Flowers, chocolates, forehead kisses, or a simple, “are you ok?” There are so many different ways to say I love you. In this day and age, we’ve distanced away from simple gestures and thoughtful words and strayed towards money and material things. This has been causing anger, confusion, and insecurities in relationships for the last decade. And ultimately, this has resulted in separation, fake love, or a love that just never seems to last.
And for that reason, we’re here to discuss a little secret known as the 5 love languages. This concept was first introduced in the book “The 5 Love Languages” by world-reknown marriage counselor Gary Chapman. The basis is that there are 5 different ways we all express our love to someone and that one of these languages will resonate with us individually. However, we should strive to put all 5 into play in order to find true love and happiness.
Words of Affirmation
The first of the 5 love languages is words of affirmation. Gary Chapman explains that simple gestures, such as thanking your partner for cleaning the house or telling your partner how proud you are of them, can go a long way. And although it may seem mundane, recognition and appreciation are huge in a relationship. It shows your partner that you value them for who they are and what they bring to your relationship. Without words of affirmation, there can be a lack of happiness, and, therefore, a lack of love.
We also have an article all about words of affirmations called, “Simple and Sweet Words of Affirmation for Your Love” that can give you additional guidance in showing your partner they are valued.
Acts of Service
The next love language is known as acts of service. This is the language that demonstrates actions speak louder than words. Gifts and words are cast aside, and love is shown through actions instead. This could be cooking a surprise meal for your lover, cleaning the house while your partner is at work, picking up the kids from school so your partner can relax, and so forth. Thinking about ways to make the life of the one you love easier without them having to ask will help your partner to feel valued, love, and cared for above all else.
The third love language is receiving gifts. While you may assume that this means expensive jewelry, actually, it’s more about small, thoughtful gifts. This could be picking up your partner’s favorite food while you’re out, or surprising them with a bouquet of flowers. Truly, it’s the thought that counts, and this will let your partner know that they are always on your mind even when they are not with you. And that, in itself, is special.
The fourth love language is quality time. This language is all about being attentive and supportive. Let’s be honest; nothing irks us more than when we’re trying to talk to our partner about something, and they’re scrolling on their phone. Quality time emphasizes being present with your partner for all your conversations and moments. Turning your phone off and watching a movie, going for a picnic on the beach, or even to a nice dinner. Focusing on only your partner will help them to feel loved and appreciated.
And lastly, we have the love language of physical touch. While many associate sex and intimacy with physical touch, this love language has more depth than that. This is a language that values hand-holding, hugs, cuddles, and kisses above all else. It shows that physical touch isn’t all about sex, but can be more innocent, tender, and simplistic. For a partner that connects mainly with this love language, they will feel most connected when they are secure, safe, and comfortable in your arms, so don’t be afraid to show them affection.
What is Your Love Language?
It’s actually very simple to determine your own love language. Your individual love language truly depends on what your values are.
Let’s be honest, everyone has their own unique way of showing people they care for them. You need to decide if the way you feel most valued is through words, acts, gifts, touch, or time together. Once you determine your own values, you and your partner can sit down and discuss both of your love languages Use that discussion to strengthen your relationship. A relationship built off values will be much stronger and happier than any other.
In conclusion, no matter your love language, working to incorporate all of these into your relationship should definitely be the goal. Remember, love is patient, love is simple, and love has no judgment. So take your time, learn to love who you are and who your partner is inside out, and we think you’ll find these love languages will begin to come naturally. When they do, it will be the most meaningful, tender, and passionate love you’ll ever have.
To learn more about how to show someone you love them in other ways, check out our article, “5 Ways to Show Your Partner You Care”.