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Marital Separation

What is Marital Separation and How It Helps

Marital separation can be considered as the first step towards divorce or a final attempt at reconciliation. The chances whether it can save a marriage solely depend upon the efforts of the two people involved.
Ashwini Kulkarni Sule
Last Updated: Mar 16, 2018
Young couple having relationship crisis
Every marriage is different and yet none is perfect. Every relationship has its own set of problems, which are unique to that relationship. The success of a marital relationship depends upon how well the couple resolves their conflicts. Lack of willingness from both sides to address the underlying issues, often leads to divorce. However, there are some couples who are desperate to hang on to their marriage and are willing to go that extra mile to make things work between them. For such couples, separation can be a good solution. As per statistics, most couples head for divorce after the separation period expires. Nonetheless, there are a few couples who gain an entirely new perspective upon their relationship and get on with their life with a fresh start. Thus, this process is worth a try for every couple experiencing difficulties in their relationship.
How Does Separating Help
Couples who hit troubled waters in their relationship, often spend most of the time bickering and arguing over petty things. Every morning they wake up to each other, only to face the same issues again. Due to the constant bickering over frivolous things, the couple often ignores the main cause of dispute. Things begin to turn ugly as the couple eventually resorts to hurting each other and pampering their own egos. There is neither time for introspecting one's behavior, nor there is any productive discussion to make things work between them. By filing for separation and implementing it in due course, the couple gets some breathing space. The temporary exit from each other's lives allows them to handle their lives independently. This helps to restore the mental peace in both the partners. They get ample time to ponder over their past mistakes and come up with some solutions to resolve the issue in question. At the end of the period, each of the partners gains a fresh perspective towards their relationship. This can eventually help the couple to bond again.
When Does Separating Help
There are certain circumstances in which this helps, while there are cases where separation only prolongs an impending divorce. It helps in cases where both the partners show an equal urge to save their marriage. When both the partners are willing to take efforts to do whatever it takes to work out issues between them, the chances of reconciliation are very bright. However, in cases where only one partner clings to marriage while the other is in hurry to get divorce, the chances of successful reconciliation are nil. People with cheating spouses or threatening partners seldom benefit from the process. Lastly, the decision should not be made reluctantly and seen as an obstacle towards the divorce. Instead, it should be a mutual agreement with the hope for a positive outcome.
Dealing with Separation
If the decision was not mutual, then it might come as a shock to the spouse who did not instigate it. Oftentimes, people take their partner's warnings to leave them very lightly. Finally, when it does happen, they might realize their mistakes and make attempts to reconcile with their partners. However, this won't help in cases where the spouse was anyway ready to file for divorce. In some cases, the process may widen the gap between the couple and may force one of them to get closer to the third person, if involved. Hence, it is important that the couple reaches a consensus where each of them agrees not to get involved with any other person during this period. If the rift between the couple was already wide and there was a lack of communication, then the two partners may continue with their lives as nonchalantly as before. However, if the love and attraction between the couple is still intact, they will indeed yearn to get back.
During this period try to lead your life as healthy as possible and maintain a positive outlook towards life. Let go of past grudges and learn from your mistakes. Render emotional support to your children (if involved) and take efforts to rebuild your life.