However, it is a long and difficult process. When you and your ex decide to get back together, be sure to consult a counselor.
Clarify The Purpose
Try reuniting for yourself, not for your spouse's sake. Get over all the emotional baggage that you may be carrying, like shame, guilt, and self-worthlessness.
Think and clear out all the doubts in your mind. Seek counseling, and speak to someone who will guide you emotionally. Even after the guilt ride, the constant 'to do' or 'not to do' fight within yourself, if you feel like going ahead, seek reconciliation.
You and your spouse should visit a marriage and family therapist. Try visiting one who has a license, along with good references. Be open during your sessions. Admit what went wrong, and accept the changes. If you were the dominating partner before divorce, try being a little submissive now. Put in all the hard work to make it work this time.
Take each new step towards reunion slowly and cautiously. Do not rush into things or give up hope easily. The emotional turmoil in your mind may be experienced by your ex too. Try to be patient with your ex. Do not jump into conclusions which may result in another failure. Do not give in to pressure or pressurize your spouse.
Go ahead and plan a date, go for a dance, surprise each other, and get engaged again. Concentrate on the strengths of your ex, and try to overlook the weaknesses.
Do not take your partner for granted. This is your opportunity to rebuild the beautiful relationship that you and your partner dreamed about.
Make sure this time you do not commit the same mistakes that ended your marriage the first time. Do not have any doubt or second thoughts left before going ahead onto this final step.
Marriage is a beautiful relationship that unites two people for life. It should be nurtured with care and attention. Enjoy and cherish the togetherness. Divorce should be the last resort, when nothing works out, or when you are in an abusive relationship. When you reach a rough patch, silently whisper the Oath of Marriage to calm yourself:
"I, take you, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), my constant friend, my faithful partner, and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow".