When a couple gets married, their hearts are filled with starry love, love which they think and wish for to be with them till 'death do them apart'. Sadly, this is not the case always. As, once the honeymoon period is over and the routine of life settles in, reality strikes. Differences among the couples creep up, sometimes within months, or even weeks after the marriage. It is not that the differences did not exist earlier, it is only that they seem to start observing it just after marriage.
A lot of times, ego clashes and fights finally lead to a divorce. This is when they realize that love is not the only thing that is needed to stay committed and remain married. However, most marriages that start to crumble due to differences of opinion and lack of understanding can be prevented with a little bit of help. Therefore, if you and your spouse are facing a situation where you do not think that you can live with each other anymore, it is important for you to first know ways in which you can save your marriage.
Truth about Marriage
One of the best ways is try to understand what are the things that make a marriage work, before actually getting married. Though every couple has a different recipe for a happy marriage, there are certain basic things that remain the same for everyone. One must understand that compromises are a part of married life and there is nothing wrong to set aside one's ego and listen to one's partner. Also, the reasons to get married should be clear in one's mind before the marriage.
If you are getting married because you think your partner will change or you will be able to sort out the differences after marriage, you are completely wrong. You must understand that if you have problems during your courting days, they will surely continue even after you are married. So, if you are facing any such problems, it is extremely crucial to think thoroughly before saying 'I do'.
When your marriage is at the edge of a divorce, it is very important to give it one last chance. This is important because though one can legally get divorced just by signing a document, the emotional turmoil is much greater, even if the divorce is just a mutual agreement. Moreover, in most cases, there are kids at stake who have to go through such a big punishment, even when they are not at fault. So, rethinking and putting in efforts can help a couple save their marriage.
Sometimes, when two people are not able to make a marriage work, involving a third party can help in solve marital problems. This is where a marriage counselor comes in. The counselor will help you and your spouse chalk out the positives in your marriage. If not a counselor, you may also consult your religious pastor. Other options like self-help books, DVDs, marriage training courses, etc., can prove helpful too. Getting help from outsiders can help in sorting out issues between you and your spouse and eventually help prevent your divorce.
One of the most common reasons why couples end their marriage is extremely less or no communication at all. In today's world, when both the spouses are busy with their work, communicating and spending time with each other takes a back seat. Sometimes, people start taking each other for granted and all this can cause frustration. Open communication in a marriage is very important and can prevent a marriage from inching towards divorce. Listen to your partner's views and opinions and try to understand them by putting yourself in his or her shoes. When you begin to empathize with your partner, he/she will also try to understand you which will keep both of you happy.
Bring Back Romance
Romance is that one factor that keeps a marriage going. Unfortunately, a busy schedule and a routine life put it on the back burner. Years after getting married, most of the couples are only left with conversations about their children, house, finances, etc. This can make the relationship quite boring, predictable, and monotonous. To avoid this, it is important to spice things up and add zing to the relationship. Though going for a second honeymoon does sound like a great idea it is not the only option. Giving gifts without any reason, small gestures of love, genuine appreciation, and praising the other, etc, can do wonders to a relationship.
It is important for every couple to understand that marriage does not work or prove a success on its own. Love, respect, trust, determination, and hard work are the key factors that help couples prevent the prospect of divorce lurking in their marriage.