"Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys."
― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven
― Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven
That first kiss, the first walk, that first date ... you remember them, right? These were the very moments that helped you build your relationship. But what happened after that? Just like these small moments, certain situations can evoke seamless love for your partner, or you may feel a lack of attraction towards him/her. These are the moments when either of you start acting "differently," and the relationship status is under threat! It is important to handle each of these moments carefully to have a long-lasting, loving relationship. Buzzle has put together a few delicate yet important make-or-break moments in relationships that you need to handle carefully.
The first meeting says it all. It's for the very first time we meet our future partners, and words said at this meeting can be decisive regarding the fate of the relationship. You can go overboard and completely dominate the entire conversation, or you can give equal amount of chance to the other person to speak up. Don't simply say things to impress the other person; speak up to show that the moment really matters to you.
Uttering Those Three Words
Those three magical words can take your breath away. Saying "I Love You" will take the relationship to a completely new level. But there is always a risk of rejection involved in this. The reaction your crush gives will be decisive. He/she can take their sweet little time to reply to you or promptly reject the proposal. I would say that if the relationship has to start or end, the "love" factor is very important. When someone is asked out, he/she might be taken by surprise for a moment, but if you get a "Uh? Really? You love me?" reaction, it says it all.
Everyone remembers their first kiss. But how many remember those awkward moments just before you share a kiss? The first kiss is not the one to look for, but it is the passion in the couple's eyes that makes all the difference. If there isn't any passion, then the kiss is nothing more than a momentary outburst of feelings. Also, the seconds after the kiss are very important. Keep looking for those small hints after the kiss.
Long drives are synonymous to romantic drives. Those moments spent when the two of you are speeding your way through beautiful evenings are the most cherished ones. Whether the guy actually considers your choice of destination and route can say a lot about his character. If your partner is imposing his driving decisions on you, this can be a turn-off. Also, see for yourself whom the driving partner trusts―you or the GPS?
One of the most important announcements that a couple can make is about their relationship status. To inform family and friends about them being a couple, means taking the relationship forward. However, most people fumble at this moment. Either they are happy about their relationship being a private affair, or are scared about the reactions that they would receive after making the announcement. Whatever be the reason, if you are in a relationship that should remain a secret, you better step out of it.
Doing the Talking
Talking to your partner about anything and everything under the sun enhances the relationship. The closeness in the relationship increases when they share their life experiences. Men often don't have much to talk about. They are generally known to talk less, and many of them don't open up. This can create a wrong impression in the other partner's mind, and a small thing like "talking" can ruin the relationship.
Seeing the "Other" Side
Once in a relationship, you think you know everything about your partner. But then you face the moment of truth, when you are introduced to the other side of your partner―one that was unknown to you. He/she can be a different person altogether when in the company of friends. The manner in which you are treated in the company of others, plays a very important role in deciding the future of the relationship.
The Big Leap
You both had decided to take the intimacy in the relationship forward and got physical. For anyone in a relationship, this is a big leap. The morning after "the" night is very important. If you view the entire episode as "just another one" or "regret doing it", it can prove fatal for your relationship. Don't rush to take this step, unless you are really sure about your partner, as this is the very moment when most relationships falter.
Telling a Little Lie
Guys, a lie is a lie! There is no such thing as a small or big lie. People lie when they feel that the truth might not be taken in a positive light. The lie may be said to save the relationship; however, any lie may reflect a degree of lack of trust in the partner. And you will never know when your little lie can turn into a big one. Regardless of it, when the partner is caught lying, the trust is lost, and the relationship is at stake.
Showing the Real You
You cannot always show up in your best attire and keep flashing that lovely smile. You might be someone who enjoys licking his/her fingers while eating finger chips, or someone who prefers old pajamas to new shorts when at home. These are small things that are revealed when you start to spend some time with your partner. If your partner is with you, just because he/she is attracted towards you, the expressions when these moments come up will say it all. What good is the relationship for, if you have to pretend being someone else? However, if your partner is happy to see the real you, you know you have fallen for the right person.
Lack of Sharing
Sharing indicates exactly what it says―sharing every single thing with each other when in a relationship. It involves emotional sharing, intimacy, feelings shared and spoken about, sharing ideas, beliefs, values―basically sharing life with one another. This is the most important ingredient in a relationship that will help maintain the closeness. Maybe you did these things earlier, but of late, if there is no sort of sharing in any way, you have a problem at hand. Start sharing everything you feel, and see the romance resurfacing.
Encounter with the Ex
That moment when you accidentally bump into your partner's ex, or read an old email or message from them, can say it all. Your reaction at this moment will reflect your trust in your partner. Your feeling of insecurity, jealousy, or suspicion can determine the future of your relationship. The previous relationship that your partner had was his/her past, and you are the present as well as future. Keeping such an attitude will help you experience a stronger emotional bonding with your partner.
When we talk about sharing, it involves finances too. As a couple, you would want to start joint investments to safeguard your future. But is your partner really interested in your opinion about the investment? That's the question to be answered. Both of you should come to a decision before making a joint investment. If you are being dominated, or your funds are being misused, then it's time to take the call.
Not all days will be hunky-dory with your partner. You might have small tiffs with him/her over an issue. But what matters here is the words said during and after these fights. There is nothing wrong in saying "sorry", but if you are the one who does it always, you need to think again. Fights are to be seen as stepping stones towards developing the relationship. You can get to know a great deal about your partner during these fights. If the blame game is on, your relationship will get wounded. The manner in which you make up after your first fight will be instrumental in strengthening your relationship.
The Word Is Commitment
A universally known fact is that guys are scared of commitment, but for that matter, even girls are equally scared. Taking time in committing to your partner can be really frustrating. If you cannot commit to your partner, it is better to call it quits. You don't have to rush into commitment, but it has to come at some point or the other. And if at this moment you get a reply, like "I am not ready" or "I am confused", kindly take cues from this.
Is your partner behaving in a "hot" and "cold" manner? Sometimes he/she will be extremely intimate with you and share everything about his/her life, while there are times when he/she doesn't have the time for you at all. There are reasons for this kind of behavior. There are high chances that your partner might be stressed out. Continuously pinpointing this behavior can further push him/her away. Instead, try to understand the reasons for the change in behavior, and try becoming a pillar of support to maintain the relationship.
Marriage is a huge leap that one takes in the relationship. It means that you are committed for life with your partner; however, most couples fall out at this moment. Your partner may feel that you are rushing into getting married, while you might feel just the opposite about your partner. Marriage should be a joint decision, and if the other person is not ready to take the step, it is your call. Talk out the wedding topic, not too early in the relationship though, but at an appropriate time, and take cues from your partner's reactions.
Addition to the Family
Once you have been in the relationship for a long time, you may want to make an addition to the family. Raising a child is a big task, and it should be the couple's joint decision, whether to make this addition or not. Many partners may not be willing to take the extra responsibility of a baby. However, once you have a baby, there will be moments when you have to stay awake at night just to take care of the child. Are you the one who does this often, or is the responsibility shared? If you have to tend to your child all the while without any support from your partner, it could create stress in your relationship.
All days will not be the same. There will be times when you will face small hang-ups, and your partner's attitude during these times will be decisive. Does he/she lend a shoulder or give that comforting hug or kiss, when you are facing small hitches? Or are you left alone during these moments? Comforting your partner can induce a feeling of respect and increased love towards him/her. It shows you care, and you are by your partner's side. This will only strengthen the relationship.
Those Lost Moments
Today, everyone is busy with their own lives and have to literally take time out for their special ones. Did you miss your partner's special day because of some prior commitments? This situation is understandable, but have you made up for it? Spending some quiet time with your partner by whisking him/her away on a romantic vacation can add volumes to the relationship. This will not only cover up for those lost moments, but will also enhance the love in your relationship.
As they say, it is easy to fall in love, but it's really difficult to maintain it. You can easily declare yourself as a couple, but your behavior during these small yet critical moments will be decisive for the future of your relationship. My only advice would be to not pretend to be someone else just to please your partner. If your partner loves you, be it any situation, your relationship will always survive any hitch.