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Causes of Marriage Problems After Having a Baby and How to Solve Them

Naomi Sarah Mar 14, 2019
It isn't uncommon to stumble upon marriage problems after having a baby, since certain factors come into play, creating a rift between married couples. We look into these very factors that inevitably fall upon marriages that have been stressed for a long time.
There are people who are best friends for years, who see a lot together through good and bad, and marriage seems like the next thing to do. But, what if they aren't a hundred percent sure about what they are getting themselves into? Many people are sure that marriage is what they need, with most of them clueless about the struggles they're about to face.
It involves compromise, understanding about what it is the two have to face to play their individual roles out properly. Both men and women need their space, and a lot of things can wedge themselves in between, to test trust and patience in their bond. If one minor hurdle can't be resolved, then a marriage that lasts forever doesn't seem like a possibility.
Marriage problems after having a baby, is something you can expect, since mothers tend to go through a lot right after pregnancy. Her husband needs to be understanding when it comes to her feelings, and what she's going through. Let's see what the common marital problems are, besides when a baby is born.

Signs of Problems Within a Marriage

A marriage is a commitment that many people take for granted worldwide, with the US being the highest ranked country with the most number of divorces per year. Now why is that exactly?
Is it because they get bored and need change? Is it a financial problem that makes either one give up midway? Did someone resort to infidelity and decide to leave their wife/husband with kids bearing the brunt of a divorce/separation?

Post Birth Depression

Mothers will go through depression right after they give birth, since their hormones are all haywire, where minute or major things could affect them. It is important for mothers who get overly depressed to seek help, with someone by her side at this phase.

When the Baby Takes Up Her Time

A man needs to understand that when his wife spends too much time with the baby and forgets about his needs, that she is just doing her job as a mother.
She is bound to be attached to her little one, because how obvious is it that she has to be at the infant's beck and call for the first two years at least? This might frustrate you, but you need to know that mothers as much as fathers should concentrate on the baby once he/she is born.

Lack of Sex

You can't seriously expect her to sleep with you right after the baby is born. Her body has to resume its normal state after the changes it has been through. Yes, a baby may wail in the middle of the night, or scream for attention at 4 am, but that doesn't mean you brood over how you aren't getting sex.
When the real thing you should be worrying about is how you can help ease her troubles and be of a help when it comes to the baby. A woman in time, has to know that her man needs her, and that she can't force upon him a sexless marriage.
Women need to give men the time of day as well, even if things get rough with work and the baby. Take time out to spend some quality time with him, if he shows signs of stress.

Common Marriage Issues

There are some major red flags that shoot up every time a sign comes to the fore, and you conveniently ignore them or see these as something that shouldn't be taken too seriously. So what are the signs that hint at a marriage being on the verge of a split? How can you tell if it's on the rocks?

A Match Not Made in Heaven

Yesterday you were a happy couple, with no troubles or problems to rock your boat. Now suddenly you complain to your friends and close family, that you feel smothered, frustrated, angry, upset, and just plain old fed up with the unhappy marriage you're trapped in. So what now? Divorce?
We don't see how people pressure their partners into signing a prenuptial agreement, so that 'if' something should take place to separate the two, there's money and assets that you will get. That is why when women marry for money, men are in a pickle from the second they say, I do.
Don't snicker in agreement, men sometimes find themselves happily involved with women who are naive and have the money, where men are the complete opposite and know how to play their cards right.
No compatibility in a marriage anymore is a sad scenario that falls upon a couple, that once found things perfect in one another, and now can't stand to be in the same room with each other.

Silent Problems

Another fix married couples get into is when there is lack of communication in a marriage. No one is ready to put forward how they feel, or how things can take a turn for the better, and instead both are just wallowing in misery as the marriage deteriorates one day at a time. Talk out your problems and voice your concerns.
What's wrong with us? How can we change our situation? How do we revamp our lives to make it less excruciating? How can we spend more time and not let the kids ruin 'us' time? How do we manage to pay the bills without running into debt? How do settle our arguments without one of us slamming the door as we exit the conversation?
You have to sit down and talk these things, else you're just looking for an excuse to pack your bags and leave, with unresolved issues hanging midair. Take control of your problems like a grown up, remember what you have is not a relationship, but a marriage. This can't be over and done with like he/she were a date, but has to be worked on, to get it right.

Loveless Marriage

Sometimes, couples find themselves in a marriage that just doesn't translate into a loving one, where the two are forced to put on a fake facade to show people that, yeah, we're a happy couple. In fact, each one has a thing going for him/her, be it job obsessions or, of course, an affair on the side.
The problem here is that, one of the two has lost interest in the other, out of boredom, monotony, or from neglect. You need to know how to build trust in a marriage, and how to constantly keep things new and fresh. You can't expect to let your life and work swallow you whole, while your partner is left forlorn and alone.
Some couples feel like there's more out there than just being with this one person forever, and both are busy having affairs, while the kids are affected in the process. Find out what went wrong, and retrace your steps in the marriage, and work on it before it falls to pieces.
Coping with infidelity and divorce can help you get through this time, should it ever boil down to that. It would help you greatly if you were to seek marriage counseling, and fix what you can before it all blows up in your face.

Abuse

It's sad when couples are put into such a situation where abuse forms a part of an everyday agenda. Be it physical, mental, emotional, verbal, or substance abuse, both are affected by the constant attacks, and want to get out before either one loses his/her mind. We sympathize them who have to put up with abuse from each other, and have kids to deal with.
Some want to stay married for the sake of the kids, and others want to leave with them in order to distance them from such atrocities. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance, and seek advice about what you can do through therapy or confiding in loved ones.
Marital issues post pregnancy aren't the only things that cause families to break up, or resent one another. These surmount to the common reasons why marriages fail. It's time you did something to make it right, and work out a plan that can save your marriage.