Not everyone has a storybook relationship. At times, we get into relationships which change us for good. One such relationship is the back burner relationship, in which you feel both, used and taken for granted.
When it comes to ‘commitment’, flirting is as far as the other person will go. When they’re around you, they’ll flirt to the moon and back. They’ll even add in some serious moves. But that’s about it.
Timing always seems to be wrong. It’s as if they are waiting for the perfect weather, which is never coming. Though the time seems to be ‘perfect’ when they meet someone new. But when it comes to you, they always find reasons to wait.
Your communication is periodic and exists mostly via gadgets. Your conversations take place on messengers, comments, texts, and tweets. These too are inconsistent and subject to conditions, which means, conversations take place mostly when the other person is free and has no one to entertain them.
They joke around with the possibility of being together. They say that they can’t be with you… right now, because they have some things or the other going on in their life. The ‘right now’ bit of the sentence keeps you stringing along for a while longer. They may even throw in deals like “…by the time we’re 40 and still single, we’ll marry each other”.
They want to be with you on their terms. You’re there only when they need you. They treat you like a spare tire or backup plan, which mostly means that you come into the picture at the last possible moment, that too when their first choice has failed; for example, when a date to a wedding has bailed on them. But that’s as far as the commitment goes.
They date freely and get into relationships. But what’s worse is, they call you when they have a fight with their significant other. They discuss everything with you, till the point when you begin to feel like the three of you are in a relationship.
They maintain a subtle relationship with you, without having to invest in the ‘relationship’. Your ‘relationship’ often borders on friendship and relationship, keeping you guessing every second. As for you, the status remains unchanged, as ‘it’s complicated’.
They come to you for dating advice, but get annoyed when you talk about your dating problems. They get jealous and possessive about you.
Since you’re mostly the backup for everything, it’s not a big surprise when your plans get canceled, even if you’re ready to go. Once a plan is made, your heart skips a beat every time you get a call, wondering if the plan just got canceled.