One’s profession becoming a deterrent in his/her marriage appears to be a surprising fact, but it is true in case of an LEO (Law Enforcement Officer). Still, there are many brave ladies out there who have, with their cop husbands, led an exceptionally challenging and successful married life. They know the pros and cons of being married to a cop better!
Spouses of cops are often part of some social organization or platform for cop wives, which act as crucial support systems for them.
“It is hard, it is hard! I cannot even think of getting married to a cop.” This exasperating reaction is nothing new to those who actually are married to a policeman. They hear it often, and are also tired of answering the same old questions, like “Don’t you fear he would be shot someday?”.
So, is it really that bad? Well, of course not. Because anyone can be shot dead, or just die in a car accident, or a terrorist attack, which is equally unforeseen. On a different note, in this case they say it is like marrying the ‘profession’ more than the ‘person’, since work is what decides most of the things for you in life. It isn’t as easy as it seems, for sure.
Benefits of Being Married to a Cop
Honor and Pride
Being the spouse of an LEO means a lot, really; the position of an officer itself is a respected one. Only you know how much the force has to sacrifice on the personal front to protect the public. Moments during official functions, while pinning the badge on his shirt, you suddenly realize why that person is so precious to you, even more than he was before. You feel honored and take immense pride in the work he does. If you are serving the nation as a cop too, may be in a different department, you can understand it perfectly well as a couple.
Builds Emotional Strength
Marrying a cop is no less than an attempt at suicide if you are emotionally weak, self-centered, or a dependent soul. Living with a person who takes care of others (who are not even acquaintances), leaving behind his family alone, teaches you a lot of lessons. Strength builds up from within day after day, to swallow all the fears and put up a brave smile on your face everyday.
Getting Away With Tickets
Since it is your husband after all, you might be spared from a punishment for a wrongdoing. You might get lucky at times to get away with a ticket for over-speeding. If this sounds like a moral catastrophe to you, be happy, for you have married a good officer.
You Get Your Free Time
If you are a working mother, or a housewife, in either case you have ample time left for yourself, because both your shift timings don’t always match (rather never). You can invest that free time in some hobby or passion of yours. Having different work hours leaves this individual space for both.
Reality of High Profile Cases
This is something that never happened before you married a cop. What comes out to the masses through the news is many times a very milder version of the truth, especially in some high profile cases. All the hidden facts are revealed to you by your husband cop.
Being Reviewed for Your Driving Skills
Only an LEO wife gets fortunate enough to have her driving skills seriously examined for free. Your cop husband is proficient at EVOC (Emergency Vehicle Operator’s Course) and at traffic laws. Learn from him!
Learning to Read People
The insights from the real-life stories you hear from your spouse might change your perspective towards the world around you. Over time, you also (like your policeman) learn to read people from small observations, like their body language, behavior, actions, etc. You know whom you can trust, and whom you cannot.
It is observed that cop marriages lead to individuals separating more often. Along with some advantages, there come many drawbacks too.
Disadvantages of Marrying a Cop
Coming home late and working extra hours are part of the routine, which forces you to settle down with many compromises related to family life. The relationship can suffer a lot, as two people with sometimes completely opposite fields of work try to mend their lives to make it all work. Overtime or changing shifts do not allow a ‘normal’ routine, or what is called a normal 8-hour day. However, if both work as police officers, or at least in similar kinds of duties, nothing like it.
Since they have to deal with a lot of tragic situations on a daily basis, it makes them quite cold as human beings. He also needs your support for him to work with a happy mind when he leaves you and the kids at home. Coping with the ‘not-being-together’ for longer periods creates a lot of stress. The constant fear for his safety, especially during critical emergencies or an ambush, is difficult to handle, for a lifetime. If you are a man who has a cop wife, it might take you some time before yo
No Social Life
It is understood that you will have to decline many family ‘get together’ invitations, since most of them are planned during festivals. Cop families cannot enjoy this festival time like any other normal family would. Long weekend plans cannot be made, because they never work. Several events, trips, or even a lunch/dinner date has to be canceled or postponed almost always, because he gets called upon.
Also, when it is a public holiday, and you want to take the kids to watch the fireworks, you have to do it all by yourself, as it is never a holiday for him. In fact, on these occasions, he might have to work more, even up to over 16 hours a day.
24 Hours On Duty
A major problem being married to a cop is with the working hours, because there is actually no such concept of work hours. They get a call and have to go as a back-up to some other team, to clear out some traffic, or because they got a 911 emergency. Life becomes totally unpredictable. You cook his favorite meal, but he arrives late. You put your kids to bed, and lie down always with a ear towards the door. Even your children learn to adapt to this uncertainty of life. This leaves hardly any time for the two of you to be together.
A woman who is a mother and a cop wife knows this very well. Family life, taking care of children, other household responsibilities, fixing broken stuff, running errands, scheduling health appointments for everyone, or attending parent-teacher conferences, be it any or all of these, she has to do it all alone. Not because the husband does not do it, but because he simply cannot. If you are married to a female cop, and you are not a cop yourself, the situation is the same. Gender bias doesn’t work here.
Being married to a cop is pretty hard, but you can learn to make a way out of it if you really want to. Because again, being judgmental about a bunch of people simply based on their work is next to foolishness.