ESTPs are fun-loving and gregarious people who enjoy living in the present rather than thinking about the future, but surely make great partners. So, if you are an ESTP looking for advice, or dating an ESTP, we will help you through your problems in relationships and also tell you the relationship compatibility with others.
“The truth is I love being alive. And I love feeling free. So if I can’t have those things then I feel like a caged animal and I’d rather not be in a cage. I’d rather be dead. And it’s real simple. And I think it’s not that uncommon.”
― Angelina Jolie (an ESTP)
Handling relationships can be one big task for some people, while for others, it comes easily to them. For some, it is a love at first sight while others take time to develop feelings. So, what is it that makes them click? Looks? Well, not completely! It’s the personalities of two people that make them or break them. It plays a great role in relationships. Understanding the personality of your partner or your own won’t vanish away the problems magically, but certainly make you deal with them easily.
One of the 16 personality types under the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is the ESTP. ESTPs are known for being enthusiastic, bold, adventurous, and thrill-seeking people. They are action-packed and love to be on their toes all the time rather than spending time alone sitting in a room. About 4-10% of the world population exhibit ESTP personality traits. They are called the doers or the persuaders who like to live in the moment rather than focusing on the future. In the below sections you will read about ESTPs in relationships and their compatibility with other personality types.
Know Your ESTP
E – Extraversion
ESTPs are extrovert people. They are fun-loving and outgoing people who like socializing with the crowd. They love interacting with people and have boundless energy.
S – Sensing
ESTPs are the kind of people that like to live in the present moment and make the most out of it, rather than thinking about the future. They prefer to focus on small things instead of looking at a broader view.
T – Thinking
ESTPs are practical, rational, and logical thinkers. They care about the objective and logic behind a decision more than the social norms and feelings of others.
P – Perceiving
ESTPs are adaptable and like to keep their options open. They are very spontaneous and do not like to stress themselves with planning. They like flexibility in their lifestyle instead of being organized all the time.
ESTP As Lovers
ESTPs are not the type of people who realize other people’s feelings easily, and are also inexpressive of their own emotions and feelings. In this case, their partners may feel the lack of support or words of affirmation from them. If they are unhappy in a relationship, they may simply end it instead of expressing their unhappiness. Their impulsive, risk-taking, and quick-thinking nature can lead them to take wrong decisions in life.
The energetic and outgoing personality of the ESTPs attracts people towards them. Their enthusiastic and chirpy nature can be really contagious to people around them, even in relationships. You can never get bored in the company of an ESTP. ESTPs are fearless when it comes to approaching people. They have a wonderful gift of charming other people and captivating their minds. Their great sense of humor can prove to be an icebreaker during the initial stages of relationships or even during awkward moments. They can be extremely charming and loving in the beginning of relationships. Be rest assured that your life will be one hell of an adventure if you are dating an ESTP as they bring fun and energy into their relationships. They make great lovers and see intimacy in a fun and tangible way. They are loyal and caring partners.
ESTPs in long-term relationships certainly do well, but bear in mind that this not what they are actually looking for. Getting committed to a person easily is not their cup of tea. They like to take things slowly by observing how the relationship develops on a daily basis. This also means that they like to keep their options open, and tend to search for a new partner if they feel that their needs are not being met or if they are finding the current relationship boring. They tend to get bored easily mainly because of their enthusiastic and outgoing nature. If this problem is not worked upon, they may tend to jump from relationship to relationship without getting really committed.
ESTP As Parents
ESTP parents love to play and spend time with their children as they themselves are kids within. However, their need for flexibility in life does’t make them structured or organized parents. They like to take things as and when they come, and teach their kids whatever may seem appropriate to them in that situation. They like teaching their children and even learning from them. They encourage their children to take up sports and other practical hobbies.
They give them their space and allow them to have their own opinions in the family. More than a parent or guide, they like to be their children’s friend and a close companion. However, they have a problem in punishing their children or disciplining them, mainly because of their easy-going nature. Because of their inexpressive nature, they may seem harsh and unnatural to their children at times. Overall, they make good and enthusiastic parents who share a friendship bond with their children.
ESTP As Friends
Their straightforward and blunt nature, which they see as being honest, may often hurt other people’s feelings. They tend to detach quickly and move on in life if they find anybody boring. However, this does not mean that they do not have any lifelong friends. They are extremely loyal towards their friends and will hardly betray them.
ESTPs are great with other people. As mentioned above, they love to be surrounded with people and interacting with them. They are quite popular among their peers because they are friendly, talkative, fast-paced, and know to make the most of a situation. No party is complete without an ESTP. They prefer indulging in activities rather than just sitting with a bunch of friends. Hands-on and fun activities are their ideas of having fun. They can be friends easily with almost everyone and love people who share their attitude and zest for life. They live in the present and hardly worry about what other people might think of them.
ESTP Compatibility Matches
Each and every person on this earth possesses different qualities and behavior. The most important factor in a good compatibility is the similarity between two partners. You cannot expect the problems in relationships to vanish away magically. The MBTI analysis works only if you are willing to make your relationship work and grow with it. The ESTPs are better understood and appreciated by other Sensors and Thinkers.
The best and the most compatible personality types with ESTPs are:
Out of these, ISTJ and ISFJ make the most natural partners of ESTPs. The dominant cognitive function of the ESTP is best suited with the Introverted Sensing of these two.
As far as the least compatible matches are concerned, personalities with strong Feelings will not work out well with the ESTPs. The least compatible matches are:
Among these, the relationship of ESTP with INFJ or an INTJ is the least compatible of all. As cliche it may sound that opposites attract, it may not work for all kinds of relationships.
Dating Tips for ESTP
ESTPs love the idea of being in love, but when pushed for commitment, they start getting suffocated. They need a companion whom they can explore new things and places, and enjoy and laugh as much as they want. Since they are the doers, they jump into action and solve problems as quickly as possible. So, if you are dating an ESTP or you are an ESTP looking for advice, here are some dating tips:
Live in the moment
As you know ESTPs enjoy the present situation rather than focusing on the bigger picture, make sure you enjoy your life with them and make the most of it. Don’t pester them with questions regarding the future of your relationship, instead try and enjoy the moments with them. No, this does not mean that they do not commit to any relationship. You can always work it out when the time is right.
Keep them interested
This is another important point you may have to take care of. Since they are enthusiastic and fun-loving, they tend to get bored easily and might seek new things in life, even relationships! They may detach or deviate when anything interesting attracts them. Encourage and support them in learning new things in life, maybe a new sport, hobby, cuisine, language, or traveling. You can also incorporate little changes in your life so that you both can enjoy together.
Show interest in their love for action
ESTPs don’t like sitting idle for a long time and find theories boring. Indulge in some fun activities with them like sports, skydiving, surfing, etc. An ideal date for ESTPs would be a dance class or some adventure sport. Enjoy and share their energy and love for action if you want your relationship to be fun and lively always.
Share their social lifestyle
They simply love being in the midst of a crowd. They may have a big social circle and love hanging out with them. Don’t forget that this is what you may have got attracted to in the first place. You may not want to cage them and stop them from socializing with people. Don’t fret or fume on them for being with other people, instead try and accept that it is a part of their personality. Maybe, you can also try socializing a bit.
It takes dedication, efforts, and patience to maintain a relationship as not each and every minute can be fun and thrilling. Rest assured, if you are with an ESTP, they will keep the flame burning.
Disclaimer: This analysis will only work if both of you are willing to stick around with each other. The above examples are simply based on common observations and research, and does not intend to oppose anyone’s relationship preferences.