Sometimes, one requires external help in the form of marriage counseling to deal with problems that develop in a marriage. Read ahead for ways that will in a way, help you deal with the issue of 'Does marriage counseling work'.
Couples all over the world have their doubts when it comes to opting for marital counseling. First of all, they are torn with a feeling of negativity―that their condition has escalated to the point where they need to seek outside help to set their lives right.
And secondly, they are faced with the constant doubt of its success. They find it difficult to open up and share their personal lives with a complete stranger. If you identify with this feeling, then just read ahead.
Marriage Counseling Questions
Wondering about its success is a very natural reaction to when one thinks of opting for marriage counseling. This is because they know nothing about the process. To solve this conundrum, it would help if couples knew a few things about the same and were clear about the situation before they sought professional help. Here are some things, they need to know.
Being realistic about your relationship is the first step in seeking marital advice. It is important to understand the situation and face the fact that marriage counseling may be a good step to make the marriage work. At the same time, do not go in with the idea that counseling is a magic pill.
Where is the Love?
Answer this question truthfully. Are you still in love? If yes, then marital counseling will only help. If a couple is in love, then making changes and accommodating the other becomes easier.
Open to Change
A marriage counselor will ask you to do certain exercises or will want to you to change certain things so that the marriage will be smoother. She will make you aware of how and what is causing conflicts and how to deal with it. This will involve changing. Counseling will work for those who are willing to change and are open to new ideas and experimentation.
Mature and Non-sexist
Marriage counseling is seen to work for those who are mature and non-sexist. Being non-sexist leads to a block in the sessions because you allot gender specific roles to the other. Harboring feelings like 'Counseling is for women' or 'He should take the responsibility because he is a man', is not going to get you anywhere near saving your marriage.
Counseling seems to work more for people who are young. This is because younger people do not have set ideas. It is said that as people age, they become more and more set in their ways.
Once they become set in their ways, they find it difficult to change and accommodate or compromise. It is likely that during the time that they have toyed with the concept of whether marriage counseling works, they have also managed to accumulate more baggage and problems for themselves.
So also, couples who have a negative approach to it, or are bent on the idea that getting a divorce is the only solution, will find it impossible to deal with the doubt of its success and will be unwilling to listen to any advice.
Marriage counselors from all over suggest that when you start facing problems in your marriage, and seeking outside help seems to be the only solution left, then do it as quickly as possible instead of harboring doubts. Salvaging a marriage is best done early on and the money you pay for the sessions is a small price to pay for a matter so sensitive.