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Averse to Relationships? Lets Discuss How Not to Fall in Love

Rujuta Borkar Apr 21, 2019
'How not to fall in love'. Difficult as it may seem, here we shall try to cover a few important aspects of how this might just be possible. So if you've ever been in this situation and needed to have an answer, read this for some insights.
It's there. It's all there. The married guy. Your sister's boyfriend. The jerk. The best friend who loves someone else. The boyfriend you've had for only a week. In short―some of the categories that you just don't want to fall for. Conundrum? Yes, of course conundrum.
Weird as it may seem, there are times when falling in love with someone is an option you just don't want to give yourself. And it's understandable too. There is such a thing as wrong guys and wrong timing and wrong situations and wrong intentions and... the list could go on. Here, all you want to do is get your emotions to just behave. Just. Please. Behave.
But yeah, that's really not how it goes. You might think you're really strong, but then when you are plagued with feelings for the other person, you can't help falling in love with them. Any which way, you want to know how to prevent falling for someone, correct?
We will tell you a few things in terms of relationship advice, but keep in mind that these are not some formulas. It really does depend on you and the situation at hand. Not forgetting the guy involved as well. In the next sections, we will go through some of the classic situations that could force you to wonder how not to fall in love.

Falling in Love too Quickly

What is too quickly? Too quickly (We would say, and we are sure you'd agree) is a time when you do not know the guy/girl well enough and you start falling for him/her. As in you start overlooking all those factors that might be bad for your relationship.
As in you start making excuses for his behavior. As in you start ignoring or turning a blind eye to his bad points. Aren't you just setting yourself up for trouble by doing that? The things that seem inconsequential today, might pose a major problem tomorrow.
We understand that there is no control over your emotions, but we would say, take it slow. First, and the most important thing to do is to:
● Give it time. Give the whole situation sufficient time to understand what you're going through. Many people misconstrue a crush for love because of those surge of feelings they experience. That is why it important to understand what true love is.
● Secondly, do not rush into proclaiming your love. Once you do that, there is hardly ever a time when you can take it back to the way it was before, and you end up feeling vulnerable. Look for some signs that will tell you whether he is reciprocating your feelings or not.
And only after you know that he's not the kind to trample all over you, you can think of giving him hints to say that you 'like' him.

Falling in Love with a Jerk

The bad boys. Now excuse us if we go overboard with this one, but bad boys? They've got to be the typical mold, don't they? Allow us to elaborate.
A rich fancy car pulls over and the tires screech to a halt. Everyone stops in their tracks to look out. Then flaunting two insanely beautiful girls in short minis on either side, he walks in. Charming good looks, hair sleeked back into the latest style, not a hair out of place. Not a wrinkle on that crisply ironed shirt.
Tight leather pants, clean shaved, the after shave lotion making an entry blocks before he does, then a slow clip-clop of heavy boots as he turns the corner, and that smile just thrown into your direction. And you―a prolonged inhalation of breath. A deep sigh. A heartbeat that threatens to shatter your eardrums.
You get the drift? Wrong guy to fall for. Him being serious about love and relationships when he can have all the sailor fun he can get? Seems difficult. The 'regular, original, know it all' kinda jerk who only looks to have fun. And you know that. Or else you wouldn't be asking how not to fall for a jerk. So what to do when there's a jerk involved?
● Run! Unless you're a masochist or something. Sometimes though it just takes falling down to know not to go there again. You spend sometime with him and see how he treats you. You won't like it.
We won't put it past him to say mean things or treat you like an extra from a movie or something and that hurt should want you to get away. But if you don't want to go there, then try getting away the minute you realize something's not right.
● Don't hang around unnecessarily with the hope of catching a glimpse, then don't bend yourself backward trying to please him and hanging onto his every word. This is a great way to deal with this problem―stop interacting as much and you'll find the intensity fading.
● Get busy with work and friends and you'll see that the intensity gets lesser and lesser.
● Start dating other guys and you'd be surprised what they have to offer when it comes to romance.

Falling in Love with a Married Man

Tough. Sitting in that comfortable chair there, it is very simple for many to judge women who fall in love with married men. All we are saying is that unless a particular person is in the same situation and has gone through the same thing, they really should not judge.
That out of the way, it's commendable that there are women out there who see a bad thing coming and want to dodge the bullet. How does one avoid falling in love with a married man?
● You have to be strong. There is just no way out of this. Remind yourself of his family and what you'd be doing to them. Then truthfully answer―do you really want to be doing that?
● Again, we'd urge you to really, really get busy and take your mind off things.

● If possible, try not to meet up or limit the meetings to strictly business ones.
● And if you cannot avoid meeting up, promise yourself that you won't make a move. That will complicate the situation further.
● Another thing that has seen to work is to remind yourself of your future and reinstate the things you've wanted for yourself in your life. Is this what you've wanted? You'll have the answer and you'll know what to do.

In Conclusion

It does seem simple when you read it, but that is not to say that it is not a test of your strength and will power. But there are a few pointers that we have mentioned here like:
  • Understanding what love is.
  • Giving it time.
  • Getting busy with other activities.
  • Physically getting away.
  • Dating other people and giving yourself a fair chance.
In conclusion, all we want to reiterate is the fact that when a situation does come along that makes you tear your hair out, just remember not to beat yourself over it too much. Things like these happen and you can't really do anything about them. Try some of the things we've listed here and they might help you. You know what they say -
Sometimes you have to give a little,
Take a little
Let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.