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Are You or Your Partner Possessive?

Are You or Your Partner Possessive?

Are you in a relationship with an over possessive person? Are you possessive yourself? Take this quiz to find out.
Mukulika Mukherjee
Last Updated: Feb 27, 2018
Tattooed woman with partner
"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love."
- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
A little possessiveness is normal in every relationship. In fact, it is essential for two people involved in a romantic relationship to be a bit possessive about each other. It's human instinct to become possessive about someone we truly love. The problem arises when one of the partners starts to feel insecure and ends up trying to control the other. Overpossessiveness can be harmful for a relationship as it gives rise to negative emotions, such as jealousy and hatred.

The primary cause of possessiveness is insecurity, which can stem from various factors. An insecure person doubts his/her partner's affection and hence resorts to controlling behavior. This controlling behavior is one of the classic signs of a possessive partner. So, are you or your partner possessive?
How Possessive Are You or Your Partner?
Here's a fun quiz that can help you find out whether you are possessive or not. Just select the option you can relate to, and once you're done, click the Check Answer button given at the end of the quiz. So, here we go!
1. You are out with your friends and find your partner with an attractive person of the opposite sex. You would...
  • Walk up to them and create a scene.
  • Feel a tinge of jealousy, but you know that he/she would never break your trust.
  • Not be the least bothered.

2. Your partner is away to spend an evening with his/her group of friends. You would...
  • Call him/her frequently to know about his/her whereabouts.
  • Send a message, asking him/her to call you once he/she is back home.
  • Not even be remotely concerned.

3. Your partner requests you to cancel a date, saying he/she is not keeping well. You would...
  • Call up on his/her landline to make sure he/she is indeed at home.
  • Ask him/her to call you should he/she need something.
  • Feel great that he/she is not turning up for the date.

4. You guys are out on a date, when your partner's ex walks in and greets him/her. You would...
  • Make up an excuse for you and your partner to leave the place.
  • Stay calm and exchange a few words with the ex if you happen to know him/her in person.
  • Ask the ex to join you guys for dinner. After all, the more the merrier!

5. How much time do you and your partner spend together?
  • Our worlds revolve around each other.
  • We do meet frequently, but allow each other space.
  • Spending time together? Well, we're too busy with our own lives to find time.

6. How closely do you monitor his/her activity online?
  • I spend most of my leisure hours sneaking into his virtual world, just to "see" what he's up to.
  • I trust my partner and believe in giving space.
  • Why share passwords in the first place? I would never do that!

7. If you find your partner looking at a person of the opposite sex, you would...
  • Grin and bear it for the time, and shout at your partner later on.
  • Say something like, "Yeah! That guy (or girl) is hot!", to make light of the situation.
  • Not mind at all (Even I'm checking out hot guys (or girls) all the time!)

8. How many times a day would you call your partner?
  • More than 50 times! I call him/her every 10 minutes or so.
  • Once in a while, whenever I feel like speaking to him/her.
  • Why call up and disturb him/her? I have my own work to do!

9. Do you think your partner would ever lie to you?
  • I think he has lied to me many times already.
  • I don't think he needs to, and neither do I. After all, both of us allow each other space.
  • As if I really care!

10. How often do you find yourself fighting for not spending enough time together?
  • Almost all the time!
  • Rarely. I thank my stars for such a loving partner!
  • Never.

11. How often do you ask your partner to prove his/her love for you?
  • Almost everyday!
  • Occasionally.
  • Never.

12. What do your partner's friends say about you?
  • He/she is so controlling and bossy!
  • He/she is an ideal boyfriend/girlfriend. You're lucky, girl (or dude)!
  • Are you guys really in a relationship?

13. You find that your partner's phone is engaged in the middle of the night. You would...
  • Become furious.
  • Understand that it doesn't mean he/she is seeing someone else!
  • Not be the least bothered!

14. Do you dictate over your partner's choice of hobbies and friends?
  • Almost always!
  • Not quite! I believe in giving him/her space as an individual.
  • I don't even know what his hobbies are!

15. How often do you fight with your partner over trivial issues?
  • Very often... almost every other day.
  • Occasionally.
  • Never.

Your result will be displayed here...
Tips to Overcome Possessiveness
So, you've found that you're possessive? Worry not, for here are a few tips that can help you successfully overcome your controlling nature.

 For once, let go of your insecurity and learn to build trust in the relationship.

 Increase your self-confidence and work on building your self-esteem.

 Whenever you feel the pangs of jealousy, remind yourself that you have a partner who truly cherishes the relationship.

 Meet up with your pals and spend some fun time together. Otherwise, indulge in some activity that interests you. The idea is to take time out for yourself and get a life outside the relationship.

 Don't let your jealous nature get the better of you.
Tips to Deal with a Possessive Partner
So, it's not you but your partner who's possessive? Here are some tips to guide you in dealing with a possessive partner.

 Try to find out the cause behind his/her possessive nature. Did he/she, for example, have a troubled childhood? Once you've arrived at the root of the problem, you probably need to reassure him/her of your deep love and devotion.

 If there's any particular behavior of yours that your partner does not approve of, then avoid it if possible.

 Make sure he knows just how much he/she means to you. Effective communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Do whatever you can to make him/her feel loved and appreciated.

 Never hide anything from your partner.
Overpossessiveness can be a serious concern in a relationship, but it is not something that cannot be overcome. Just take the necessary steps, and you will witness your relationship blossom.