We are surrounded by people we adore and cherish. However, we often find ourselves fighting with them. This might sound weird, but it’s natural to have family feuds. But have you ever wondered why we do so? Here’s shedding a spotlight on some of the reasons why we fight with those we love.
The level of comfort we share with those closest to us blinds us in many ways. We begin expecting that our loved ones understand things that haven’t been said, or to pick up on our random social cues. Failing which, we’re disappointed, and are frustrated to the point of getting into fights.
As the years pass, we set ourselves in certain roles. Certain things are expected from us, which we must do. Over a period of time, more expectations are piled on, and we find ourselves with the weight of our world weighing in on us; while we perceive others to be enjoying a carefree life. We begin to feel jealous, used, and taken for granted. This is another reason why we fight with the people we are closest to.
Let’s just say it. We are insecure creatures, be it with an addition to the family like a younger sibling, or not getting adequate quality time with our significant other. We get jealous and insecure. To make ourselves feel secure, or to see our place in others lives, we say things that shouldn’t be said. We stoop to the level of instigating fights in order to reveal our feelings.
Most of us have a tendency to keep our feelings bottled up. Over time, we find ourselves with pent-up anger brewing to loathe. It reaches a point that it pours out over our loved ones, causing nasty, regrettable fight.
Words can be woven into a thornless bed of roses or be turned into a bed of thorns. But when things are left unexplained or – even worse – unsaid, it works as an open wound, refusing to heal. It slowly but steadily begins to decay a relationship, and in the process continues to give rise to more and more fights and arguments with those we love.
Trivial misunderstandings caused by the choice of words, situations, tone, and volume plays a key role in hurting the ego of others. This causes a major failure to understand the other person’s point of view, causing more fights.
We often find ourselves set in our monotonous lifestyles, running from pillar to post between job(s) and home, or simply running a world of errands for our loved ones. We even go beyond our means to fulfill their wishes, only to find ourselves neglected and alone. We begin to crave for some attention, if not for acknowledgment for all we do. This causes a lot of friction, and we end up fighting with our loved ones.
We all have our pet peeves, whether it’s biting our nails, being picky, overly judgmental, cribbing, etc. At first, these little quirks are cute and adorable, but on the onset of a fight, they quickly turn into sour and annoying habits, which cause us to blow our tops and get into a fight.
Okay, let’s face it, we’d like things to go our way all the time. You know it as well as I do, that that’s not happening. But every once in a while, we all like to get things done our way. This again is where egos clash, causing friction and instigating a fight with the people who are closest to us.
Now that you know the reasons why we fight with those we love, let’s try and remember that, while fighting is healthy, too much fighting can leave you and others with deep emotional scars, which may not be able to be overcome. Simple way is to choose your words wisely.