Issues in marriages are inevitable and keep cropping up now and then. However, a knowledge of the common marriage problems and solutions for them prepare us to deal with situations better. If you wish to avoid most marriage problems, ask yourself the question "Am I ready for marriage?" before taking your vows. Many of us rush into the institution just because we feel that we are running past the right age for marriage, while others commit to the relationship because all their friends are doing the same!
The best way to avoid marital problems is to enter into the institution only when you feel that you have found your soulmate and are ready to fulfill the responsibilities and obligations that come with it. Despite this measure, couples go through a number of relationship problems. Some common problems in a marriage and their solutions are discussed in the following lines of this article.
Once we are married, we definitely assume that our spouse is our friend for life. However, do you feel lonely despite being married for quite a few years now? Is it that when you need to talk, your spouse is not the first one that springs to your mind? Do you and your spouse feel the urge to go on vacations separately? If the answer to all these questions is 'yes', then you definitely know where you are heading! It isn't that marriage is bliss all the time. Small relationship issues just keep cropping up every now and then.
However, major problems usually start as inconsequential ones which if not recognized and corrected on time, may become severe enough to deal that final blow to one's relationship. Here are some common marriage related problems and the ways to deal with them.
List of Problems and Solutions
- Marriage is a lot about love, certainly, but other elements do play a part too.
- Feelings and respect for the other are definitely the most important aspects of any relationship, be it marriage or friendship. However, let's be realistic, money does play a big role in today's world.
- While some believe in spending it to fulfill each and every desire, some of us are more comfortable with the thought that we have saved enough for the future.
- In her 2nd memoir, 'Committed', Elizabeth Gilbert states that nothing breaks a home more than a financial crunch. She has certainly got this right.
- The best solution about this problem is to talk about this aspect in detail before committing to marriage and be clear about whether you and your partner will be able to work around the issue.
- It also helps for engaged couples to discuss financial responsibilities that each would shoulder after getting married, as this is another question regarding money that can cause bitterness between couples.
- These are some of the common, very apparent marriage problems. However, sometimes money is not the cause of rift in a relationship, but the medium that indicates other deeper problems. For example, in many cases, financial issues reflect other much deeper problems, like power struggle and differences in values.
- Yes, handling 'in-laws' is the inevitable and the most difficult fact of marriage.
- The problem again lies in the fact that our values and beliefs differ from each other and more diverse the background of each partner, greater are the adjustment issues.
- These problems become more severe in case of in-laws because of the generation gap.
- The second reason of rift with in-laws is the fact that most of us lack the same level of understanding with our in-laws that we have with our spouse.
- This further makes adjustment with them more difficult. The best solution to this marriage problem is to be ready to listen, forget, and forgive.
- Your spouse changes himself to some extent, but he definitely can't have a new set of parents! However, if you want to keep the in-laws problem at bay, then the best that you can do is start working on it right from the beginning.
- Don't commit more than you can deliver. Don't go overboard trying to please your in-laws.
- Whenever possible, communicate to them in a firm, yet polite way about your limits.
- Every parent knows that things won't be the same with their children once they get married, and most are open to these changes.
- However, it is you who can prevent them from resenting the changes. It all depends on how you convey the message.
- But before this, one important marriage advice for women and men alike is that they should decide the limits to which they would allow their parents' interference in their lives.
- With the joys of a child, comes another potential cause for rift in marriage.
- Children in the family mean added responsibilities, emotional as well as financial.
- As the family expands, it sees changes in the roles of the couples. They have less time to spend together and more worries, like taking children to the doctor, picking them up from school, and attending their games of soccer.
- The best solution for this is to be sure about when one wants to have children. It is important that both parents are ready when they plan for a baby.
Chores of the Family
- The honeymoon usually lasts a couple of months and then there is the fact of sharing responsibilities of one's own family. And there is always the possibility of things not going your way, because now there is hardly anything around the house that is personal.
- Paying bills, doing the laundry, etc., sound like paltry chores, but if this is how you continue to feel about these jobs throughout your married life, then congratulations! You are one of those lucky ones because believe me, it is small chores that take a toll on many couples.
- One of the tips for a healthy marriage that would help you to deal with this marital problem is to be ready to divide the responsibilities equally with your spouse.
- You also need to be flexible in doing what your spouse ought to have done but could not for some reason - however serious or inconsequential that might be.
Unmet Emotional Needs
- Money, in-laws, children, and daily responsibilities are all different aspects of marriage. However, they came in the picture because two individuals commit to love and take care of each other.
- If they fail to fulfill this promise, then the whole institution will collapse. Just as the problems can be serious if couples fail to connect emotionally, with strong emotional bonds, every problem of a married life can be dealt with.
- Trust and communication are crucial for couples to understand each other, and once they do that, they can find a solution to whatever challenge life throws their way.
Marriages may be made in heaven, but we have to make them work out here, on earth. Every couple faces marriage problems and solutions are something that can be easily found if they love and trust each other.