Are you wondering why your boyfriend hasn’t called you yet? While this can be attributed to casual reasons, like being busy, lack of time, etc., it may also be caused due to disinterest in the relationship or moving on to find someone else. If you wish to find out what it means when a guy stops calling you, LoveBondings will explain the same along with its effects on your relationship.
“Longest minutes in life: 1. Waiting for food in the microwave. 2. Waiting for that one text/call from the one you love.”
Let’s imagine a scenario where you are toiling with the cell phone in your hand and waiting eagerly for your boyfriend’s call. Minutes roll into hours and hours into days. You try to call him but he never answers the phone. Unless you are a heroine of a soap opera, the chances that he is either lost on an isolated island, locked up somewhere on a hilltop where the mobile does not have a network, is killed by an ex-girlfriend, or has been abducted by aliens are far less.
It may straightaway mean that it is either because of his decision or your behavior that he may be walking out of the relationship. He may have either lost interest in the relationship, or found someone new. However, don’t get disheartened, as there is still hope. He may be sick, busy at work, or occupied with something else.
If you know why men generally do the ‘Houdini disappearing act’ midway into your relationship, then you will be able to handle it in a better way, or even avoid such situations. Here are a few reasons that will help you understand why a guy suddenly stops calling you.
Issues Related to You
You Both Got Sexually Intimate Too Soon and Too Often
If you didn’t follow the rule of 30 days or 60 days to get intimate and wound up together on the very first date, he might have misunderstood you as an ‘easy’ girl. While he did exactly the same thing as you did, there are men who are too fast to judge you. They may think that you always do the same on all your first dates. Also, if you are getting intimate too often with him, he may lose interest in you.
You Have Cheated or Lied to Him
He caught you red-handed with some other guy, or found out that you are cheating on him behind his back. Do you still expect him to pick your calls or call you back after you have cheated? If he was honest in your relationship, the least he would have expected was loyalty.
You Criticized and Complained Too Much
So, you don’t like his friends, his car, his job, his boss, his clothes, the color of his hair, or his dog for that matter. If you are constantly criticizing his choices or complaining about the lack of time or love in your relationship, he would rather choose to stay away from you to get some peace of mind.
You Were Too Possessive and Jealous
So, you had a row with him because he commented ‘nice’ on your best friend’s photo on Facebook. Being too possessive of your boyfriend will not be appreciated by him. Also, unwanted jealously on your part, based on the number of female friends he has on Facebook, or his close gal pals can seriously hamper your relationship. Also, if you give him a choice to choose between you and his Facebook friends, do I have to tell you what he will choose?
You Had No Respect for His Family and Friends
If you find his mom too fat or his best friend is your ‘worst enemy’, and you are explicitly vocal about it, then you are surely gonna make him lose interest in you. Like your own, every man has a close-knit circle of family and friends. If you end up calling them names, or do not get along with them, there are possibilities that it will influence your boyfriend in a negative way, and he may not like to speak with you anymore.
You Like to Cling to Your Guy
If you are thinking that clinging on to your boyfriend will make him love you more, then you are wrong. In fact, it will only push him away from you. If you are spending too much time together, it may affect his personal space. He will like his girlfriend to have other interests and hobbies in life, other than hanging out with him, and he would like to follow the same himself. Hence, if you act very clingy, he will be put off by it, which may be the end of it all.
You Want Him to Propose
So, you are all set to get hitched, but he may still need some amount of time to take the leap. And in such a scenario, if you keep dropping obvious hints, like speaking about one of your friends who got the rock, talking about some other guy to make him jealous, claiming what all you will do for your ‘wedding’, or what a great wife you will make, it will make him run away. He will rather choose not to talk and discuss this matter at all.
You Were Too Controlling
If you insist that he must wear the pink T-shirt that reads ‘I love my girlfriend’, which you got him for his birthday, every time you go on a date, he wouldn’t like it at all. Most men do not like to be with women who are controlling and always bossing them into doing things their way. Hence, he may prefer to keep away by not calling you.
You Have Been Accusing Him a Lot Lately
Your boyfriend might be genuinely busy with work and may not be finding time for you, but you do not buy this story, and accuse him of cheating on you. Not only this, but if you are blaming him for ruining your relationship every time he calls, your boyfriend may prefer not to call you at all.
You Need to Undertake Anger Management Classes
So, your anger hits the roof because he didn’t say ‘I love you’ for a whole one hour. Bursting into bouts of anger regularly can give signals that you can be a difficult girlfriend. This may also distance him from you. Hence, he may think it wise not to call you.
You Gave Him Too Much Information
So, you went to a rehab for your temporary alcohol addiction last year, but are sober now. Telling this to your date the very first time you go out, may not impress him. Not only this, but if you have discussed elaborately about the intimate details of your previous relationships, he may not take it lightly. He may get really offended if you broach such topics, which will make him doubt his decision of dating you.
Issues Related to Him
He Does Not Care For You
Is he being emotionally and physically distant from you? If you are the one to take initiatives in your relationship, like doing things to make his birthday special, or arranging for a special romantic date, then by all chances, this is a one-way affair. If you are the one running from pillar to post to express your feelings for him, and he is not even acknowledging them, get the signal that this guy is just not that into you.
He Just Treats You Like a ‘Booty Call’
It might be hard to believe, but there are certain men who get into a relationship just for getting physical. If you got intimate too early in your relationship, your boyfriend may be wanting to move out of it as his purpose is served. Therefore, he will start ignoring you by not taking your calls or calling you back, as he will now be on the lookout for someone else.
He Thinks He Needs Some Space
Does your boyfriend avoid you off late? Would he spend his weekends with his pals, rather than hanging out with you? In addition to this, if he is not calling you or answering your calls, he may be needing some space and wanting to spend some quality ‘me’ time. Don’t worry in this case; there are chances that he will give you a call once his quest for ‘space’ is over.
He Thinks You Are Childish
A man may want his girlfriend to be socially mature and intellectual; someone who will have the ability to look beyond her ‘physical’ and ’emotional’ needs. If you are speaking to him in a babyish way, calling him with all kinds of ‘sissy’ pet names, throwing tantrums, or acting like a 5-year-old, it may seriously make him feel that you are childish. This may act as a major turn-off.
He Has Moved On to ‘Greener Pastures’
We all have seen how men and women just walk out of their existing relationships when they get attracted to someone else. There is a possibility that your boyfriend has found someone else and does not know how to break the news to you. Hence, he may not be calling you.
He Wants to Think It Over
If your relationship is not going the way it should, or is relatively newer, then your boyfriend may be requiring some time to really think it over. He may be judging the pros and cons of taking the relationship further and giving it a serious thought. He may have isolated himself from you, so that he could clearly think it out.
He Is Caught Up in Lots of Work
As much as you find it hard to believe, but he may be seriously buried under a huge pile of work at his office and may be coming home only to catch a wink. One of my friends was heartbroken when her new boyfriend didn’t call her the whole week, only to emerge at her doorstep on Sunday morning with a bunch of flowers. He said he was extremely busy at work and couldn’t find time call her up. Well, what to say, they are happily married now. So, showing a little trust can help sometimes.
He Misses the ‘Chasing’ In Your Relationship
There is an initial thrill in every relationship that gives you and your boyfriend excitement. Once you are in a relationship, there are no ‘butterflies in the stomach’ moments, as you already know the other person. Many men find this boring and long for the excitement that they experienced during the ‘chase’, which often leads them to flirt with other women. This may cause them to ignore you by not calling you.
He May Be Commitment-phobic
If you have sat down and had the “talk” about the future of your relationship, it may prove disastrous to a commitment-phobic man. He will look at you as someone who wants to bind him down or end his freedom. He may perceive this as a signal that you are now looking forward to marriage, for which he is not ready at all. This will drive him away from you, and he will not call you like he used to.
He Is Feeling Claustrophobic in the Relationship
So, you called him up every hour to check on him, or whether he has eaten or not. Honestly speaking, many men find such relationships claustrophobic. They compartmentalize their life and like to concentrate completely on a particular compartment. For example, when they are at work, they focus their energies on it. If you are continuously on their prowl, they will not appreciate it.
He Thinks You Are Not His Ms. Right
No matter how much you love or care for him, he won’t budge until he sees you as his ideal Ms. Right. If he feels that he can get a better ‘catch’, he is not going to invest in you financially or emotionally. He may just send signals by not calling you, as he may not see a future with you.
He Does Not Find You Exciting or Mysterious
You may have bored him to death by talking about yourself, gossiping about your friends, and even telling him about what gives you acidity and what does not. Men like to be around women who are mysterious. You should have an air, or charm, as well as suspense about you. If you have revealed too many cards, he may not find you exciting anymore.
Apart from this, he may not call you if you show him your not-so-good side, like indulging in alcohol, drugs, deviant sexual techniques, etc. Also, your boyfriend may be a tech-savvy, new-age youngster who does not believe in the ‘beaten to death’ way of romancing over the phone. He may prefer to use email, chat, social networking websites, or SMSes to get in touch with you. So, wait for sometime, as hope is not all lost. Keep an eye for any communication from his end through other means as well. No matter what you do, don’t sound dramatic and desperate to have him call you. It will only result in adding insult to injury.