Things weren't as they used to be. Period. Gone are the days when you were a happily married couple. Today, 'happily' has vanished and left you with only being a married couple. Yes, there are times when you think this is just a phase and good things are on their way. There are times when you see the glass half full rather than half empty. But then, there are also times, when you want nothing else than this to end. However, how to know if it's the right decision? A question that has troubled many housewives over the years. When you leave someone, you leave behind a very beautiful part of your life, never to be revived again. If this is the price you have to pay, is it worth it? Let's find out!
Knowing if Divorce is the Right Decision
First, you need to go back to when all the trouble started. Try to remember when all the fights and all the suspicion started knocking at your door. We always put down all fights using the golden rule - we are not compatible. Nobody can ever be compatible with anyone without trying. You have to give in a little to take out a little for yourself. Instead of thinking that you are not compatible, try finding out the actual reason for those fights. It's either your mistake or his. Avoiding divorce should be your first and basic intention.
This exercise of sorts will tell you how to know if divorce is right for you. Take a small notebook and convert this into your diary. Write down all the problems you have fought over and all the issues you have with your husband. Write down every single detail that has led to this feeling in your married life. Once you have finished writing everything you can think of, keep the diary aside and don't look at it for a few days. Open it on a day when you feel absolutely all right, with nothing but happiness surrounding you. On this day, read through everything you have written and contemplate whether you are right and fair in thinking that it is your husband's fault. To think a bit further than that, ask yourself whether a divorce is the solution to these problems. If you feel that it is still very much required, then yes, divorce is perhaps the right decision.
Say No to Assumptions
All of us, you and me, always assume things to some extent. We all think we know exactly what the other person is thinking at times. But no, that isn't always true. If you accuse or blame someone of some wrongdoing, you have to give that person a chance to explain. Never think too much into anything, it spoils every relation almost instantly. Sit down with your spouse on a weekend and discuss your married life and the way it's heading to an end. Discuss the problems you have, with each other and also how these problems arose. Find a way that can make things all right again, for the both of you. Be a good listener from the start of the conversation, which will help it last longer. Put your heart out in front of your spouse and the outcome might just surprise you.
A Third Opinion
When you are done listening to yourself and nothing seems to work out, talk to others for advice. This will really help you in understanding how to know if divorce is the right decision. We are always bias to ourselves and that's only human, isn't it? Yes, there are times when we think rational but when the heart thinks more than the brain, it's time to seek help. You can talk to your friends and not, your colleagues. You need to talk to people who know you, and your spouse. If you feel any better, try to log in forums on the Internet and groups, which deal into counseling before divorce. Though I would suggest just the advice from friends, you can seek it anywhere that makes you feel better. The one thing you should be aware of is to not let negativity surround you all the time.
Think About the Children
If you have children, this is another major responsibility you have with you. It is very important for children to grow up in an emotionally healthy manner. Divorce will not only be the separation of you and your spouse, but also that of the family. Again, just because you have children, doesn't mean you make them live in an atmosphere that is always surrounded by tensions and problems. If your marriage is having a negative effect on your children, divorce might be the right decision to take. Working out things for the better is a quality of the matured, and if you think you both have it in you, give it a shot. If even one of you is not capable of doing the needed, it is time to quit. Whether you like it or not and how much ever normal it may seem, a divorce is a divorce, where you quit and refuse to put in more.
After thinking about what you just read, you should know when is the right time for divorce. I hope this information told you how to know, if divorce is the right decision. To sum up everything, divorce is the right decision only when there is no way that would lead to reconciliation. This is when hope says goodbye. If you think you really need some counseling, don't think twice and just visit a counselor. The more you think, the less reality you see and more the problems you create, just for yourself! After all, you do need to plan for your present to have a better future, don't you?