A divorce is the only solution sometimes, when things have gone beyond reconciliation. When it cannot be executed amicably, through a mediator, and things move to court, it is time to look for a lawyer, who can argue your case effectively. A divorce case fought in court, is a tough experience, as all your previously personal details of married life, are made public in the courtroom. So, it's all the more important to choose a lawyer, who handles your case with dignity, sensitivity, and fairness. An equal solution, that benefits both parties and children, should be worked upon.
How to Choose One?
There are many ways to look for divorce lawyers. You could browse through yellow pages, directly meet them, or talk to your friends, who have gone through a similar experience and ask for their recommendations. It is better to go for an attorney, through such a recommendation. That way, you can have a feedback from people, whom that attorney has already represented.
Every case is different and the people involved are different. So, one attorney's favorable review from an acquaintance, may not mean that you may have the same experience. Of course, the last thing to do is to make an appointment and meet the person, before deciding the further course of action. Seek legal advice, before going further, as once you make the decision to go for it, it is almost irreversible.
First thing to look for is what kind of law he specializes in and it has to be divorce or rather family law. Look for the kind of cases he has handled in the past. For purpose of convenience, I refer to the attorney in male gender here. However, it could also be a female attorney. Inquire about his experience in representing men in divorce cases.
Ensure that he has substantial experience in practicing family law. If a child custody problem is involved, make sure that he is well-versed in the state laws regarding child custody. Alimony is a major cause of worry for men. So, also ensure that he has substantial experience in dealing with alimony related problems. The only way to know all this is to discuss the case in detail with him or her.
Of course, the most important part is how much he is charging you for his services. Although, emotions are involved for you, in this whole case, for him, it is pure business. You need to understand that. See that he charges you reasonably. However, good divorce attorneys come at a high price and that needs to be remembered too.
Look for courtroom experience in the attorney's career. It is very much necessary that he has a substantial amount of experience. The core practical knowledge of a lawyer is obtained in the courtroom, in arguing a case.
Some of the best attorneys will not advise you to go fight the case in court. They will suggest an amicable out-of-the-court settlement, instead of having an emotionally scarring, fighting match of accusations in court. However, if the other side is unreasonable, you may not have any option but to fight in court.
Lastly, once you decide the divorce lawyer who will represent you, discuss every fact of the case frankly with him. There is no point in withholding anything. If you make a clean breast of things, right before the case, your lawyer will have fewer surprises in court.
Once you select a lawyer, have faith in him and do not meddle into his affairs too much. He knows the law and you have to listen to him. I am not saying that do what he says blindly, but do not question him at every point. Most importantly, once you are into this divorce case, there is no pulling back.
Be prepared for whatever follows in court and deal with things calmly and practically. It's difficult to take the ego out of the equation here, but try to think what is in the best interest of your children. The effect of divorce on children is the most harsh. Even if you are separating from your wife now, due to unresolvable differences, do not be harsh and try to inflict more pain through litigation. You may feel like doing it then, but you will feel worse, after you have done it.
After all, you were family once and cared for each other. Remember that, before deciding what you want. It is good to be very clear about what your expectations from the case are. Discuss them clearly with your lawyer so that he can formulate courtroom strategy, accordingly.
It is never easy to fight a divorce. Not only do you get drained emotionally, you also bleed financially. Try to find a mutually amicable solution, with your soon to be ex-spouse, outside the court. Otherwise, if you fail there, the option of fighting the thing out in court is always open and there are professional divorce attorneys, who will fight for you.
People may look at them adversely and think of them as opportunists who profit from misery, but their work is important. People are entitled to their opinions, but after all, they are just doing their jobs.