Uncertainty makes up most of our life. Sometimes, it is the uncertainty of getting into college, making friends, clearing exams, and the list continues with every stage of growing up. As romantic relationships come along, the newness instills fondness in both. However, as partners get used to each other, either is taken for granted by the other. Gradually, a certain boredom creeps in, bringing in unnecessary friction and uncertainty. A relationship becomes extremely stressful with escalating uncertainty. The communication gap widens, making the situation worse than it actually is. Here are a few tips for dealing with uncertainty in a relationship before it leads to permanent insecurity in your minds.
Dealing with Uncertainty in a Relationship
Reassess Your Expectations
To deal with uncertainty, you need to understand and accept it. Constantly fussing over your relationship, worrying too much about it, being suspicious of your partner for no valid reason or being in a dilemma about continuing the relationship are some of the signs of uncertainty in a relationship. Oftentimes, these feelings are a result of unrealistic expectations from your partner. Being together does not mean you need to agree to everything. If your partner does not comply with all your expectations, then you need to walk back a few steps to reevaluate your expectations.
Nipping the Problem in its Bud
In majority of the cases, a clash escalates to days of silence and surmounting anger. However, a little clash can bring new ideas in the partnership, if viewed in a positive perspective. Listen to your partner's views and try to understand them. Talk about your expectations, fears and anxieties to each other over dinner. Be receptive and participate by being an active listener. Rationalizing with each other bridges the communication gap and helps in developing fresh perspectives about troublesome issues. Communication is the key to nipping the problem (cause) in the bud.
Assurance and Reassurance
Assuring and reassuring your partner is very important to keep uncertainties and insecurities at bay. Encouraging your partner's efforts, appreciating them and understanding their fears will reassure your partner of your love. Talk in a casual tone that seems friendly and helpful. An unrelenting partner can often take this talk as a condescending one. Thus, be wary of the words you use, talk less and listen more.
The dying flame of romance needs to be fueled to cope up with uncertainty in your relationship. Whether you are married or dating for a couple of years, it is important that you keep the spark alive and bring back love in your relationship. Head out for impromptu dates, cook him/her a nice meal once a week, spare at least 10 minutes a day for each other, leave love notes when you leave or send a 'miss you' message sometime in the day to rekindle your romance. Pick up an activity that both of you would like to do. For instance, cooking together, playing a sport or going to the gym are excellent ways to spend quality time with each other every day. And lastly, get the spontaneity of making intimate moments back in your relationship.
The answer for how to deal with uncertainty in a relationship lies in forgoing grudges, overcoming fears and dealing with your innate inhibitions. A relationship is full of surprises even in its worst phases. It is just about realizing the value of that bond to oversee the temporary obstacles in your way.