Tap to Read ➤

Why Do People Cheat

Omkar Phatak Mar 3, 2019
What are the reasons that lead to infidelity in relationships? Here's a perspective on the subject.
Nothing can ever hurt more than a partner cheating on you. As the sense of betrayal sinks in, you doubt whether you will be able to trust anybody ever again. We see relationships falling apart, all around us, due to cheating and dishonesty. Why are people prone to adultery? That's the question which haunts us at such times.
Cheating on a person with whom you are in a relationship can never be justified. It destroys the very foundation of a relationship, which is trust. Still people do cheat and when they do, the effects on a partner can be shattering.
After the immediate shock and subsequent rage that sets in, what overwhelms one is the 'Why?'. Where did you go wrong? Self doubt creeps in and one starts exploring the reasons for the infidelity.

What Makes People Cheat in Relationships?

You may ask, how many people cheat and why they do so. Well, as far as the number is concerned, it is steadily rising as more and more divorce cases are coming up with infidelity, as the prime reason. Cheating and infidelity not only destroy two lives, they affect the whole family, including children.
As the children grow up seeing their parents part ways, their sense of belief in the idea of marriage, love, and relationships gets increasingly cynical. Psychologists have tried to find an answer to this question. Here are some of the real reasons.

Emotional Insufficiency

One of the prime reasons is the lack of emotional sufficiency. For some, it is just because they no longer feel loved in a relationship. After some years in a marriage, some couples simply lose the spark that once charged up their life. Though, there is financial stability, both or one of them gets increasingly involved in work life and bringing up children.
Putting food on the table becomes more important than bringing in love. They fail to provide each other with time to understand their feelings, have a meaningful conversation, and appreciate each other.
At such times, it is not surprising if the coldness and lack of emotional sufficiency, ultimately drives one of them to find solace in the company of someone else, who understands them better.
A more subtle kind is emotional cheating, which many women and men indulge in, when they may find comfort in conversation and interaction with a colleague or an acquaintance. They may think surreptitiously about this person, even when they are in a serious relationship with another.

Lack of Physical Intimacy

Another top reason is the lack of physical intimacy. This may be the case with women too, but it is more prominent in men. Need for sex leads some men to cheat on their spouses. Such behavior is prominent among men with an impulsive nature, who are hardly fit for being in a relationship and do not understand the importance of loyalty and commitment.
Promiscuity is the most common reason. While a married woman has graduated to a bigger role of a mother and sex, if not absent, becomes rarer, some men will just go to any lengths to have sex. While the old adage of 'boys will be boys' seems like a convenient belief in a man's world, it has shattered and broken many families apart.
Such promiscuous men make bad husbands and bad fathers. However, it is surprising how many women will put up with such men, despite this and continue with a marriage which is a sad joke at best. Of course, women too find themselves going elsewhere for satisfaction, out of purely physical and unsatisfied needs in a marriage or relationship.

Mid-Life Crisis

The much romanticized mid-life crisis is the reason why many men engage in adultery. Some men and women are purely driven to have an affair by the need of adventure and need to feel young again. It is difficult to explain, but the need for adventure and excitement in life, simply overcomes the sensibility of such people.
People do all sorts of crazy things in this phase. Some do regret this later, but it is simply too late at times, as their marriage and family are already torn apart.

Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment has been revealed through research as a reason that drives people to commit adultery. Such people have a tendency to push people away from them, as they find it uncomfortable to be too intimate with any one person. They cheat to make it easier for them to push their partner away.
Sexual addiction, alcoholism, and drugs may also cause a person to cheat. What leads people to adultery is either emptiness or a pursuit of pure pleasure. The former is understandable but the latter is inexcusable.
If only a person thinks rationally, understands what it means to be in love and considers how much a person is invested in him, he will never follow the path of infidelity. If you find yourself yielding to the temptation, just ask yourself, 'Is it really worth it?'
It is really a question of what leads to emotional insufficiency in a relationship, that drives people to seek solace elsewhere. Some people who cheat are just plain old jerks who were never fit to be in a relationship in the first place but some engage in it because they simply give up hope, as the love that once tied them to their partner, has faded away.
However, the betrayed partner need not lose hope, as there will be new beginnings. It will be tough to get over the betrayal, but you will make peace with the fact one day. A day will come, when the one who lost you, will rue the fact and will surely repent.