Cheaters incorporate various methods to cheat in a relationship. There are several types of cheating and knowing them will help you to recognize and deal with the cheater in a better way. LoveBondings will give you information about the various types of cheating in relationships.
Facebook is like a relationship: Faithful on your wall, but cheating in their inbox.
According to Statistic Brain, in about 41% of marriages, one or both spouses admit to physical or emotional infidelity. Yes, these alarming statistics show that if your spouse or partner is cheating on you, then you are not the only one undergoing this situation.
If you have a doubt that your spouse or partner is cheating on you, you must investigate the matter and confront him for the actions. You must look for signals in their behavior, body language, phone records, credit card bills, etc., to gather evidence.
Men or women will cheat on their partners in various ways. The modus operandi for cheating will vary from person to person. Hence, it is essential that you are aware about the different types of infidelity. Here are few types of cheating in a relationship along with their warning signs.
Disclaimer: While mentioning the warning signs, this article makes use of male pronouns. It should be noted that this usage is only for convenience of reading and does not intend to hurt the sentiments of our male readers.
The Emotional Affair
This is one of the most dangerous forms of cheating. That’s because a physical attachment may vanish over a period of time, but an emotional one may continue forever. Physical intimacy may only be a part of the emotional attachment where the cheater will be heavily dependent for emotional needs on the other person.
For example, the cheater may think that the new person in life is like a soulmate, and may go on to share his aspirations, dreams, fears, intimate thoughts, experiences, and plans with that person. So much so, that his own partner or spouse may be completely sidelined from his life, and may even lose his love, respect, and affection. Also, he may constantly compare his partner with this person, either verbally or mentally, and may always find that his comfort lies with the latter.
►He introduces the new person as his “best friend”.
►He shares intimate issues and talks with that person.
►He claims that no one else, not even you understand him better than her.
►He is constantly comparing you with her and finding you inadequate.
►He is always exchanging gifts with that person.
►He spends a lot of time with her.
The Physical Affair
Many people find it super exciting to indulge in physical intimacy with a person they hardly know. This means that there is a possibility that your partner will jump at the very opportunity of having a one-night fling or physical affair with someone else. Many people are so naive that they believe the lame stories of their spouse/partner.
Sometimes, a partner may claim that he accidentally got drunk and hence, got physical with someone else. Most of the time, it won’t be an accident but a planned action. Many prefer to let go of this mistake as the involvement is temporary and at a strictly physical level. There is no emotional attachment between the two parties whatsoever. However, think before you forgive your spouse as it is also one of the most common types of cheating. Also, there is no guarantee that the person who cheated on his spouse once, will not do it again.
►You have a gut feeling that he is cheating on you.
►He does not come home for an entire night and gives some lame reasons.
►You find unaccountable hotel and motel records on his credit card bill.
►Suddenly he knows new techniques about getting physical.
►There are telltale signs, like lipstick marks, female scent, etc., on his garments.
The Long-term Affair
This is certainly more sinister than having just a fling. People who have a long-term affair are into it for both physical and emotional benefits. There is a strong physical and psychological bond between the two. Also, having a long-term affair provides the person with the mental support and understanding which the spouse or partner cannot provide. Sometimes, this affair continues for years together, and the spouse does not even realize that her partner has been cheating all along.
There have been cases where the cheating partner has continued to live with the mistress by dumping the current partner. However, serial cheaters find it difficult to mend their old ways. Hence, at times, the partner leaves his wife only to marry his long-term mistress and later, cheat on her as well.
►He may introduce her to you as his closest friend.
►He makes it a point to be by her side whenever she needs him.
►He helps her out monetarily and showers her with gifts.
►He begins to distance himself from you emotionally and physically.
►He no longer needs you in his life.
►He likes to spend his weekends and holidays at ‘work’.
The Short-term Fling
Women and men the world over keep a close watch on their partners to check if they are having an affair with someone. This kind of affair is longer than a one-night stand but shorter than a long-term affair. Most of the time, cheaters who conduct such affairs live two lives. They are the regular dotting parents at home, while they continue to secretly pursue their love interest outside.
While some cheaters can be easily apprehended, there are others who cautiously carry on with their affairs without the knowledge of their spouse. They take meticulous care not to be spotted in public or do anything that will make their affair conspicuous. When the partner of such a cheater comes to know about the affair, the trust in the relationship is broken.
►He starts taking extra care of his appearance.
►Many times, his phone is unreachable and he comes home late.
►He may be extra nice to you as he wants to compensate for his guilt.
►He likes to spend his free time doing his own ‘things’.
►His number of business trips have increased lately.
►He seems to have grown distant from you.
The Narcissist Cheater
This one believes that he has the privileged right to cheat on his spouse or partner. If he sees someone and likes what he sees, he will not give it a moral thought and will approach the person right away. He cares two hoots about the feelings of his spouse or anyone else other than him for that matter. Such personalities are very easy to judge.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist person or are married to one, you will easily be able to make out when they are cheating on you. Also, as these people are very selfish, they will show little remorse for what they have done and will resort to a similar action yet again. Most of the time, they will not accept their fault and blame your behavior, lack of sexual activeness, looks, etc., for their infidelity.
►He may lie to you about his time.
►He may be “chexting” (cheat texting) a lot.
►He may get overtly argumentative.
►He may exhibit lack of interest in physical intimacy.
►He may take extra interest in someone.
►He may spend hours grooming himself.
The Sex Addict Cheat
Like the addiction of alcohol, drugs, etc., there are people who are addicted to sex. This addiction not only affects the person but also his spouse adversely. No matter how many times they get physically intimate, it is just not enough for them. What do these people do then? They resort to serial cheating, visiting sex workers, watching porn, etc. Though sex addiction can be safely called a mental illness, it cannot compensate for infidelity or bad behavior.
It does not give a person a license to cheat on the spouse. Moreover, having sex with multiple partners can make the person as well as his spouse prone to many health risks. It is indeed very difficult to expect fidelity from a person who has sexual addiction. Like any other addiction, if not treated, it will only continue to intensify, causing more heartbreak for the spouse.
►He may spend a lot of time on computer watching porn.
►There may be unexplained receipts and a hefty phone bill.
►He may be extra concerned about the health of his sexual organs.
►He may spend a lot of unaccounted time outside.
►He may talk about sex all the time and may become emotionally unavailable.
►He may openly flirt with anyone of the opposite sex.
With the invention of mobile phones, the lives of cheaters have become easier. Now, they can cheat on their better halves without the latter even getting a hint about it. If your partner is going to the other room and closing the door at 1 am in the night because his ‘boss’ just called, it should raise an alarm. Some even send sexual or romantic text messages.
In popular culture, cheating by sending mobile text messages is called chexting. Many people lock their phones away and their spouses do not have access to the history of their phone records. Not only this, many people resort to talking to their new love interest for hours at a stretch, get involved in phone sex, text sexually explicit content to each other, and even share intimate pictures.
►There are many calls and messages to a particular number in the phone bill.
►Many calls and messages come at odd hours.
►He carries the phone even to the bathroom; basically, he does not leave it alone.
►He does not let you take a look at the bill.
►He keeps the phone locked and is secretive about it.
►He obsessively replies to messages the moment they come.
With the increase in the usage of Internet and advent of many social networking websites, online cheating has become rampant. While it is far easier to keep an eye on what your partner or spouse does in real life, it is very difficult to keep a track of his virtual life. People who cheat virtually, oftentimes, use alternate identities, and their partners do not suspect them.
Sometimes, they even hook up with people they meet online for sexual or romantic liaisons. They even resort to cheating by visiting pornographic websites, flirting openly on social networking sites, having hidden social networking profiles to attract others, having cyber sex, dating others online, etc.
►He is addicted to the Internet.
►He may not share his password easily.
►He keeps the phone and computer away from you.
►He may not add you to social networking websites.
►He suddenly closes a web page or chat window when you walk inside the room.
►He keeps on clearing his computer browsing history.
Other Types of Cheating
ø There are cheaters who cheat on their spouse with people known to both of them, like sister-in-law, neighbor, wife’s best friend, etc.
ø Then there are those who cheat for their career advancement at office.
ø There are also the ones who still feel that they are still bachelors and are on a constant lookout for flings.
ø Also, there are those that claim to be single and date women in spite of having wife and children.
ø There is also a type of cheating, where the person gets someone to their own house when his wife is away.
Don’t lose hope if you have found that your spouse or partner has been cheating. Sit with him and talk about how you feel when he cheats on you. You may also take help of a therapist or counselor. According to Statistic Brain, about 31% of marriages last after an affair is admitted or discovered. So, there is hope that your spouse or partner may recover and so will your relationship. However, if it does not work out, move on in life and find someone who will provide you with the kind of love and respect you deserve.