Breaking up with someone you love is hard, especially when you have to question so many aspects of the relationship that need evaluating. There are some tough questions you'll be faced with, when you're up against the wall with relationship issues that have been brewing for a long time. You need to clear your mind, and gain some perspective, and ask yourself some pretty nail-hitting questions. How can you be so sure if this is the guy/man for you?
Is he the guy/man you thought you always knew? People change, and one's true colors come forth once that fake facade is striped away slowly, over time. You'll come across here on some breakup words of wisdom for girls and women too. After all, guys are very much like men, and they're not very hard to understand if you know exactly what to look for. It's all in the way they talk, behave, and interact with others, that will have you answering some of relationships' toughest queries in the following breakup advice for girls.
Breakup Questions for Girls/Women
If a girl/woman is smart enough to ponder about the flaws that her relationship has, or really look at how chipped it is from certain angles, she really knows what she wants. To really come to a conclusion that you don't regret, and are happy about, you have to answer some direct, and obvious question, about your relationship.
- Does he give me the respect I know I deserve?
- Do my family and friends see something off about him, that I don't?
- Do I find myself sticking up for immoral behavior on his part?
- Is it fair that he misses out on important things that happen in my life?
- Is he financially stable to support me and possible children in the future?
- Is he a good influence on people?
- Are his friends, people I dislike for morality issues?
- How do I know that he's not meeting other women on his frequent business trips?
- How do I know if he wants a future and isn't here for the moment?
- Am I okay with him being involved in illegal acts?
- Am I okay with him meeting his ex-girlfriends too often?
- If he's been divorced in the past, how do I know if things will work out for us?
- Can I handle being with a single father?
- Am I ready to commit to someone I barely know?
- Is it weird that he hasn't introduced me to his parents yet? (ideal time is within the first 6 months)
- Can I handle his over possessive nature?
- Is his obsessive nature swerving out of control?
- Is it right to feel fear every time he comes around? (abusive in nature)
- Am I taking advice from family/friends for granted, about something I choose not to believe in about him?
- Is cheating forgivable after the first or second time?
- How I do know he won't repeat his acts of infidelity by covering his tracks better the next time?
- Am I ready to gamble away my life if I'm not really sure about this guy/man?
Break up Advice
There are so many areas of a relationship that need to be extracted and analyzed, since no one really knows whom they're with, even after being with them for years. They say it takes a day to know someone, but that's just pure crap. Dating a stranger is a little tricky, since you don't know anyone to ask about this guy/man, and he's new to everyone you introduce him to.
Whereas if you met him through a mutual friend or two, then you know that they have solid background information to know exactly who he is. So here I'm going to take you along the most obvious of problems that most women and girls face. Identifying where you fall, and how you can change your life for the better, is your call.
Long Distance Relationships
When dealing with a long distance relationship, trust me, it is not easy. There are so many things that you have to confront. He could be cheating on you with another woman/girl where he is, he could be using you as someone to have when he's in town, he could be a totally different person all together, he can disappear on you and never get in touch again, and so on. So ask yourself now how it will come down to compromise as well.
Are you willing to leave your place and settle where he's at? Are you wiling to put your career on hold for him? Can you handle the pressure of a long distance relationship, and manage your studies as well? Are you willing to leave a familiar place to one that you have no clue about? Are expenses a non issue when keeping in touch with him? Is it worth all this trouble? There's a lot that comes with a relationship that's miles away. Are you willing to do all that you can to make it work, with no assurance whatsoever, is something you'll have to answer to yourself.
You could be dating a married man, and expecting him to leave his wife, and kids if he has any, for you. How can you guarantee that this won't come back to haunt you someday? He could do the same thing to you, and have you hanging with a pair of kids in tow. Ask yourself if a married man, whose wife has no inkling whatsoever of what he's doing behind her back, is the right guy/man for you.
There are many married guys/men who promise women (and girls) that they want to run away with them and start a whole new life - not really caring about their wives or children. Is this what you want? You want to carry that burden of guilt forever, knowing that what you did hurt someone? Ask yourself if this is how you see yourself years from now - with married men who can change their minds and chicken out on their promises to women/girls they're with. So think hard about what you're doing, and honestly the best thing to do, is find someone who has no baggage.
The worst thing a girl/woman can do, is find a great guy/man to be with, who sadly is her rebound guy/man. I totally get why you would want someone else to fill in the space, and be the cause for a distraction. The problem is, you're in a relationship with this guy/man, and not in a one night stand or casual fling. This is a full-fledged dating scenario, where the guy/man thinks you're genuinely in it, for the commitment.
Ask yourself if what you're doing is right, and work out your messy past with him, and tell him you're ready to move on, and make things better with him. If this person is someone you want to just pass the time with, and not really get involved with for the long haul, then the right thing to do, would be to end it well, and then afterward look for something more solid and worthwhile when you're ready.
You can see why women/girls are caught in a whirlwind of doubts about where things are going, and what they should do about it in a relationship. No one can really help you, except yourself. What people offer in terms of help, are words of advice. It is, at the end of the day, up to you, how you use the above relationship breakup advice to decide what's next.