It is very hard to break up with someone. It is even harder to break up amicably. Here are a few tips which throw light on how to break up with someone gracefully.
Relationships will not always turn out the way people expect them to. Problems inevitably occur, and while some couples try to patch things up, sometimes, the only solution left is breaking up. Unfortunately, breaking up to end problems in a relationship can result to more problems. Since breaking up can lead to emotional stresses like depression and the lowering of one’s self-esteem, it is best to be considerate of the feelings of one’s partner.
While there is a song that says “there’s just no easy way to break somebody’s heart,” there should at least be an ethical or considerate way to do it. Here, we will attempt to help you learn how to break up with someone without making the other person feel too miserable.
Reasons for Breaking Up with Someone
When we meet someone, during the initial days we are all ga-ga over them. However, as the relationship matures, one begins to see the other side of a person. This is the time when one begins to see their faults and differences. At one point of time, a person feels the best thing to do is break up. Some of the common reasons for this are as follows.
Falling Out of Love
If people fall in love, they can fall out of love. And falling out of love is just one of the reasons why people choose to end their relationship. It is especially hard for long relationships where a strong bond has been formed by the partners. It can be really painful to wake up one day and realize that you do not have the same feelings for your partner like you used to. There are other reasons like incompatibility, the need for individualism, and the always sensational third-party.
Broken Heart That Cannot Be Put Back Together Again
Of course, one would not have been in that relationship, if he or she never cared for the partner. If one feels like ending a relationship, he/she must take time to think about it. Once you hurt a person by deciding to break up, you can never take that back again. Be sure each of you has exhausted all means to fix the relationship. When one feels that there is no better way, then that is the only time to decide to break up.
Easy Way Out
Once the decision is final, then it should be done. It hurts to break up but it hurts more to find out that your partner has long had intentions of breaking up with you but could not bring him/herself to do it. Staying in a relationship just for being in it is a waste of time. But it definitely does not mean that one should take the easy way out.
It is utterly unacceptable to just disappear. It gives the person additional things to worry about. Aside from the pain brought about by rejection, there is the confusion of being left out just like that. People need closure to move on. It can give unnecessary stress to a person and may inhibit the possibility of future romances.
Dropping the Bomb
When the time to end the relationship comes, prepare yourself and plan it. Remember, there is always the possibility of inflicting pain to a person you used to (or still) care about.
Don’t Text or Email
Plan when and where you should tell the person of your intention to break up. Do not just call, text, or email the person that you want to break up with. That will be horrible and can show disrespect to the person’s feelings.
Give a Valid and Honest Explanation
Be ready with your reason. If somebody is going to break up with me, I at least would like to know why. There is no need to construct a nice movie-line type of reason. It is better to be honest. You have chosen to leave the person; you owe him/her at least the truth. Because once they find out that you just gave excuses, then you might lose respect for each other.
State Your Future Intentions
Be clear with your intentions. Do not say “I just need some time off” if you really mean permanent goodbye. This will give the person false hopes. If it is absolutely over, then let him/her know. If you don’t, they might try things to win you back, wasting time, effort, and emotions.
Let the Bygones be Bygones
It is totally unnecessary to make a litany of the things you did not like about your partner, as this may only lead to a heated argument. It is horrible enough that you are calling it quits, but it is even more terrible if you start bringing up mistakes from the past and other unpleasant situations.
Make it Quick and Clear Out
Do not make the breakup longer than it is supposed to. It might only gear towards more misunderstandings, serious arguing and yes, physical attacks. Consider how hurt the person might be. So, if you feel he/she has to be left alone already then do not linger anymore. It is going to be like torture.
Give Them Time
And, do not expect your ex-partner to be friends with you immediately. Just because it is okay with you does not mean that it is okay with them. It will take some time before a person, after being broken up with, to be ready for friendship.
Keep in mind the things you say when breaking up with someone, do not hurt the other person. Avoid using words such as ‘dumping you’. You need to end the relationship gracefully and use words that get the idea across without emotionally tearing someone apart. Put yourself in their shoes. Behave the way you would want someone to behave with you, when breaking up with you. Always remember one thing; the simplest and most significant rule is ‘Respect’; because that will help everything fall in place.