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Living with an Alcoholic Spouse

Rashida Khilawala Nov 24, 2018
Living with an alcoholic spouse can be a terrible ordeal. Alcohol alters the way a person reacts to every emotion and action. If you, or someone you know, is in such a predicament, we hope that this information helps you out.
Are you staying with an alcoholic partner/spouse? Or is it someone you know? Either way, it is a difficult life to live. Anyone who has seen even bits and pieces of this kind of a life from a third person perspective would know at least 10% of how bad it really is.
There are many factors to consider if you try to make the situation any better than it already is. If you are living/dealing with an alcoholic spouse, the best thing you can do for them would be to release them from the habit. Here is some help.

Problem, but not yours

It is important for you to remember that alcoholism is a problem. But, the issue here is that many people who live with an alcoholic partner tend to make it their problem in the process of coping with him/her. The key is to keep your sanity intact.
You need to remember, at all points of time, that the alcoholism is their problem and not yours. Do not get emotional about the situation, as you need to keep your composure and calm. Treat them the way you normally would have. Do not pamper them, but also refrain from nagging.


Do you know that often spouses/partners actually enable their counterparts to stay addicted to alcohol? You will buy them the drinks, go to bars with them occasionally, and call in sick for them at work or a family event when they have a terrible hangover (which they do all the time!). When dealing with an alcoholic spouse, stop doing all this for them.
Tell them that they can drink all they want as long as your life and their responsibilities are unaffected by it. They may try to manage it, but sooner than later, they will realize that they need to tune down the booze. This is their first step into alcohol rehab. Join a forum to get more help and empathy, along with some much-needed guidance.

Say No to Self Pity

It is understandable when people pity themselves for the way their alcoholic spouse behaves, but self pity is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Stop telling yourself that you have it worse or "why is this happening?". Carry on with your life. You sticking around to clean up after your spouse is not going to help them.
When dealing with an alcoholic partner, you need to show them that you still have a life. Besides, when they get abusive, coping with them can get difficult. The best thing to come to your rescue would be your social commitments. Don't miss work and make sure that your life is on track. If you are really working at helping your spouse, this is the way to go.

Love is Intoxicating too

There is often a reason behind a person having to resort to alcoholism. To detach them from the vice, you need to help them out with that reason. The unconditional and irrevocable love of a spouse/partner can really help a person to kick the habit of drinking. However, don't solve their issues for them. Avoid interaction with them while they are drinking.
But when they are sober, be the same loving partner you were before the habit came into the picture (even more loving, if possible). Do not get into arguments or fights with them when they are under the influence. This will help you keep yourself away from the derivative of the influence as well. You can also try out some alcohol detox for them.
When you live with an alcoholic spouse, you need to be sure about your every move, as this is no piece of cake. Make sure you maintain your sanity, and keep your calm when dealing with their antics. Treat them with love and get professional help to pull you and your loved one out of the mess.