Dedicated, sincere, hard-working, honest are some desirable adjectives you would want to associate with our companion. But if your partner's dedication, sincerity and honesty are all directed only and only towards his work... well, there is a situation that is bound to drive you nuts! While it is important you find yourself a guy who takes his work seriously and is committed towards it, it is also important that he has time for you in his life!
It is always better to do the work you love rather than having to love the work you do. So it is understandable that you are rather excited as you graduate from being a student to being a professional. However, slowly the excitement settles down into something more stable. You still remain dedicated to work, for it is after all something you have always wanted to do. What then is the difference between such a man, and a workaholic? How to identify if your man is a workaholic or not? And how to date a workaholic man? Here are some cues that will help you answer these questions.
Is Your Man REALLY a Workaholic?
Being dedicated to work, and being a workaholic are two different things, and it is important you understand the difference between the two. Workaholics feel the compulsive need to keep working at all times. They just cannot stop working, or thinking, worrying, talking, discussing work! Many a time this compulsive need to keep working is associated with some personality complex or a psychological condition - completely losing himself in work could be a workaholics way of dealing with (or rather avoiding to deal with) some serious problems or issues in his life. If that is the case, you - as his companion - can try to get him help. However, if there is no such situation, then you are simply in love with a man who is more dedicated to his work than you can be okay with!
Dating a Workaholic Man
First and foremost - it's not easy. Even if you are not the kind of girl who wants her partners attention 24x7, dating a workaholic is really not easy. It requires patience... and a LOT of it. But even with patience, you are sometimes at a loss of what exactly it is you should DO to make it work! Patience is going to help you deal with what and how YOU feel about the whole relationship; but how exactly is the relationship going to turn out to be? How is it going to proceed? Here are a few things you can do to make dating a workaholic easy.
Understand and Make Understand
It is one thing to THINK your guy is workaholic and another to know it for a fact and understand what it means. The first thing you should do is try to understand the cause behind your guy being workaholic; once you do, you can tackle the problem better. By tackle I do not mean you be his mother and take charge of his job and his life. Sometimes men get so absorbed in their work, they do not realize it is affecting their relationship. Women being more sensitive and emotional, can pick up these signs easily though. Try to make your guy see what is happening. Talk to him, but not like a counselor or a teacher - talk to him like an equal. Do not be authoritative; do not sound whiny either. But do not sound too meek. Make your point without making a noise.
Voice Your Concern
Try to educate your guy about how being a workaholic is bad for you, him, and the two of you together. Let the talk come out of genuine concern rather than out of dissatisfaction. Let it not sound like you are trying to point out his faults to him. Do NOT, under any circumstance give him the guilt of not being able to give you time. Lend him an honest and unbiased ear. If he seems like he wants to talk to you about him, hear him out. If he seems to be holding his thoughts back, try to get him to come forth with them.
Chalk It Out!
Try to get things organized. Decide a time in the week when you would both be completely there for each other. Set a few simple rules, like no attending work-related calls. And do not just impose the rules on your man, follow them yourselves too! Make time to do things together, like going to the movies, throwing a party, making a day-trip. Take up a hobby together. Initially, it may feel too structured a relationship, but maybe spending more time together, or spending time together on a regular basis will re-invoke in your guy the feelings that have gone dormant and make him see what all he had been missing!
Spice It Up!
Many a time all it needs to grab your guy's attention is a little bit of spice! When was the last time you made a night to remember? When was the last time your guy called you just to hear your voice? When was the last time you saw that deep longing for you in his eyes? Sometimes you have to remind your guy about what you two have been together, what you two are together, and what millions of things you can be together! There are many things you can do to spice up your relationship. Surprise your man - and leave him begging for more!
Being in the world and age that we are in, it is a common-place scenario for both man and woman to be professionals. However, we must realize ourselves and make the man we are dating realize too, that there is more to life than just careers, job and money. You cannot hug a pile of money while sleeping at night! We do not intend to, but we end up losing our grip on this simple fact of life; and if one of you is faltering, it rests on the others shoulders to bring it to his/her notice! A relationship is a two-way road, and both partners need to complement each other and take turns for being there for each other (and for making mistakes too!). The key-word here is balance. I hope you find it soon. Good luck!