Ending a relationship is an extremely challenging task for any couple. There are certain questions that must be asked before resorting to this final step. Questions have to be self-answered before ending a relationship, and they would help you to assess the situation in a better way, rather than flying off the handle and running away from the problem.
No one falls in love by choice, it’s by chance.
No one stays in love by chance, it’s by work.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it’s by choice. – Anonymous
Anyone who has ever been in love will agree that it is one of the most beautiful feelings ever. The world seems like a much better place to live in. You look for the good in everything. And then, one day, you decide ‘it’s over.’ Well, it really is not a decision taken one fine day, but in fact, issues, complaints, regrets, unsaid things that have been building up over a period of time.
When things go sour in a relationship, you think to end it. But maybe there is a better way out, like talking things out. After all, this is the same person you loved and yearned to spend every single day with; the one whose voice cheered you up on a dull day, and someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with! So, some questions you need to ask yourself before ending a relationship. These questions should hopefully help you to make the right decision, and ultimately find true happiness.
We Need to Talk. More Often.
Recently started dating? You want to spend as much time as you can with your special someone, and it is still not enough. Constant texting and frequent phone calls are part of your everyday routine. This may not necessarily be the case a few months or years down the line. But whoever said it must stop!
Communication and spending time with each other is extremely important for any relationship, if you wish for its growth. Lack of communication usually leads to misunderstandings. Effective communication is required to know and understand each others requirements and needs in a relationship. Do you think you can develop a healthy relationship with your partner if you both mend your ways? If you think it’s worth the effort, then go ahead and talk it out.
My Goal. Your Goal. Our Goal?
As time passes, sometimes, a couple’s priorities may also undergo a change. In that case, you might want to end the relationship simply because you don’t share common goals, and you don’t want the same things out of life. If that’s the case, you have to ask yourself, can you work your way around it?
Is there some common point you both can come to? Have you taken interest in your partner’s work profile or hobbies? Does he/she make the same effort? The answers to these questions will guide you in making the right choice.
To Err is Human. To Forgive Divine.
Nobody is perfect, and the sooner we accept this fact, the better it is for every relation. All of us make mistakes, have our set of fears and insecurities, and say hurtful things we don’t mean. But these should not be the main reason for a relationship to end. When you love someone, you love them for who they are, along with their imperfections. You need to ask yourself if you have been trying to change the other person, or are you letting the anger against what they did wrong build up?
Sizzle Turned Fizzle?
Often, hectic work schedule and responsibilities steal all the zing from any relationship. If you think your relationship is worth making efforts for, then have you done something special for him/her? Small and caring gestures are enough to get the warmth back into the relationship.
A surprise dinner, a special love message through flowers, a weekend getaway, cute love notes in unexpected places, can do wonders. Have you or your partner tried these little things to bring back the romance in the relationship? Do you think each of you has made enough efforts already? Think about these questions before taking the final step.
Oh My Family!
Sometimes, families can also affect a relationship that’s probably going the right way otherwise. No two individuals are the same, and if your family does not approve of your beloved, it can turn into a very awkward situation.
If family pressures are forcing you to end the relationship, before you decide to call it quits, you must ask yourself if you’re ready to spend your life without your partner, and if you think your partner is worth all the efforts. What does your relationship really mean to you?
For Better or Worse?
Ups and downs are part of every relation, and in spite of all the problems and issues you’ll face, the bottom line remains, you also are in love and break-ups can be really tough. If you still have a feeling of longing to be with him/her, then have you tried to figure out if there is a solution, before deciding on walking out on your partner?
Never leave with the regret of not having tried hard enough. But if you feel you have given this relationship your best, then it’s time for you to weigh the pros and cons, and take the next best step.
Trust. Hard to Find. Easy to Lose.
Amongst the numerous reasons for ending a relationship, infidelity is one of the most common ones in recent times. Let’s face it, in this fast-paced life, many do not have the inclination for a long-term relationship. With flings and one-night stands on the rise, cheating in a relationship is not very uncommon. Trust is the basic foundation of any relationship; therefore, it is important to know the truth before you end the relationship.
Are you really in love with your partner, and can you forgive him/her and begin the relationship all over again? Would you trust him/her completely again? Or does your partner have the habit of lying all the time? If your partner has broken the trust you placed in him/her, the most practical thing to do is to talk it out directly. Do not let a third person ever influence your decision or feelings, whether it means hanging in there or setting yourself free.
Some other questions that are as important that need to be asked are:
Are you guys still physically attracted to each other?
Does your ego/pride come in the way of your happiness in this relationship?
Do you both love spending time together like before?
Is there enough intimacy in the relationship?
Does being in this relationship make you feel happy about yourself?
Do you feel emotionally satisfied in the relationship?
Are you going to regret ending things and will you miss your partner?
Would counseling help to sort out the existing problems?
Are you taking the decision to end things out of anger?
Will a temporary break solve the problem instead?