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Making Marriage Work After Infidelity

Arjun Kulkarni Feb 18, 2019
Is it really possible to take your spouse back in after he/she has been unfaithful to you? The answer mostly depends on you and how you feel. Nevertheless, this information provides guidance and help on this delicate and sensitive subject.
Unfortunately, most of us humans have very little stomach to fight off our desires. Men and women may crave for different things, but few can put their foot down and refuse the lures of another, more charming person which inevitably leads to infidelity.
And because, it is not looked down upon with the ferocity with which it was earlier, it has become a very common phenomena. But, if you love your spouse despite their indiscretions, then making your marriage work, even after you have been a victim of infidelity, will be your topmost priority.
A relationship is based on trust, and when one partner breaks that trust, so spectacularly, so brazenly by going out and consummating a relationship with someone else, that it becomes difficult to imagine things as they were before they went awry.
Moreover, having kept you in the dark about the whole thing, this person hardly deserves a second chance. The fact that your partner hid his/her mad attraction for someone else from you, and in fact, took the thing so far, means that there is something about the character of the cheater which is, frankly, quite despicable.
Broken trust can take years to mend, you'll be looking over your back at every instance, and the qualities you admired in your partner all these years, their commitment, their love, their truthfulness, and trustworthiness will all bite the dust.
You will hardly ever have a healthy relationship with your spouse after you have been cheated. You'll simply not be able to come to terms with the lack of trust.

Tips on Working Things Out

Still, if you're very keen on making your marriage work, and are still willing to give your spouse another chance, another shot, then here are some tips you could use.


A lot of couples let bygones be bygones and have that 'let's start anew' attitude, which, for now seems like a wonderful short term solution, but is not really going to help your relationship in any way. The causes of the problem still remain, don't they? Why did your spouse cheat on you?
There must be something about you, which your spouse was unhappy or not satisfied with. And by not talking about it, the shortcoming still remains and there are chances that there will be relationship issues later.
So communicate, talk about your problems to each other. It may become acrimonious momentarily, but is a better way out when it comes to maintaining a long term relationship.

Trust Each Other

Since not trusting your partner and keeping an eye on whether he/she strays again can be quite a cumbersome exercise, why not decide to trust your partner the way you did before?
After all, you're giving your marriage a chance with the hope that things will be the way they were before they cheated. So why not trust your spouse the way you did before?

Respect Their Trust

Which does not mean that the disloyal partner can abuse your blind faith and kindness to give them a second chance. The disloyal spouse should also respect their partner's forgiving nature and stop bandying them around. An adulterous partner needs to appreciate the fact that their partner is truly, a bigger person and keeps their sexual urges under control.
With trust and mutual respect, it can be done, mistrust and infidelity can be overlooked and overcome. But you need a really loving and caring partner to captain the marriage through the rough seas of mistrust.