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Should I Get a Divorce?

Should You Get a Divorce? Know the Things to Consider Beforehand

People tend to contemplate a divorce if they are experiencing some major problems in their marriage. If this holds true for you as well, then this article will try to help you by putting forward some valid reasons for getting a divorce.
Deepa Kartha
Last Updated: Dec 10, 2017
There are many men and women, who marry thinking that they have met the perfect partner; and later, they realize that they were wrong, and their partner is not even a bit of what they had thought. Though the only thing one thinks about is separation in such cases, a divorce is surely not a decision that should be taken in haste. Margaret Atwood's quote, a divorce is like amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you does explain the aftereffects of ending a marriage.
When to Consider?
  • All married couples will understand that marriage is surely no cakewalk. How much ever you love your spouse, you are sure to have some kind of differences with him/her while living together.
  • This is inevitable, and according to some people, necessary to make the marriage stronger.
  • To make a marriage work, it is important for couples to understand that it is extremely crucial to put aside their differences, and work towards a single goal.
  • However, when one realizes that the one's partner is cheating on him/her or is not ready to take up the responsibilities that marriage brings with it, divorce becomes an inevitable answer.
There are many people who think that they can use this element as a tool to make their spouse do what they want. However, this does not happen, rather it only breaks your family apart. Hence, people should understand that it should be a last resort only after knowing that there are no chances of reconciliation. Here are some reasons which can lead to legal marriage separation.
Emotional Attachment
  • If you are considering a separation seriously, the first thing that you need to ask yourself is whether you still love and care about your spouse.
  • If the answer to this question is yes, then you must reconsider your decision.
  • This is because if you love your spouse, somewhere down the line, you may feel that you have made a mistake.
  • Hence, even if you find that your spouse is cheating on you, it is important to give him/her a second chance.
  • It is then up to your spouse to accept his/her mistake and promise to be faithful towards you in the future.
  • Consulting a marriage counselor may help in saving your marriage.
  • Commitment is surely the most important factor that makes a marriage work.
  • However, the commitment should not be one-sided, i.e., if you realize that it is only you who have been making compromises and sacrifices in the marriage, then this is not correct.
  • Such marriages will not last long, as sometime or the other, you will feel frustrated and used.
  • However, rather than filing for a dissolution, talk to your partner about this directly.
  • If he/she does not understand this and does not show any signs of change in behavior, then a split may be the only way out.
Emotional Decision
  • Another very important thing that you have to consider is whether the decision is an emotional one.
  • In other words, if you just blurted out to your partner during a major argument that you want to get divorced, then your decision may not be the right one.
  • You must understand that decisions taken when one is emotionally overwhelmed can cause further problems.
  • The decision should be a result of true self awareness, and only when you are sure that you will be able to handle the stress, which accompanies the court proceedings.
  • The most important aspect to be considered is about your child.
  • One must understand that children are definitely most affected by the separation of parents.
  • However, this should not be the only reason for not parting too.
  • If children are constantly exposed to situations, where parents are fighting and arguing with each other, this can hurt them more.
So, whatever decision you make, you have to consider all the factors of your marriage carefully. However, if you are being physically, emotionally, or mentally abused by your spouse, nothing should hamper you from getting a divorce from him/her.
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