Living with a passive aggressive, firstly goes unnoticed for a long period of time and secondly, becomes difficult once you've noticed it. However, such men are irresistible as they come across as everything you ever want them to be. They will be trustworthy friends, bankable buddies, extremely helpful colleagues and seamlessly loving, caring and romantic partners. It is this exact behavior that helps them mask their true nature. A passive aggressive man is usually stem from a dysfunctional family background or an unsafe environment during childhood.
Passive aggressive men come from families where free expression has always been obstructed. In such families, one parent may show subdued behavior, whereas the other one will show a passive aggressive behavior. This happens because, the partners in such marriages are complete opposites of each other, living in a belief they will fill in the lacking qualities of the other. This creates a family, where one person is a control freak and the other is totally passive. As children learn to emulate their parents, the child gets scared of the overbearing parent and takes a recourse to passive behavior. He looks for other ways of expressing this suppressed feelings, which leads to aggression in the passive form. Let's see some of the ways in which passive aggressive men express themselves.
A passive aggressive man will choose a partner, who is a total opposite of him. All passive aggressive men, are incapable of expressing their feelings upfront. Hence, they will look for partner, who is direct and honest. As time passes and the relationship loses its newness, a passive aggressive man will sulk, every time his partner expresses herself. An honest declaration of anger, irritation or any of her problems regarding the relationship, will be taken extremely negatively by him, sending his partner on a guilt trip. As this makes him look victimized, he will look for ways to heal his wounds. This takes him on the dangerous path of extramarital affairs.
Since your passive aggressive man is hurt and wounded by your harsh words, he goes out to find an emotional support. However, he is not going to assert his madness and he is never going to stand up for himself. He will sneak up behind you and begin socializing with other woman friends. At the same time, he will do everything in his capacity to hide it from you. This is his payoff and your pay back time. Cheating, is a very common trait of such men.
Passive aggressive men in the workplace, is the surest recipe for going down the drain. Again, such men will be the most helpful colleagues. They will go out of their way to do things for you. But, he will also fight till his last breath to pull you down and spoil your image, because he hates seeing you climb the ladder of success. He will sabotage your every plan very smartly. His conniving schemes will hardly ever be noticeable, due to his charming personality.
Sadly, these men use other ways of expression, such as scheming, as they can never learn to stand up for themselves. They can never say, 'this is who I am'. They live in wallows of self-pity and seek for undeserved attention. It you are in a relationship with a passive aggression man, understand his background, and help him change his mindset. The longer your man dwells in this passive aggressive behavior, the more difficult it is going to be for him to get over it.