He comes home late one night, smelling of perfume and whiskey. Before this day, she never questioned him of what goes on while he's at work. But today, it's a different day. Today he stepped through those doors, looking like a changed man. Red lights are flashing, blinking more prominently than usual and so, it had to be done. She followed him the next evening, waiting, wondering what he's up to. Then... something unexpected happened. Her heart sinks lower than the earth underneath her feet as he's kissing her best friend in public.
Revenge affair; an eye for an eye. How many times has it happened that in a relationship, one of the partners is caught cheating on the other, and the notion of revenge has ignited. The pain, sorrow, embarrassment, and heartache caused by infidelity can never be forgotten, no matter how long it may have been. Every individual has their own way of handling situations like this and they try to come out of it, hopefully a little less heartbroken.
Very few of them can admit to the fact that they opted for the high road and didn't want to deal with the mess created by someone else. Only life isn't always this easy or fair, and the heartache caused can make you do things you wouldn't normally think was sane. Grief from a broken, unfaithful relationship quickly turns into rage, and eventually revenge. The desire to make the other person go through the same emotions as you did wishes to be set free, and that evolves into you screwing over your cheating partner.
What's in an Affair
First of all, whoever came up with this concept is a genius. Now, I don't particularly support or contradict the ideology behind an affair provoked by revenge, I'm simply amazed by the whole notion. What this type of affair means is that let's say you're in a relationship - married, about to be married, engaged, or dating.
Regardless of which stage you are in, we'll just assume that the guy cheated on the girl with someone else. In this whole situation, the girl somehow finds out and instead of confronting him or breaking up, she decides to take revenge. So what she does is, finds someone (a friend, ex-boyfriend, a complete stranger) and starts to have an affair with him. Whether or not she develops feelings for this new guy, the intentions are for her cheating boyfriend/husband/fiancé to find out that she's cheating on him and to make herself feel better.
Effects of Revenge on a Relationship
Whether the reasoning behind starting an affair solely because of rage and revenge is right or wrong, your actions can have repercussions. At times, revenge does seem like a sweeter, more desirable option. But in the end, it does contain a bitter aftertaste. In the beginning, when you've just found out about your deceiving partner, it would seem like the only way to deal with all of this is through anger, rage, and ultimately revenge. In all truthfulness, revenge does sound sweeter than honey, but it comes with its own baggage.
You might feel exhilarated with the thought that it's not just your partner who can play this game. Since you know about his/her affair, perhaps you think that once he/she finds out about your affair, he/she would apologize and want to come back. Or if we look at the scenario from a completely different point of view, maybe you want him/her to suffer the same pain, betrayal, and heartache as you once felt.
Whatever the reason behind this affair may be, in the end, it's only you who has to deal with it. Getting over an affair is not easy, but lowering yourself to their level, losing face in front of yourself is not the only way. You may think that the pain you went through could be inflicted to your partner by this affair, but the results could be either way. If he/she was oblivious enough to have an affair in the first place and cheat on you, what makes you think that he/she would give a damn. Your dignity and self-esteem are the two most important things in your life, so don't waste it after an adulterous partner.
Such affairs don't last for a long time because they are in the picture simply because you're angry. Whether you decide to give this new relationship a try or not, it was not developed on the basis of reality and desire to be with that person. Every individual's mindset is different when it comes to matters of the heart. At this stage in your life, you are intelligent enough to make the decisions that are right for you.