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Factors to Consider Before Moving in Together

Suprita Biswas Jan 5, 2019
Moving in together is much more than sharing a bed; you need a lot of maturity and sensibility to take this step. Understanding the intricacies of a relationship is what will help you come out with flying colors. Let us delve into the pros and cons of living in before marriage..
"Only with you I feel happy, if you're with me all turns better, every time you kiss me I feel that I melt, and when you tell me that you love me, I feel like our souls got merged and the only thing I want to do is to stay there with you all day long."
Countless dreams, hundreds of aspirations, myriad plans, full of expectations; that is with what I walked into our new apartment, the place where we were moving in together, the both of us. He had told me previously, "Will you be mine forever? And I literally mean "FOREVER".
You are the light for me, don't keep me in darkness by staying away from me. Let's build our home together. Love you....", and it had filled my heart with the warm pain, the pain of love. I so wanted to hug him that instant..."
This is what many of them who decide to move in together have to say to give others (friends and family) an impression of the importance of a live-in relationship. But what is the purpose of moving in together without marriage? If you are not yet ready for the complete commitment, then why make a partial one?
But today, there are many who are happily married to the one they love and this, in turn, has changed the idea and attitude of people towards the idea of a ‘live-in’. So, considering this, here is an outline of what and how it works as we hope that only you can judge for yourself whether living in with your lover before marriage is good or bad.

Are You Ready?

When do you know that? Well, simple. When your heart, as well as your mind says so. Moving in without marriage is a big step, bigger than marriage itself. Our society still does not approve of living in or any such kind of relationship.
But, what the person who decides to move-in thinks is more important here. If you can get over all kinds of inhibitions, doubts and skepticism, well, you can go ahead with that one. Not that you are not answerable to the society, but once you can face yourself, you know you can face the world.
In any relationship, be it friendship, marriage, or in this case, a live-in, trust is required. There is no point in living with someone, who you think is using your body wash (that was a joke!!), or is bringing home other females in your absence (that wasn't!). Your partner must know everything about you as it helps build trust and respect.
Do not give her a shock some day by suddenly appearing in your undercover agent uniform, or come up as a terrorist (like the scenario in the movie, "From Paris with love"). Living together is a very big step and must not be taken in haste.
A couple should be completely sure of the relationship and must be ready to face all the negative consequences-heart breaks, pain, rejection-can only plan of cohabitation before marriage. There are no test drives possible in relationships. So, give your relationship time and give the thought some time. The hasty decision can cost you your relationship.

Some Cues for Success

No one can possibly guide you in achieving success in a live-in, or for that matter anything related to the heart, but a perfect blend of practicality and estimations, along with the romantic factor, can give you a perfect cuppa of a relationship.

Keep the Rule Book Aside

The first rule is, to keep the rules away when you are moving in. It is not a hostel room that you are sharing with your roommate. He is your partner, and may be, your future husband; rules do not have any meaning here.

No Trespassing

Try to know his boundaries, and do not cross them. Every individual needs his own space, and respecting that is very important. Remember, you will receive what you give. The plant of your love will die without this much-needed oxygen.

Sensibility Speaks for Itself

You are together for obvious reasons. Do not insult your relationship by being impolite, rude, or insulting.
Your partner is your soulmate, but he is also an individual who expects you to respect him. Please be sensible enough to understand that. Sort out your relationship issues with maturity.

Remember Who You Are

At no point of time should you forget what and who you are. You are an individual who has a place in the society, who has a circle of friends, and who has her personal hobbies and interests. Do not give up your individuality and identity for anything or anyone.
Especially, this advice is meant for those girls who absolutely mold themselves according to their partner after moving in with them. It's not completely wrong, but you still have to maintain your identity as an individual. If he loves you, he will understand.

Be All Ears

You definitely need this-active listening skills. For all this time you have been dating, you have spent some good hours in each others company. Spending day after day, night after night, requires you to be with her during her blues as well.
You need to listen about the fight with her colleague, and also about her discussion with her mom. Patience is a key to this; and remember that she will always be there when you need to talk and share. That would be the incentive for giving her a patient hearing.

The Reason is You

Always, constantly, keep reminding yourself the beautiful relationship that you share, the reason why you decided upon moving in, and the intensity of romance between the two of you.
The essence of a relationship is in acknowledgment. Be happy and grateful that you met your partner, and never miss out on the fun element ever.

Find Bliss in Forgiveness

A foremost rule-forgive and forget. Living together will bring in a truckload of misunderstandings initially, as you will take time to understand and adjust with each other.
During this period, forgive your partner without expecting him to forgive you the next time. Obviously, we are not telling you to kill your self-respect, but it is better that you talk it out later, and for that moment, forgive.

Expectations Can Wait

Keep the level of expectations to the minimum. It can be a bit difficult to do that, but this will surely pay off. Expectations will bring in complications, and will spoil all the efforts put in by the both of you. Obviously, expecting your partner to take a shower is pretty understandable, but too much of emotional expectations should be avoided.
God has blessed you with one life, never give yourself any chance of regret. Always remember, your life is yours and you have the maximum right over it. Do what your heart says is right. And a parting advice-be prepared for the worst. If the 'living-in concept' does not work out, don't blame yourself or your partner, don't break down and don't stop living.
The bad times will make you cry, but try to think about the memorable moments you have spent together. Meeting the one meant for you is difficult, sometimes impossible. Remember him as the one who was there for you when you needed him. Take life as it comes, and never ever stop smiling!!