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Do Second Marriages Really Work Better?

Kulbhushaan Raghuvanshi Dec 5, 2018
According to experts, 40% of first-time marriages are likely to end in divorce, but 30% of second-timers are likely to consult a divorce lawyer. So does this mean that second marriages have a better chance at succeeding than the first one? Read ahead for answers for the same.
Who gives a damn about your first love. Give a big round of applause for your second love, because they taught you love still exists after you thought it never could. ~ Unknown
If we ever lived in an ideal world, all men and women would marry, have a great life, be happy for eternity, and also leave this world together. However, reality is far from perfect, and marriages often fail due to a number of reasons. But counting the number of years that life has to offer, should we choose to live it alone?
Or should we consider walking down the aisle a second time with that special someone? This question can have a lot of opinions. Most of them depending on why the first marriage ended. But keeping all the apprehension and self-doubt aside, relationship experts do recommend giving marriage another shot.
The first matrimonial bliss couldn't achieve the perfect ending, but that doesn't mean you won't be lucky the second time. After all, you do find love again, don't you? Then why back away from commitment? However, before you plan to take one of the most important decisions of your life, here are certain points to consider.

Understanding the Failure of First Marriage

This is a crucial step for anyone who has gone through a separation. It is essential to be single for a while after the first marriage has ended, and analyze all the wrongdoings that contributed to its failure. The first thing to do is to accept that it wasn't just your spouse's fault that led to the breakup.
Putting the entire blame on the spouse is not fair, and hence relationship experts strongly recommend divorce counseling to get closure, so that you can come to terms with it. Maybe it was a mismatch from the beginning, you and your ex loved each other, but somewhere things weren't just right, and the marriage couldn't be saved.
Or maybe he/she was not at all what you imagined your ideal partner to be. All these thoughts can actually provide valuable insight on the various personal issues that need to be dealt with, and make you aware of all the things that you want your current partner to have.
The more you understand about your desires, aspirations, and failures, the more likely you are to succeed the second time. Instances where one of the spouse has passed away is a different case altogether. The surviving partner may confront various emotions while thinking about remarrying, and might even take many years to begin a relationship or remarry.

Reasons Why Second Marriages Last

Both Partners are Experienced

Experience ensures that the same mistakes are not committed again. Yes, there are certain things to which the couple has to still get accustomed to, but they are well-versed with the basic rules of marriage. Both of them know what works and what doesn't, and hence accordingly they pick and choose battles.
They also understand the importance of effective communication and listening, and hence are capable of sorting out differences easily.

They Want This to Work

Second-timers are extremely passionate about making their marriage work, however, this doesn't mean that they didn't work hard on their first one. Remarried people are more aware of the things that can cause a rift between a couple, and hence tend to take nothing for granted.
They understand that not everyone gets a second chance and now that they have it, they cherish it more than ever.

They Have Deeper Understanding of Things

After the breakdown of their first marriage, people tend to spend a lot of time analyzing and conditioning themselves to overcome their shortcomings. The pain they encountered acts as their guide, and makes them aware of all the little and big things that can help make a marriage successful.
So do second marriages really work? Of course they do, but only for those who have understood their own history, and even accepted their partner's history as well. So avoid keeping secrets from each other, and realize that talking about the past does help recognize problems, with a higher possibility of not repeating them.