A break up never seems justified and neither does it feel right. Wanting him back in your life is only natural. However, reconnecting with your boyfriend can be for various reasons. It can either be to teach him a lesson by hurting him the way he hurt you, or to revive the lost relationship by rekindling the romance of yesterday. In the former case, drop the idea and let it go, because remember what goes around comes around!
No Blame Game
Feeling lost and confused is an obvious side effect of a breakup. However, you cannot blame him entirely for calling it quits. The signs of estranged relations are often ignored with a facade of a hunky-dory attitude. Introspect a little and go over the time you spent together in the past few months, to recognize the problems. Remember that it takes two to tango, which means you were wrong at some point too. Thus, identify your mistakes and analyze them. Accepting your follies is the first step towards bringing about a change in who you are, and being the person he wanted you to be. Once he notices the change, why wouldn't he want to have you back?
Now that you have decided to make a conscious effort in changing your attitude, you need to act on it as well. The biggest mistake women make while trying to get their ex back, is frequent every place he goes to. This behavior implies being clingy, and men for one, like independent women. Constantly being around him, will make him think that you are still not over him, and hence, you want him back. This act will wash over your attitude makeover as well. Thus, get out of his hanging out radius, and create your absence in his mind. Allow him to realize that he's lost you and there's no way that he can reach to you. If this means taking a sabbatical from social networking sites and your cell phone, then do so. Head out for a vacation or a camp, to get a change of scene. It will help you gather your thoughts and chalk out the plan of action to get him back. Give this about two to three weeks to move on to the next step.
Heard of absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, it does for sure. It not only makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes one ponder! Make a gradual entry into his life, by getting back to your social life. Drop him a line of chat or text messages asking him where he is and leave it at that. Find out his whereabouts from your common friends and pretend to have accidentally bumped into him, when you have been secretly planning it all along. Stir up a casual conversation and follow it up over text messages and phone conversations late into the night. If he's staying up late to chat with you, it is a sure sign that your plan is working.
Conviction and Confidence
Now that you have him on phone, chats, and back in your social life, it is only a matter of time before he becomes a part of your personal life. Avoid sending him a hundred messages in a day, in case he does not reply to your message. If he does not answer your call, give him space instead of constantly calling him. Being confident and acting with conviction, will show him a side of you which he has never seen before. Also, giving him space is an act of reverse psychology, which will draw him closer to you.
Finally, while trying these tips, give him the time and space to make his decision about coming back to you. Be the person who understands and supports him, like no one else does. Once you have him in your life, remember that it takes efforts to mitigate the earlier issues and restart to build a relationship that is stronger than the one you shared before.