The good old saying that "love is blind" stands true to its word in many cases, one of them being, a one-sided relationship. You might as well call the inability to identify the "emptiness" of your relationship to be nothing else but blindness. If you doubt your union to be a "one-partner effort", this LoveBondings post will help open your eyes by giving you 10 signs that you’re in a one-sided relationship.
What is a One-sided Relationship?
We can define this relationship as the one where only a single partner is bothered about being together and spending some quality time with his/her love, while the other partner has a very indifferent attitude towards it. It would be interesting to note that in most of these relationships, the indifferent partner is the one having commitment issues.
That is how one-sided relationships feel, right? It seems as if you’re the only one who has committed into a relationship, while your partner seems to behave as if he/she is pretty much single. Well, we don’t mean to imply that being committed should, in any way, take away your license to freedom, individuality, and your social life, but yes, commitment does bring in a sense of responsibility towards your partner, and while you understand this aspect in every possible manner, your partner doesn’t really care.
Relationships are complicated, and there needs to be a balance maintained when it comes to being with each other. While too much of dependence can be termed as “being clingy”, too much of independence may be called “being indifferent”. You two have accepted each other in your life for certain reasons, promised to be with each other so that none of you feels alone anymore. Things had been quite well initially, but now it feels as if your definition of being in a relationship doesn’t match with your partner’s. Now, you’ve started to feel as if you are in a one-sided relationship, but you often feel like shunning those thoughts because you don’t want to come across as a possessive, clingy, and demanding partner. But, seriously, are you really demanding too much? The following section will clarify the same.
10 Signs of Being in a One-sided Relationship
At times, saying I love you isn’t enough, you need more. Not that you want your partner to promise you the moon and stars, or never let a tear roll off from your eyes, but at least you should be confident of this relationship. Your expectations are realistic if all you want your partner to do is spend some quality time with ‘You’. If you feel more close to your colleague, or your roommate, than your partner, this relationship isn’t taking quite the right route.
You are the one who initiates conversations and plans
You know for a fact that if it is not you who initiates a conversation, your partner wouldn’t bother for days to keep in touch with you! Also, if you don’t make plans for outings and meeting up, your partner will never ever take the initiative. Your mind keeps on telling you that your love doesn’t care for you, but your heart keeps on shunning these thoughts, and you have now ended up accepting that this is how it is going to be. Remind yourself time and again and the “Two” of you are in a relationship, and it takes two (not one) to keep it lasting in the long run.
You don’t come off as a priority, rather an obligation
Love is the priority of life, in fact, it is more important than life itself, such has been indicated in the innumerable epic novels and religious texts of this world. But in your case, it seems as if you aren’t a priority at all, in fact, you are someone who comes into the picture when everyone else is too busy. He/she prefers his/her friends and family over you, and you are expected to understand because love calls for adjustments and sacrifices, however, you see them coming from your end only. If you wish to spend time with your partner, he/she needs to squeeze you into his/her schedule. It feels as if you’re taking an appointment from your partner. But, when your partner makes a plan, you have to keep the other things aside. How is that fair?
Your partner doesn’t know what’s happening in your life, doesn’t even care!
Your partner doesn’t know even half of the things happening in your life. In fact, your dog knows more. What we’re trying to imply is that he/she is too busy to even inquire of what’s happening at your end. In fact, we have seen many cases where the indifferent partner ends up accusing the other partner to be too demanding, or too dependent! Well, we tell you it’s not being too dependent or weak, it is being in touch with the one person you love. You don’t expect your partner to be with you physically at the time, but if he or she considers listening to your issues a sign of dependency, or, if you have to think twice before calling your partner during times when you wish to share a good news too, then it is clear that your partner isn’t worth being a partner after all.
Your loving gestures are hardly reciprocated
You’re the only reason why the element of “love” lies in this relationship. It is you who ensures to do something thoughtful and lovingly for your partner. Be it sending him/her flowers, or messages of sweet nothings, cooking his/her favorite dish, taking special efforts to woo your love over and over again. Not that you do things for your love because you expect something in return, but still, you hardly ever get any kind of appreciation for your efforts. In fact, your partner makes you feel as if it is your duty to do so. Ironically, it is only your duty because “you are the sort who would do all this for your love”, but, you can’t expect him/her to be reciprocating even half of it, because, “it isn’t their cup of tea”!
You don’t feel like a normal happy couple
Being in a relationship is something we tend to look forward too as soon as we understand the meaning of this union. Even before we have finally met our partner, we tend to create images in our heads, imagine the things we would do together, the loving gestures that we will bestow on our partner. Having read or seen a zillion love stories in books and movies, we sort of create a romantic haven in our minds. But as we grow, from one relationship to the other, we realize that it takes a lot of reality to sink in, to make it a genuine, practical, and real union. But, what you’re going through isn’t even close to the minimalistic expectations you imagined in your normal happy union. You feel sort of confused, unhappy, empty in this relationship. Not something that fits in your idea of happiness and love.
You hardly have a social life as a couple
So, you guys are dating … but dates seem to be missing in your life? Not that being with someone is all about going on dates and roaming around, but in your case, there is hardly anything social that the two of you do. It has been ages since the two of you went out on a date. Your friends circle is completely different from your partner’s. He/she never really makes you a part of his/her social life. In fact, you doubt if your partner’s friends and family knows that he/she is dating you! If all these lines read your life’s situation right now, there are high chances that you are in a one-sided relationship.
People have told you to let go of this relationship
We are humans and so we are bound to seek counsel from those we place our trust in. If your partner’s behavior is keeping you boggled all the time, there is no harm to confide in someone about it. However, if you’re being the nice and loyal partner who wishes to keep things under closed walls, then ours is among the many sites that will tell you to end this one-sided relationship if things don’t get better; and chances are, they won’t. If you have spoken to a close friend about your relationship issues, and if one and all have the same advice, then that’s really telling you something, isn’t it?
You feel used rather than being loved
The exchange of those magical three words, “I Love You”, marks the beginning of any relationship. It doesn’t take a scholarly education to understand what love is, so don’t even try to justify your partner’s indifference as “their way to express love”. We think love is more of an emotional bond than the physical one. Do you feel that bond with your partner? Ask yourself honestly, don’t you feel more “used” rather than “loved”? When your partner needs you, he or she doesn’t consider your comfort, or will, or availability. But you, being the caring one, also give in to your partner’s demands. If he/she needs to talk to you at 4 am, you are right there for him/her, irrespective of the fact that you have work the next morning. But when you feel like talking to him/her at 1 am, you should understand why your partner is unavailable to talk to you. You don’t call this love, this is pure form of use, selfish use.
Your partner is mostly never there …
The whole point of being in a relationship is to be with a companion who never lets you feel alone, but in your case, you are always alone, if not physically, then emotionally, or perhaps both ways. He/she is unavailable when you’re upset and need a hug, never there (or uninterested) to listen to how your day went, and if there’s some good news that you wish to share with the world, starting from him/her, he/she is usually the last one to know about it. You feel lonely but you can’t bother your partner because, like always, he/she will be busy with important things. It feels as good as being single, doesn’t it?
Your partner is numb towards your relationship concerns
Clearly there are issues, and you know that. So, like a mature and understanding partner you choose to share your concerns with your love, but what do you get in return―a numb response! He/she takes it as if a child is blabbering gibberish stuff that isn’t worth being bothered. Or, if your partner is the short-tempered kind, there would be loud arguments, accusations, and quarrels about how YOU are being a drama queen about the whole thing. In short, your effort to talk to your partner is of no use, because things don’t better anyway, in fact, they get worse.
If you have checked most of the signs we’ve stated above, then you needn’t seek for more reasons to stick around. Seriously, don’t you wish your current state is actually worse than being single? If it is always about your partner’s point of view, commitments, lifestyle, and priorities, and you just feel squeezed in his/her life, rather than being a substantial part of it, then our advice to you would be to let go. A real relationship is never one-sided. You might as well keep yourself free for someone who will value your worth.