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Why is it So Hard to Forget Your First Love? Coz First is FIRST!

Why is it So Hard to Forget Your First Love?
First love―the very first time you opened your heart to anybody else, the first time you allowed anyone to come so close, the first time you attached your hopes and dreams with someone else; truly, first love is unforgettable! We give you 10 reasons as to why is it so hard to forget your first love.
Shalu Bhatti
Last Updated: Feb 28, 2018
"Something about first love defies duplication. Before it, your heart is blank. Unwritten. After, the walls are left inscribed and graffitied. When it ends, no amount of scrubbing will purge the scrawled oaths and sketched images, but sooner or later, you find that there's space for someone else, between the words and in the margins."
― Tammara Webber, Where You Are
For most of you, the aforementioned quote says it all, accurately putting into words what happens when the heart breaks after it truly loved someone for the very first time! At times, you may blame a poor memory for missing out on the important dates in life, but, why is it that this very memory doesn't fail you when it comes to the memories associated with your first love? Why does it become next to impossible to forget that one person for whom your emotions flowed out in their purest form?

Maybe now you don't view love in those rose-colored glasses that you once wore, when you first experienced the feeling of being in love, but, the feeling itself of seeing life with that first person who gave you those glasses, is irreplaceable. It wouldn't be wrong to say that back then, it felt like you were living in a dream, a dream where everything was right, everything was beautiful, everything was just like your favorite romantic novel, or your favorite love story, except, it didn't have the much-anticipated happily ever after. No matter how it ended, it still feels as if there is an unbreakable connection, an unfulfilled desire that rekindles itself from time to time, doesn't it? Then, can you say, that you have truly moved on?
Why is Your First Love Unforgettable?
... because it was among the 'firsts' of your life, and firsts are the things that you never forget. Think about it, can you forget the first time you rode a bike, a car? The first time you bunked school, or the first time you did anything significant in life, can you ever forget it? Those memories are priceless and are permanently registered in our minds because along with them came the feelings, emotions, hormone boosts, that were unfamiliar before. The first feelings associated with love, the blushing, nervousness, uncertainty, etc., that you experienced, have been linked to the one you first felt it all for. As much as you'd want to forget about your first love, the truth is that if it wasn't for that experience, you wouldn't be the person you are today. The following section gives you 10 reasons that makes the forgetting part all the more difficult ...
It was the first intense feeling for someone outside family
Before you entered the zone of dating, love, and relationships, the only sincere and strong feelings that were a part of your life were confined to your family. But, when you gave your heart to someone, when you first loved someone, it made your feelings flow out to an altogether different boundary, to someone you chose to be an integral part of your existence. This is one strong reason why it becomes difficult to forget your first boyfriend/girlfriend ... because he/she was the first one you genuinely felt for, truly, madly, deeply.
It was euphoric and carefree
You didn't only feel for this person, but the feelings were truly euphoric! You were newly exposed to the whole being-in-love arena, fighting against all those who prevented you to be a part of this newly-discovered phase of life, a phase that had love, that had a sense of magic, enthusiasm, hope, and carefreeness in it. That love didn't think of the logical things, such as the standard of living he/she had, the financial security, and other such things that dominate the dating world today. All that love had was genuine likeness and concern that came from a deep sense of connection that your heart and mind had with your lover's. That euphoria and carefreeness is seldom felt in any other relationship, but one must never cease to hope!
It was perhaps the most innocent and pure form of love
Innocence and purity is what love should ideally contain, and of course it did contain it all, at least when you first loved! Your relationship was all about being with each other, as if you've found your best friend, someone whose presence around you would make the worries of home seem nothing, or the pressure of excelling in exams seem unnecessary. The tenderness, purity, unconditional wishing for the happiness of the other ... all this is something that is rarely found in a grown-up love! To bring that innocence back in your demeanor, back in your love life isn't easy, no matter how much you miss it. Perhaps, this is another reason why your first love is so special to be forgotten.
It was your first exposure to insecurities
There is no other feeling as powerful as love, if it has the power to bring out the best in you, it can also bring out your insecurities. In the loving, safe, and secured environment of the house, you hardly have any reason to be insecure, hence, before you began dating, you never came across such a feeling. However, because you not only dated this person, you also loved him/her, your first relationship introduced your psyche to all these new feelings: Jealously, possessiveness, the you're-only-mine attitude! All these sensations and notions ended up making your first love an unforgettable harbinger of these unpleasant/pleasant facets in your life.
It was the first time you thought of someone else more than yourself
The elated feeling of being in love is as delusional as it is real. Especially, when you're new to it, it feels as if your whole life revolves around that person. Before this relationship, you thought of your family, your wellness, but after, as if you and your family became secondary, and he/she became the primary reason of your existence. Your entire schedule revolved around your lover, when you'll get up, when you'll sleep, if you'll go to the mall, what you'll do on the weekend ..., absolutely everything! This person was the first one to become a part of your dreams as well as reality, which is why the impact of him/her is still unceasing. Most likely, once in a while, you'll always want to find out what he/she is up to lately, through Facebook, common friends, or any other source!
You attached all your dreams and hopes with your first love
When you love someone, especially when you love someone for the first time, in a tender age like adolescence or preteens, you tend to trust easily, you tend to open your heart to your love like all your dreams and hopes were meant to be shared with him/her. Most likely, you planned your present according to your love, even your future was supposed to be in sync with him/her. Invariably, you attached your existence with your first love, and perhaps it was the first and last time you dared to do that. Maybe you haven't been able to be that honest with anyone else after that, and that is what you miss in your current relationships, subconsciously comparing it with your first love, and not giving complete trust a chance .... Therefore, your first love becomes unforgettable.
Those kisses, cuddles, late-night talks, and evening strolls never came back
Your first love was the first time you truly kissed, when you genuinely cuddled, when you sacrificed your sleep just to have a night-long conversation of sweet nothings, when you would happily accept your mom's scolding just to take a romantic stroll with him/her, holding hands and watching the stars in the sky. Perhaps, he/she was also the first one you made love to. Aren't the memories absolutely priceless, yet hurtful? But as you moved on from one relationship to another, reviving from one heartbreak to the next, you never really experienced these events in the same manner. The kisses seemed stale, the walks were tiresome ... Not like how it was back then.
Subconsciously, you tend to compare all your lovers with him/her
The trait that makes humans remarkable beings is that they tend to move on even after the biggest blows of life. When it comes to finding love again, most of you move on, find new lovers, date, breakup, date again ... and life goes on. However, consciously or subconsciously, you have set a criterion of what you want or don't want in your lover, or what your lover should make you feel like, a lot (or not) like your first love? This comparison is what makes you not forget your first love.
Your first love has molded you into the person you are now
As mentioned earlier, the firsts of your life form everlasting impressions, especially if you have not been able to overcome these. For instance, if the first time you drove a car and it caused a major accident, you would always have that fear or cautiousness within, when you drive a car in the future. Same theory lies in this case too. The failure of your first love tends to alter your beliefs and, most importantly, alter your personality when it comes to love and relationships. Because you tend to carry on with life having these "first-love-induced notions" in mind, you in a way attach the memories of your first love with you, and never really allow yourself to be independent of the bygones.
Perhaps that was the only time you believed in true love!
When you actually labeled this guy as your prince charming, or this girl as your dream princess, everything seemed as if in movies and stories, even better maybe. Everything seemed as if conspired by heaven. When something as surreal and true as this feeling shatters, when someone whom you shared such a pure connection with can break your heart, you cease to believe in the whole concept of love. This is normal, but not the right thing to do. Have you ever thought of it, that maybe, just maybe, love is waiting for you if you open yourself to finding it once again? Perhaps you just need to view life with a new outlook.
We think that first love is pretty much like the "rite of passage" that comes in almost everyone's life. It exposes us to vulnerability and, in the process, helps us "grow up." If you think about it, there is no need to forget about the whole experience; either nourishing or shattering, it did refine or polish you into a better human being, and this you must be grateful for. Thank this person for what he/she made you, learn from the whole experience, take it in your stride, and move on to find someone who will come into your life and will never let you go. Cheers to finding a happily ever after!
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