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Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

Chesley Maldonado Mar 12, 2019
It is not enough to know what makes a marriage work. You need to know what kills it too.
Here is a list of things that can truly sabotage a marriage. Some of these things might not seem like they can cause damage in a relationship right away, but sooner or later they do begin to affect. If you find yourself doing any of these things, find a way to fix the problem before you need a lawyer.

No Communication

It seems almost cliché to say that good communication is important, but it is. 
You have to talk to each other about how you feel, what your opinions are, your likes, dislikes, fears, and dreams. In order to get along well and know each other as intimately as a married couple should, you have to talk openly and honestly.

Being Selfish

Thinking only about yourself, your needs, desires, and issues can cause problems. Once you get married, the "I" becomes a "We." Be considerate of the other person's needs, wants, and feelings. When in doubt, ask, and never assume that you already know the answers to those questions.

Holding Grudges

Hurt can quickly turn to anger, and anger can turn to bitterness just as fast. Work through the hurt and anger and forgive them. Being angry under the surface will only hurt you more in the end.
Talk to your partner and work to resolve the issue. Letting go of the offense will keep your relationship close and more enjoyable.

Cheating on Your Spouse

It should go without saying that you shouldn't have sex with other people. You shouldn't be intimately kissing other people. Flirtation and emotional games can cross the fine line, but what is acceptable should be between both your spouse and you.
If you are doing something with someone else that you know your partner would not like, you are cheating and you need to stop immediately.

Being Available All the Time

You are married and you probably see each other everyday as part of the daily grind. When the work is done, it is good to spend some good quality time together. It is not good; however, to spend all of your free time with them. 
Dive into a hobby that they don't have too much interest in but you love, hang out with friends, or just relax alone. Like they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Be unavailable once in a while, and it will bring the spark back when you do get together.

No Compromising

Marriage is all about give and take. Making "deals" with your spouse should be a regular thing. Each of you should feel free to express what you want and you should take turns on who gets it their way "this time." 
Also, with some decisions you can opt for something that you both can agree on, or work things out so that both of you get your way.

Ruining the Finances

Irresponsible shopping can lead to major problems. We recommend joint accounts (because you have to trust one another), and you should have regular, open conversations (not fights) about spending habits. Compromise really kicks in here. 
Don't make the mistake of making major financial decisions without them (anything more than USD 500 is major unless you are both making money in six figures or have no debts and plenty of savings).

No Sex

You should have sex on a regular basis. It could just be a little quickie. This is especially fulfilling and intimate after a good day or an evening of quality time, especially if you get together after spending time apart.
It is important to connect emotionally, spiritually, and physically because that enhances the entire experience.

Displaying Jealousy

If you are insecure and feel that everyone wants your spouse or that your spouse wants everyone else, think again. They married you, give them a little credit for that. 
Your confidence in yourself and your expressed trust in your spouse will make you more attractive to them. Always give them the benefit of doubt unless there is reasonable suspicion. The fact that you don't think you're good enough probably isn't a reasonable suspicion.

Falling in Love with Someone Else

This is cheating, but it is different from having a one night stand. You should be in control of your emotions and your hormones, not the other way round. You can help who you fall for, believe it or not.
Remember why you married your spouse, and trust that they will give you more of what you want than anyone else. That other person might seem like everything, but that is only because they offer one or two things that your spouse doesn't. In the end, it is not a good deal to settle for two things that you want and sacrifice the things that you already have.
Those are the ten marriage killers. Try to steer clear of them, and your marriage will probably be good. Not perfect, but good.