Young girls can often be a tad too hasty in the matters of the heart. They often over-dramatize the happenings in their lives, and so if relationships are not handled properly, they may leave permanent scars on their minds.
Giving them sugesstions is a little tricky and complicated, with the adviser constantly treading on eggshells. So if you are a young lady, treading down newly blooming love paths, here's some relationship advice for girls that should help you out.
No advice can begin without a note on finding out whether you are emotionally capable of handling a relation. The trick of a successful relationship lies in being emotionally mature and independent. Do not develop an obsession with finding Mr. Right. You're still young, and you have a long way to go with a lot of things to learn.
The idea is to keep a neutral mind, for when you're not looking is when you're most likely to find him. Know what you want, because if you're the one confused, how can your partner not be? Only if you have set some credentials that you're looking for in your man, will you know if you've met the right one.
Varying your demands will lead you to lose 'good men' (and yes the two can be used together in one phrase). Most of the time things go wrong, not because the guy is wrong, but because you've changed your criteria.
Last, but not the least, if you do have a picture of what you want in a man, don't hold on to it like the Gospel. Be flexible, and you never know, maybe the guy you have is the perfect one for you, though he doesn't fit in with your initial criteria.
Lose The 'Adopt a Fella' Syndrome
Many young girls fall for bad boys who are lost causes. Such relations are disastrous. The problem with the female gender is that they take their nurturing abilities a bit too far. A hungry puppy, an injured bird, or an unfortunate guy, all have a capacity to pull at a girl's heartstrings.
The more you think that they need you, the more you'll get sucked into a viscous world of parasitic bonds. You do not need a clinging creeper to support, you need a man to laugh with, cry with, and love. This is not the man girl! Drop him, and drop him fast. Let them sort out their own problems, while you get back to your search of Mr. Right again.
Be Alert to the Signs
There are many subtle and not-so-subtle signs that a guy can give away when near a woman, that state his level of interest in you. Study body language, and you'll soon learn to discern the genuine from the pretense. Learn the signals, and you can stop potentially heartbreaking attachment. Don't cut him slack just because you like him.
If you see signs that he is just playing you, don't turn a blind eye towards it (girls do have this tendency to keep a man on a pedestal, and make excuses to keep him there). It is important that while you keep an eye open to look for his signs and signals, don't confuse him with conflicting ones from you.
The key advice for girls who have a crush on someone is to give it a fair shot and not color the relationship with preconceived notions of what should and shouldn't be. And yes, don't cling (easier said than done).
Let him have a life apart from you, and let him know that you have one too. No one likes constricting relations, and so, make sure that you give each other enough breathing space.
Be an Equal
Unless you have a hidden desire to be a common hausfrau who bends to his wishes at every opportunity, you need to carry yourself well in the initial stages of courtship. Talk to him as an equal. There is a thin line between assertive and affirmative. Make sure that you maintain it.
Be more than a wallflower, and make sure it is visible in everything you do. The very minute you let a man think that he can erase your voice with his, it will be very difficult to convince him otherwise. It is a genetic flaw with men, they tend to take one's offs as something that can happen all the time.
So, unless you wish to be pushed around, be yourself when you meet him (and when you're yourself make sure you tell him so), and try not to be too subservient (and if you are, don't make it a habit).
Leave Behind the Sentimental Mumbo Jumbo
Most females have a habit of considering that their guys are entirely too good for them. He is most definitely not too good for you, for you can't see how very special you are. Everyone is special in their own way. Another thing, don't go looking for that (impossible) man of your dreams.
Mostly, the guy you end up with, eventually becomes your prince charming anyway. And then, all your fairy tales will be with him as the main lead. Be a little realistic, and know that whoever you end up with, will be the one made for you, and you do not need to go out looking for him.
Here are some pointers of what you should and shouldn't do when in the early stages of a relation:
- There's just one essential rule, know what you want, and go after it with all your might.
- Don't get so involved that you lose your identity. Never change yourself for a man.
- Get a dose of reality, and listen to what your friends have to say. Sometimes, their opinions are more unbiased than yours, when you're already wearing rose-tinted glasses.
- Absolutely do not make excuses for your guy. Some things never change, so if he's chronically violent or jealous, run far away from this relation. Abuse should not be tolerated at any stage.
- If your relationship fails, and you end up with a break up on your hands, don't despair. Firstly, don't ever take it personally. Secondly, losing him won't be the end of your world. No one dies of heartbreak, and as of today, it is not listed anywhere as a fatal illness.
Hope that the given advice helps you in your relationships. With young girls, attachments and detachments are something to learn from. Take the good from every relation. Cherish the good memories, and dump the bad ones. Someday, soon, you'll meet your man, the one you need to grab, and hold on to for life. Till then, take care!