Every couple goes through difficult times and has to grapple with certain issues. However, this doesn’t mean that you call it quits and give up. Taking a short break from your troubled relationship is one the best options to sort out your problems.
If you and your partner are at loggerheads and can’t seem to get over certain issues, then taking a break in your relationship might be for the best. Here is a guide to help you handle your break in a healthy manner.
It’s Time for a Break!
The ‘drama’ of a relationship, as well as the proximity to the one you love, can often hinder clarity of thoughts. A break allows you to calm your mind, by removing yourself from the situation. Here is a list of situations that demand such a break.
✦ If your relationship is moving forward way too fast than you can handle.
✦ If you feel that your relationship has lost its initial charm and you have started feeling out of love.
✦ If there happen to be continuous misunderstandings between both of you and they are only increasing with time.
✦ If you experience a loss of mutual respect through words or actions.
✦ If you feel a lack of sufficient personal space and freedom in your relationship.
✦ If you feel you are sexually incompatible for each other.
✦ If you feel that you are being taken for granted by your partner most of the time.
✦ If you see yourself not trusting your partner, and vice versa.
✦ If you see yourself increasingly avoiding communication with him/her.
✦ It is essential that your partner comes to know about your intention directly from you. Avoid involving any mediator, such as a common friend. Doing so is likely to make matters worse.
✦ Never express your wish to take a break during a fight. It might end your fight abruptly, with several unsolved issues as well as resentment. It is essential to resolve the fight first, and bring up the topic when things have calmed down.
✦ Make sure you tell your partner that the break is not meant to be a punishment, but just a mature way for you to cleanse your thoughts. Your partner may try to change your mind. However, it is essential to stick to your decision.
✦ Points such as duration of the break can be discussed while communicating your intention. However, it is recommended that you avoid fixing a specific date to end this break. You never know the amount of time you might require to reach certain conclusions.
✦ Decide if the break should have partial or zero communication. In the former, you or your partner might decide to communicate say once a week, while in the latter, communication should take place only in case of specific emergencies.
✦ Use the break to look at your relationship from an unbiased point of view. Be honest and go to the root of the problems. Acknowledge your faults if any, and try to understand how they caused a friction in your relation.
✦ Indulge in your favorite hobbies to keep yourself occupied during this thought process. Catch up with your friends by planning a movie or a dinner.
✦ Give yourself a makeover, travel to new places, learn a new hobby; basically anything that helps you to rediscover yourself.
✦ Take a piece of paper and create a balance sheet of your relationship. Note down all the positive aspects about your relationship on the assets side and the negative ones on the liabilities side. If there are more points in assets than liabilities, then this relationship is certainly something worth holding on to.
✦ Remember, there is a major difference between taking a break and an actual break up. Avoid flirting, stay away from rebounds, and genuinely think of working on your relationship.
✦ Avoid discussing the relationship, or the break in general with your friends. Your words might reach your partner, turning your relationship sour permanently.
✦ Do not reject your partner’s phone calls. It’s wrong to completely block someone out of your life, specially someone who is emotionally attached to you.
✦ Loneliness can make you crave for your partner’s company. However, it is best to avoid any physical contact with your partner. To reap long-term peace in your relationship, you might have to give up on your short-term desires.
✦ Taking a break helps you make peace with your relationship issues in a far better way than in the company of your partner. It gives you a peaceful environment to sit and ponder. It enables you to judge exactly what your relationship and partner mean to you. Is this relationship encouraging your personal growth as a person or is it just going on without a purpose and meaning?
✦ This is also a golden opportunity to be yourself, and imagine a life being single; independent of any other company. If you find yourself really happy with this break, and do not see yourself going back, then you have your answer. It means you need a permanent break from this relationship.
✦ On the other hand, this break might help some of you to recognize the bright side. You might start viewing things in a different light. In such a case, it is necessary to honestly accept that you want to continue and resolve all issues with a fresh perspective.
✦ This break can be an eye opener for many. If in that time, you or your partner are unable to stay faithful, then you should ideally part ways. Also, if in the end, one of you decides to walk away, it’ll only be fair to let go.
✦ In case the outcome of this break is positive, do not delay talking to your partner, or expect him/her to make the first move. Also, do not hold on to your ego and/or any clashes you had in the past. Instead, concentrate on bringing a positive change in your relation.
Ernest Hemingway has rightly said that, “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” The best outcome of this break would be if both of you unite with a renewed commitment towards each other. Don’t be afraid to let go. Instead, look at this break as an opportunity. For all you know, both of you will come out better and stronger than ever before.