A divorce ceremony is a way of ending a marriage in a positive way, making the divorce amicable. Let’s see how.
Getting a divorce has now become a common occurrence. Approximately 50% of the married couples in America are estimated to be divorced, currently. However, divorce is the most difficult and the most painful part in one’s life. This is because the couple has spent a lot of time together, shared everything together, and also it is the most intense relation they have been into. After sharing so much from each others life, even the thought of separation fills a couple’s environment with sulk.
No one gets married with the possibility of getting divorced. But after a stage when nothing seems to be working right and even when you want to hold on to your spouse, you just keeping going away, the only feeling you get is of suffocation and sadness. That’s when you know it’s time to bid a goodbye to the person whom you promised your lifelong love and support. Yes! It is difficult, it always is. It takes a lot of tears, stress, guilt and helplessness to come to the decision of ending a relationship.
What is the point of being in a relationship that gives you nothing positive? Divorce is not a choice but it’s a state where one has ‘No Other Option’. That relationship has to end for the partners to be able to move on in life and be happy again. Wouldn’t it be easier if there was a simpler and a less excruciating way of accepting the end of a relationship? Certainly! That is how the concept of a ‘Divorce Ceremony’ took birth. People get married, have children and get divorced. But most of the divorces do not really end their stories.
Even after a couple is divorced both the partners have bitter feelings for each other. It is the most common after-effect of a divorce. Not only do the couples suffer but the burns are felt by people close to them too. If this could be smoothed, life would have been so much simpler! We have ceremonies for every occasion in our life, birthday, name ceremony, marriage, death, etc. But a divorce did not have a ceremony or any way that can reduce the pain and the roughness in heart. But, now we have a way, the divorce ceremony.
The Divorce Ceremony
A divorce ceremony is a celebration for divorce. It has caught up a lot attention and acceptance from the church. This ceremony was propounded by Hiroki Terai, a Japanese man. This usually involves a practice where a ritual is performed to free the couple from their marital bindings and from each other’s responsibility; it is similar to having a breakup party or even like a wedding. Friends and relatives of both the parties are called and a ritual that will ease separation is performed, which is followed by a party.
Celebrating a divorce does make sense because a couple is going to depart only to be happy and in peace in the future. So then, why mourn about the whole process when the outcome is going to be blissful. The practice of divorce ceremony can be a simple private ceremony or even a flamboyant one, depending on the mutual consent of the couple. If the couple or people close to them like their children, parents are devastated, a couple can choose to have a simple divorce ceremony. And if the couple have found their respective new partners they can opt for a full-fledged party.
Hiroki Terai, the inventor of the divorce ceremony, is working as a divorce planner. The couple in japan meet near a temple and travel in different rickshaws to Terai’s place called the ‘Divorce Mansion’. Terai performs a small ritual for the couple after which he talks about the reason of the couple’s split and someone from the guest will address everyone with a speech that would begin with “Congratulations!”. After the cake cutting act (like the one in a wedding) the ceremony reaches its brink with the couples smashing their rings with a mallet.
The couple can choose to return the rings or keep them and add something to it or just remolding it into something else as a memory of the good times they’ve had. Once the ceremony is over, the couple may feel hollow in the heart for sometime. But after a while, when they cope up with the divorce, they will find a new dimension in their life. In the western world, a divorce celebration is like a wedding celebrations. After the divorce rituals, there is a divorce cake, champagne, a DJ and great food. Not to forget there are divorce costumes too.
The practice of a divorce ceremony is a relieving act if the couple is in consent. The ceremony also helps the children and other family members to accept the divorce easily. The partners feel free, relieved, lead a peaceful life “and they can live happily ever after”.