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How to Build Trust Back in a Relationship

Aastha Dogra Nov 30, 2018
Infidelity is one of the major reasons that leads to lack of trust, respect, and honesty in a relationship. To build the trust again and make things fall back on track, one needs to put in a lot of effort.
"Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself." ― John Harold
Trust is that special ingredient in all our relationships, be it with one's parents, spouse, or children, which makes their foundations stronger. Without trust and commitment, no relationship can ever become successful.
However, building trust in a relationship does not happen overnight; it has to be constantly worked upon every single day. Although it takes years to build trust, it may take just one mistake to break it forever. But, is it possible to make someone trust you back again, if you have lied to them or cheated on them?

Sort Out Your Feelings

Let's be honest. Building trust back in a relationship is not an easy task, but if you love your partner and genuinely feel that the "affair" was a big mistake, try and work things out.
If you are still in two minds about whether or not this relationship is what you want, give it some time. Be very clear about your feelings first. If somewhere you feel that your partner is not the right person for you, convey it to them and decide on whether you'd still be staying in the relationship or breaking up.

Communicate, Listen, and Apologize

Once you are clear that your partner is the one for you, the first thing to do is to rebuild communication. Approach your partner and admit that you have had an affair behind their back.
Take full responsibility. Apologize to your partner by looking them in the eye. Of course, your partner will be very hurt at that moment, so do not expect them to believe you. They might even react aggressively.
However, maintain your calm and listen patiently to whatever they have to say. Do not give any reasons or make stories on why you cheated. Just admit your mistakes.

Bring Life Back to Your Relationship

Once your partner is over the initial shock and is ready to have a normal conversation, discuss your relationship at length with them.
If you had an affair because something was lacking in the relationship, tell your partner about it. If at some point, you felt that there was a lack of romance or fun in your life and that's why you had an affair, discuss with your partner as to how you can bring the spice back.
A useful tip here is to go in for marriage counseling. A counselor would be the best person to suggest ways to bring love, commitment, romance, and fun back into your relationship and to solve any issues you might be facing.

Be an Open Book

Do not keep secrets from your partner. Be predictable. Small gestures like always being available on the phone, introducing your partner to your friends, telling them when you will be late from work and why; go a long way in making someone trust you again.

Be Respectful and Reliable

Just like trust is the basis of any healthy relationship, mutual respect is also needed to sustain it. So, treat your partner with respect. Listen to them when they have to say anything.
Be empathetic and sensitive towards their feelings, and be there whenever they need you. If they have any professional problems, always lend an ear and a helping hand. If you are reliable and always there for them, they will slowly start trusting you again.
Your partner may be very angry and withdraw into a shell or may simply walk out of the relationship due to your infidelity. You never know what's going to happen, as you are dealing here with a broken heart, with feelings and emotions. If you love your partner, make efforts till you get them back; not just physically, but emotionally as well.