are lost. These moments bring you together and when you are not with each other, these precious moments are gone and they never come back again.

Possessiveness and Paranoia Set In

At times, when someone is too possessive in a relationship, long distance can make them paranoid about who their boyfriend/girlfriend meets and interacts with, when they are away. This happens when there is a lack of trust. Slowly, the paranoia, resulting in consequent distrust in the partner, which leads to friction, takes its toll, on the relationship.
To summarize, if both believe in a future together, these relationships can sustain themselves, as long as the period of separation is not too long. That is, long enough to make the hearts grow fonder and short enough to be bearable!