In the beginning, it's all love. However, as time passes, romance takes a back seat and people get caught in fulfilling obligations for the family. All the problems of adjustment and compromise start arising. Under the pressure of work and home, couples often fail to communicate properly with each other. This is where they start to drift apart, which often makes people consider divorce. However, separating from one's spouse is a traumatic experience, and most couples look for tips to save their marriage.
Here are a few measures that will be helpful for you in facing marital problems:
Communicate - Talk and Listen
Proper communication is one of the most important tips to save a married couple from divorce. Most of the problems arise because a spouse doesn't understand what the other partner wants. There are things that you might expect your spouse to understand without you mentioning them. At other times, he might have not heard what you said. Tell him what you want. He loves you. However, at the same time, he might act stubborn. Reason out with him. One stands a better chance talking it out with his partner rather than sulking in silence.
Deal with Problems Proactively
Some problems can be as small as picking up the child from school, or more serious issues related to managing finances of the family. Sit down and analyze the problem. Discuss how much time and energy each one can invest in shouldering responsibilities of the family, and draw out a plan on how to meet these needs.
Actions Speaks Louder than Words
It is important to LISTEN to one's spouse. However, don't just listen and sit on it. Once you have understood his/her problem, see what steps can be taken to resolve the conflict. This would reflect one's love for his/her partner, which is a basic ingredient for a healthy relationship, let alone marriage. This attitude can surely save the marriage.
Spend Time with Each Other
The pressure of meeting career demands and ensuring financial security for the family leaves one with very little time for his/her spouse. Lack of time is one of the most common causes and reasons for divorce. One has to make a conscious effort to spend time with his/her partner. Even when you want to relax, sit or lie down beside him or ask him to sit with you. Talk with him during this time. Ask him simple questions like what happened in the office that day. He might be reluctant and aloof. However, if you persist, he is sure to come around.
Pep up Your Married Life
Most couples do not realize it, but lack of excitement is one of the major issues as to why marriages fail. Think of the things that you did together in the initial years of your relationship. Recall each others interests. Go out for a short vacation together. What about going out on a date together? Get tickets for this season's baseball match, go shopping, or to the opera depending upon your spouse's likes. Add that excitement to your married life. Many couples have realized that bringing excitement into their lives have helped them to see each other with renewed interest.
When one's marriage is going through a rough patch, there would be a lot people with all sorts of relationship advice. While many of them would be useful, it is for one to decide which one stands in his/her best interest. Don't be swayed by what family and friends have to say. There may be some, who due to personal interest might give wrong advice on purpose. Learn to identify well-wishers. A better option is to go for marriage counseling. These are trained professionals who are capable of viewing the problems in an objective way and provide valuable suggestions. For self-help, refer to books on marriage and divorce. The internet is also full of information on this subject.
It is important to realize that problems were not caused overnight. Hence, expecting them to go away quickly is a mistake. Patience is one of the very important tips to save a breaking marriage. When a couple considers divorce, it indicates that considerable damage has been done to their relationship. One might not be ready to cooperate and take efforts that might save the marriage. In such a scenario, it is important to give one's partner some time. Showing frustration or dissatisfaction towards one's partner may make matters worse.
Most of the marriages suffer due to misunderstanding between couples. Change in the attitude of the couple is necessary. Souring of a relationship may make reconciliation difficult. However, forget all the bitterness that may have cropped up between you two. Recall the love for each other and start afresh.