We are facing a boom in the world of technology, but there is a drastic downfall in the statistics of a successful and happy marriage. So what are the problems? Why are the number of divorces increasing day by day? When a couple is in a dating mode, things are just fine. They care for each other, they value each others opinions, preferences, and time. They make every attempt to make the relationship, and try to keep up the trust of their partner. So why do all these things which gave you joy become worse than a much hated job. Relationships and marriages are just the same, nothing changes except the tags of husband and wife, and the commitment gets deeper. In this article, we understand the causes leading to the failure of a marriage, and why everything changes once you get married.
There was a time when you would even give your life for your spouse, and now you are hunting for tips to save a marriage from divorce. Don't you feel in the middle of nowhere? So what happened? How did this joyous reunion of two people who love each other, become worse than hell itself! Take time out, sit and relax, and think what went wrong. If your spouse is too carefree to think about you two, it's time you buckle up and take charge.
Common Reasons Why Marriages Fail
The numbers are still the same - one out of every two marriages fail. That means half of the nuptials end up seeing a divorce attorney. With divorce becoming easy to opt for, it's very obvious that couples who face little problems just leave everything, and head for the courts. Marriage needs patience, understanding, trust, effective verbal communication, healthy physical and emotional relationship, and the most important - love and care for each other.
» No Trust
The #1 spot is bagged by lack of trust. This is one of the prime reasons for divorce. This tough doubt actually has a very simple solution. Shower your partner with love and care everyday, trust never plans on loving someone, or telling them how much they mean to you. When you want to say something just say it, don't wait for the right moment. This lack of trust arrives especially in women after they have kids. They think that their husbands don't find them attractive enough. So, talk to your partner, and make her realize that she is your special someone.
» Society Values
Teens and young adults think marriage is a joke. The importance and the value of marriage that was once worthy in society is now just a joke and nothing else. People can rush off to Las Vegas, and get married on the spot regardless of your background. You can be in a live-in relationship, and have kids without getting married. These options devalue the authenticity of marriage.
» Financial Difficulties
Believe it or not people who have a steady and well established income have a greater chance of not getting a divorce. People hate to admit it but money makes a difference. Where there is less money, people become nervous and frustrated with their partners and their life. If you have an established income, chances are that your marriage may last longer.
» Taking Partners for Granted
You must have spent lots of time chasing and attracting your spouse. This effort should never end, not on the wedding day, not ever. If you are not working hard enough to make yourself attractive to your spouse, there are higher chances that he/she may start looking somewhere else for comfort. So, if you are looking out for answers on failed marriages, this option can be counted as one of the top five.
» Marrying Too Soon
This is one of the most common cause for the breaking of a marriage. Most people in this world are afraid, that they are going to end up alone, and pop the question too soon. However, it is best to get to know your would-be in detail before popping the question.
This just doesn't mean that the person is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Addiction can be anything from having inhuman behavior, gambling, and even sex. If you think you have an addiction, get yourself checked before your marriage goes for a toss. Once you admit that you have a problem, it becomes very easy to deal with the problem. Also, make sure you do tell your spouse about it, so that you can both give each other good relationship advice.
» Sex and Infidelity
Lack of sex and passion in a marriage can often lead to a divorce. Marriages are based on strong foundations of a healthy physical intimacy, and if that doesn't exist, it's time to go for counseling. Such problems have solutions, and can be solved if worked on properly. While a cheating spouse or infidelity is a serious blow to a relationship, there are couples who have often worked this problem out, and stayed together.
» The In-Laws Factor
Coming at #8 on the list is the constant interference of in-laws of the husband or the wife. Parents who do not stay out of their kid's married life, often cause problems between them. Advice and help should be taken from the elders in times of crisis, but couples shouldn't allow any outside interference when it comes to taking control over their lives. Couples should stand together and show that their marriage is the most important, and not let the parents put an unhealthy influence on the relationship.
» Past Fears or Relationships
Many times people bring the excess baggage of their past relationships in the marriage. This doesn't allow them to open up, and get emotionally or physically involved with their partner. This could actually lead to a physical or emotional divorce. The best way to avoid it is to seek counseling before you exchange rings.
» Marriages Not Based on Love
The last name on the list is the one factor that wins all - love. If there's no love in a marriage, there's nothing left in it. Most people get married due to pressure from family and relatives, but that shouldn't be the case. Most of them just see their friends getting married, so they also jump the wagon. Others get married because of premarital pregnancy. Young couples are immature to understand the meaning and responsibility that comes with a marriage. They soon realize that they don't love the each other, and start thinking about ending the relationship.
Deciding to divorce is a hasty decision, and such decisions always go wrong. Marriage is not a room that you go in and out of. It's for keeps, and try to keep up that way.