But what if you start having problems with that same loved one? What do you do then? Do you give up thinking that there is no way to fix the issues? Well, if you truly love someone, you would give it every inch of compromise, you would put in every effort that you can, to ensure that you do not have to give up on the special relationship that you have.
This is why many couples having marital problems choose to go to a marriage counselor. And if and when they reach this decision, they all ask the same question; how do you find a counselor who can definitely help you? We tell you how you could make the right choice.
Finding a Good Marriage Counselor
When a couple wants their marriage to work out more than anything else but is unable to pinpoint the reason why they are having problems is when they need to visit a counselor. A counselor not only helps you identify the problems that you are having but also helps both partners deal with the problem.
Most couples seem to believe the wrongly placed notion that negative emotional reaction to certain actions is a result of their incompatibility. A counselor can help you understand how to deal with these combustible reactions. Counselors also impart a sense of encouragement to both partners to help them believe that it is possible to make the marriage work.
A counselor can also help you learn how to find solutions to the problems that you have. If you have been successful in finding a good counselor, then the process can of counseling will definitely be helpful. In order to find a good counselor, you can consider the following tips.
➢ First and foremost, before you decide what you want from the marriage counselor, you need to come to a conclusion about what you need from counseling. What are the problem areas in your marriage? What are the areas that need to be focused on? Once you have answered these questions, finding a counselor will be easy.
➢ The qualifications of a counselor is something that many couples put a lot of emphasis on. You may want to hire a counselor who is not only experienced but also well trained to deal with the problems that you have as a couple. Of course this decision will be affected by other concerns like finances.
➢ A great way of finding a good marriage counselor is asking your therapist or your family doctor. They should be able to recommend someone. If you are comfortable telling your family and friends that you are having problems, then you may ask someone who has consulted a counselor.
Your religious leader may also be able to provide you with a referral for a good counselor. If none of them know about a good counselor, consult the yellow pages as a last resort.
➢ Once you have made a shortlist of the counselors that you may go to, visit their offices and ask for literature about the services that they provide. You could also choose to meet with the counselor and ask them questions about their methods and their success rates if you find this essential. This can, in many ways, help you make a good decision.
➢ Once you have met a counselor, remember that with a good counselor certain things are essential. You should be able to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your counselor. The counselor should listen to you and be able to understand the problems that you have with each other. A good therapist will allow you to talk before starting to give advice.
➢ If there are specific problems like depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc., that are creating issues in your married life, then you need to tell your counselor about the same and also ensure that the marriage therapist is experienced to solve your marital problems by focusing on individual issues.
There is no sure-shot method to know if a counselor is good or not. Keeping these tips in mind will help you find a counselor who is sympathetic to your problem and helps you find neutral ground in your relationship. This will only help you and your partner go back to building a solid foundation to your relationship.