For most people the day that they decide to get married to their partner is one of the happiest days of their life. While deciding to get married is easy, ensuring that your relationship stands the test of time is difficult. Making a marriage work takes a lot of effort on the part of both people. It is important to understand this before you enter the bond of matrimony.
Premarital counseling plays a huge role in helping both individuals understand how well they understand their partner and what the areas in their life are, which will require work and compromise. It is important for both partners to learn how to handle fights in relationships and what the situations are that they will have to face once they start living together.
Many couples shy always from this type of tests fearing that the questions will be too personal and embarrassing. They also are scared by the prospect of it exposing the weakness in their relationship. It would be a mistake to think of counseling in this fashion. Look at it as a feature of your wedding planning that is as important as picking out the wedding gown. There is no magic potion that will sort out any problems that you have after marriage. Answering premarital questions that a counselor puts to you just brings forth the problems you have which will enable you to work towards solving them. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of discussing your problems with a stranger, you and your partner can take the test online
The Questions Asked
Such a questionnaire consists of several questions and most of these questions have to do with different areas like communication, personality, expectations from the marriage and from your spouse, sexual compatibility, children, role in relationship, finances, religious and spiritual beliefs, etc. Given below is a list of the most common questions.
- What is the reason for you and your partner getting married now? Are you sure that you are ready for a commitment like marriage?
- Do you know why your partner wants to get married and what his or her expectations from the marriage are?
- When you and your partner have an argument, how do you generally resolve the same?
- Do you and your partner truly understand each other and do you both make each other happy?
- Are there any habits that your partner has that you completely despise? If yes, then is your partner aware of your dislikes?
- Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
- Are you and your partner comfortable talking about sex and physical intimacy?
- Have you and your partner discussed financial planning for the future and how you intend to combine your finances?
- Have you and your partner discussed the need of a prenuptial agreement?
- In case both of you ever decide to get a divorce, have you talked about how the finances will be worked out?
- Have you and your partner discussed whether and when you will want to have children?
- Has there been any discussion about the division of housework after the marriage?
- How important are your friends and family to you? Has your partner been introduced to them?
Depending on the counselor, and the number of sessions you have with him, the kind of questions you and your partner are asked to answer may vary greatly. While it may seem like you are casting aspersions on your love for each other, if you think about it with maturity, pre-marriage counseling is very important to avoid misunderstandings that may crop up later on.