Trust is the foundation of any relationship. The moment there are trust issues, a relationship becomes vulnerable; and then it doesn’t take much time to fall apart. In cases, where one of the partners becomes too protective or suspicious, it becomes imperative for the other to hold it and sail through all the suspicion. Talk… love… and care.
“Who are you talking to late at night?”…”Why didn’t you pick my call?”…”Why did the lady next door smile at you? Are you doing something behind my back?”
If these questions are bombarded at you quite often, you have come to the right place to seek advice. Trust and deception are probably the two deciding factors of a relationship. While the former can make it, the latter can ruin it. Nobody remains happy in a relationship where one has to deal with a hell of a lot of suspicion quite frequently.
There can be many reasons for this suspicion
- You are actually cheating on your partner, and he/she has solid reasons to question you, which is quite obvious.
- You are absolutely committed to your partner. But you are extremely affable to everyone you meet, which can sometimes be misconstrued as being a bit flirty.
- You are absolutely committed (read: devoted) to your partner. And, you don’t talk to lot many people too, as you are very scared of your significant other who has some serious problem of being overly suspicious all the time.
Well, if you are tired of being on the radar every time and can’t stand the relationship anymore, it is time you call it quits. But, if you really love your partner and want to take the extra effort of saving the relationship, here are some tips to deal with a suspicious partner.
Listen to what they have to say
Listen to your partner’s concerns and feelings about you. What are their fears and why? A lot many times, we tend to overlook minute shortcomings of ours. It happens so unconsciously that we never realize what the other person might feel.
Talk to them
As much as listening is important, so is speaking. Explain your feelings and actions to your partner. Let them know how important they are to you, and help them see things differently. Take them into confidence and help strengthening the bond of trust. Honestly, communication can help in mending a lot of relationship defects.
Don’t try to be defensive
Your reason to be defensive can become offensive for your partner and can further severe the relationship. It will act like fanning the flame. Instead, let them vent out and seek for some apt time to respond. At times, he/she can really be too much but remain calm. Lao Tzu said, “Silence is a source of great strength.“
Reflect on your actions
If you know, that your partner is protective of you and doesn’t like you being close to the opposite sex (may be some specific people), try to consider their feelings. This way their insecurities would lower a bit and bring you some peace.
Make yourself more available
Try to bring yourself at their disposal quite often. Spend some time with your partner and try to be what you were during the dating days. Love and emotionally support them. Be sympathetic towards them. Try to understand them. Be appreciative of them and their feelings. This will greatly help you in gaining their confidence.
Have common friends
It is always advisable to make your partner a part of your friend circle, as it keeps them at ease. Friends, this way can act as a great medium to reconcile your relationship. Both of you can seek their advice whenever you feel uncomfortable to encounter each other for may be the silliest of concerns. After all, what are friends for?
Don’t let yourself get affected
Amid all the suspicion and misunderstandings, never let yourself get down with it. Try to be the anchor of the relationship you want to keep sailing all your life. Your sanity and prudence will remain highly critical in re-establishing the foundations of love and trust in your relationship.
Seek counseling (in extreme cases)
One has to understand that this suspicious attitude is not always some vicious trait of your partner that has cropped up recently. They might be suffering from deeply ingrained insecurities acquired during childhood possibly due to acute feelings of insecurity and fears acquired from over-controlling, unloving or unpredictable relationship with parents or care givers. For some, it is congenital. In such cases it is advisable to consult an expert.
“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. … Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.“
– Bob Marley