The most annoying thing about crushes is that they come without any warning until one fine day, you realize that you can’t imagine your day without being in touch with this person. But what if your feelings aren’t reciprocated in the same way? LoveBondings gives you the 8 obvious signs that show your crush sees you just as a friend, and nothing more.
Can a guy and girl be ‘only’ good friends?
We asked this question to quite a lot of guys around. The answers were: Yes, no, and you never know! However, this one answer was really interesting―Yes, but only if the other one is less attractive and doesn’t know how to carry himself/herself!
These answers only show how important it is for both, the girl and the guy, to be attracted to each other. Alas, that doesn’t always happen! We all have been through the terrible phase of having a one-sided crush on this “good friend” of ours. A phase when your heart skips a beat when he/she suddenly sends you a message, where you get all self-conscious and take that extra effort to look nice when he/she is about to meet you, where you can’t spend a day without keeping in touch with that person in some way or the other. There are a lot of stupid, little, dumb, and illogical thoughts that will influence your actions, signifying that you have a crush on someone.
You know, when we go through this phase, we end up thinking things that we want to believe. A normal smile from your crush would seem like a sure sign that your feelings are being reciprocated. A normal line, “Hey, where have you been?” may seem as if this person has been missing you the same way you’ve been missing him. A complimenting line that says, “You are my best buddy” may sound like, “Baby, I can’t live without you”! But sweetheart, you need to pop the bubble, and brace yourself to face reality. Know if these feelings are one-sided, or not.
Sure Signs That Signify You Are ‘Friendzoned’!
For starters, it is always better to confide in a friend with your feelings. This is absolutely essential, because the opinion of a person who is not lovesick like you, matters a lot, because that person is not wearing rose-colored glasses. Just go through the signs listed below, and get rid of the possible misunderstandings.
1. You are the one who initiates everything
Don’t take this as a sign that you are “in control” when it comes to striking a conversation or making plans, this means that your crush isn’t really bothered. If you always happen to be the first one to text, call, or catch up with your crush, chances are that you are the only one thinking of him/her all the time, while your crush is busy with his/her life. To add to this, if your crush takes his/her own sweet time to respond to your texts or calls, or maybe doesn’t respond at all, take this to be a sign that you should mellow down with the initiation, because you two are not thinking on the same lines.
2. You two are never alone
Has it ever happened to you, that you plan a perfect outing with your crush, just so that you could get to know him/her better, or perhaps, speak your heart out, and he/she ends up inviting other common friends? As annoying and nerve-wracking it may be, you still give it a try over and over again, and you end up getting stuck in the same situation. Darling, if your crush also had a crush on you, it would not happen more than twice. If your crush doesn’t want to make it look like a “date”, he/she will make sure that there are more people around. So, yeah, consider this sign to be a definite downer.
3. Your crush discusses the “opposite-sex” talks
Unless your crush is doing so to make you feel jealous, which becomes pretty obvious with time, the fact is that a person who is infatuated by you would never openly discuss the opposite sex with you. If your friendship equals being your crush’s relationship counselor or dating adviser, where he/she keeps you updated with whatever is happening in their romantic life, shows you pictures or messages of the girl/boy he/she has been flirting with, chances are sweetheart, you’re just a friend he/she confides in! It’s definitely a good sign for friendship, but perhaps your chances aren’t that bright when it comes to a relationship with this person.
4. You are always introduced as a friend
Oh, how you wish you were introduced as his girl, or her guy, but for now, all you hear is, “meet this friend of mine”. To add to it, if someone happens to think that you two are a couple, your crush responds with a laugh that shouts, “Don’t be ridiculous”! Well, different people respond to this ‘assumption’ differently. If he/she just smiles and says no, maybe he/she wouldn’t mind it happening in the future, but is not thinking on those lines as of now. On the other hand, if he/she reacts like he’s never heard a better joke, or responds in a way that offends you in some way or the other, maybe you shouldn’t keep your hopes high.
5. He/she tries to hook you up with a friend
Seriously, someone who is crushing on you may talk about hooking you up with someone else, perhaps to see how you respond to the idea, but if it’s actually happening, there are no two ways about it―in their eyes, you are a friend who needs to be paired with a worthy date, asap! That’s what you would do to a good single ‘friend’ of yours, right?
6. If you end up staying overnight, nothing happens beyond sleep
If he/she considers you a true friend, there wouldn’t be any awkwardness if there were to arise a situation where an overnight stay happens. And there definitely wouldn’t be any moves from your crush’s end, provided he/she is in their senses (no drugs, booze, or substance abuse). Again, this sign is void if you’re a girl crushing on a guy and end up throwing yourself on him. Remember, guys don’t have a great deal of self-control in such situations. So, even if something does happen, don’t take it as a sign that your feelings are reciprocated. If you hear an apology, argument, or get a cold shoulder the next morning, know that what happened was in that moment. It really doesn’t mean anything.
7. Your crush isn’t jealous when you flirt with another person
Oh, how many times do we try to do this―flirt with a close friend of theirs to see them burning with jealousy! It is different when they forcibly try to hook you up with a friend of theirs, and when you voluntarily flirt with someone else. Does it smell like something’s burning? Do you see your crush getting uncomfortable watching you get cozy with someone else? While you would die to see that happening, if it doesn’t, get it straight that he/she considers you a good friend, and that’s that.
8. He/she starts dating … someone else!
There cannot be a clearer sign than this! The confusion ends when there enters a third person between the two of you. And this is when the bubble where you have been living and building on your dreams, finally bursts for good. It’s funny, but this is the time when you realize how stupid you were to think of your “friend’s” stupid immature-ish gestures, as something as stupid as love. If you have brains―which you would definitely get back after this experience―you would get a grip on yourself, be happy for your “friend”, and move on.
Scientists say that getting attracted to another person is a chemical process that takes place in the brain. What scientists can’t explain is that why can’t this process occur in both people at the same time so that there is no room for any confusion, and no wastage of time and emotions. Nonetheless, we suggest to think of yourself first, be your own friend first, learn to love yourself just the way you are, and in doing so, forget about these heartaches, and focus on other enchanting things in this world―begin with partying this weekend and having some fun!